I have been in this relationship for about 4 months and my new bf is wonderful. Yet everytime he asks me a personal question, I have a tendency to shut him out. I have been in some pretty nasty relationships in the past but there is something different about this guy and I want to share everything with him but I close up on him like a clam everytime we start to get close emotionally. Does anyone have any ideas of how I can overcome this fear?
2006-11-29 21:35:28 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have this rather embarrasing birthmark in shape of a butterfly I wouldn't show where, but it's not true by the time I get to bed with my gf.
It's pretty understandable that you want to not talk about some of the ugly things about your past relationships, and who wouldn't? It's the same when a guy's mother would ask him if he uses protection if he were to go to bed with his gf (MOOOOMM, DON'T ASK ME THAT!!). But it could lead to a certain drawback if you don't open up at one point.
When I was 21, I had a gf who I love very much, and like your bf she's just as curious as a cat (hence named Kat) and would often ask me about my past love life. I of course never did and eventually she found out when she and I went to this night club when my ex came to me and asked to take her back. Back then I didn't know she had a hair-trigger jealous streak and I got dumped because of that.
Then it got me into thinking: can I trust her to not change when I tell her or can I trust myself not to change because it's too painful or embarrasing?
In a relationship, there are things that needs to be established, and trusting with yourself is the key. Then you develop this trust with your significant other in hopes that it becomes whole. So you may hate yourself in the morning if you told him about that one part of your past. But the pain will double if your bf gets hurt because you didn't trust him to be supportive and to let him hold you to make things better once you tell him of your sad past. It can be rocky at first, but if he does love you, then you know that the love, as well as the trust, is real.
2006-11-29 21:52:42 · answer #1 · answered by once_a_nerd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ms; time is the only thing. Maybe because of the problems you have had in the past you are 100% sure you can trust this guy. Try writing things down that you want to share and explain it to him. Only way you are going to find out if you can trust him.
Good Luck.
2006-11-29 21:42:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a few screaming orgasms and he'll never be able to shut you up!
2006-11-29 21:38:26 · answer #3 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
save the tell all for after the wedding, that way, when he leaves, he won't be telling your secrets to everyone......
2006-11-29 21:41:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋