I slept with my best friends boyfriend who is my boyfriends bestfriend how can i make it up to her?

Question

one night i was at my best friends house we were all drinking she got in a fight with her BF and then i got in a fight with my BF who then left SO it was just me and her BF we sat around talking for a while then he lend of and kissed me and from there it progessed we both told each other that we would never say anything but i felt so bad that after three months we were all together again drinking i told her and MY BF what had happen after that he said it didn't happen but after they went to bed he confused the next morning she woke me up drove me home crying and said we would talk about this later and since that day about 2 weeks ago i haven't heard from her ... her and her BF had since made up as well as My BF and i know my BF won't talk to her BF aka his best friend and she is not talking to me .HOW CAN I MAKE THIS BETTER SHOULD I CALL HER OR JUST LET IT GO I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT TO DO I NEVER MEET FOR THIS TO HAPPEN !!!!!

Answer 1

this is called learning.

you waited three months to talk about it. even if you had told them right away, you still broke the trust of three people. yes, three people.

you lied to your friend by sleeping with her man and hiding it.
you lied to your man by sleeping with his friend and hiding it
you lied to your secret lover by saying you wouldn't talk, but you did.

there was no good way out of it to begin with, but now you should have learned a valuble lesson. some things might hurt a little to keep inside, buy they hurt a lot more when let out.

something about best friends though - a best friend will forgive you almost anything - she forgave the boyfriend, didnt' she? let her do it on her own though. maybe ring her up in a week or two, to go out and get pizza or something - but don't talk about it then either! it's over, don't bring up a past that can't be cured.

Answer 2

Don't be stupid! (sorry for the word)
Here's the scenario, you were all messed up and your story is just like another teen movie. That thing happened because you were both carried away by the thing SEXUAL URGE. You can't control your libido because you were both in-control of your emotions. Emotions wherein the two of you were confused and mad.

What you did was right. You told them the truth because I know that you really love your boyfriend. Heres what you have to do, call your bestfriend and tell her that you really didn't meant the things happened between you and her boyfriend. Tell her that in that situation everything popped out because even though things didn't happen her boyfriend might someday do the same. Am I right?? Even you lose your boyfriend don't lose a friend because a friend can always be there for you. I bet you know a lot about her than your boyfriend. I suggest that in your relationship you must move on and find your girlfriend and fix what ever things you had broke! Ok? E-mail me if you have further questions: [e-mail]

Answer 3

Well this is a pretty crappy lesson to have to learn. I'm sorry for all the pain all of you are going through.

I think the only way to heal this is send her a card in the regular US mail expressing how sorry you are, and letting her know how bad you still feel for the pain you caused. I would also reassure her that you know it was a huge mistake and you are not in any way ever going to pursue her boyfriend. Tell her that you understand she needs time, and that if she ever wants to talk you'll be there if she wants to.

And then give them both time and distance. You're just going to have to get out of her life for a little while. Your boyfriend is probably hurting a lot right now too, use this time to concentrate on him and his needs. Allow him to express his pain and his anger (VERY IMPORTANT to let him express his anger, because then he will be able to let it go.)

If he feels he can't freely share his hurt and especially his anger over the betrayal, and that you have truly "heard" it without making excuses or trying to shut him up, then your relationship will most likely eventually break up, because it will send him the message that he can't trust you to love him unconditionally, especially with his grief.

If he sees he can trust you with all his feelings and you'll still love him and protect him, even from your own shame and humiliation, and not try to downplay how he feels, then you have every chance of winning back his trust and his whole heart.

But the lesson is neither of you should ever wholly "trust" each other, even if you get married, because keeping tabs on your partner is a subconscious signal that you care a lot, believe it or not.

There's a lot of wisdom about relationships and how to make them successful at the link below: (Good Luck!)

Answer 4

That is the most lowest thing you can ever do to your best friend, sleep with her boyfriend then boast about it on 'Yahoo answers'. Are you serious? Count on this 9 year friendship to be over. If i were your bestfriend, i dont think i'd everrrrr wanna see you againn. lol

Answer 5

The first thing you need to do is to learn how to be trustworthy . You broke a commitment with your boyfriend which broke an unwritten code about sleeping with your best friends mate and then you broke a vow of silence with him by telling the story . You can't be trusted for anything , can you ? The second thing you should do is to learn that being a tramp isn't as cool as you may think it is and finally , you need to let sleeping dogs lie. I'd be amazed if any of them ever talk to you again but if they are talking to you then for God's sake...learn how to keep your
friggin' mouth shut !

Answer 6

Just let it go.
There is nothing you can do.You did enough.Now,unfortunately she has the upper hand on the situation and she gets to decide what to do.It is hard but you just have to do whatever she decides. She is obviously not talking to you because she feels betrayed,and that she can not trust you any more.But the weird thing is why did she accepted her bf back and keeps you on the side?That is very contradicting.You and her bf were into this together...In my opinion ahe is not acting right on this matter.But as i said she is the one who decides now so....better step back.Let her think, or just let it go...

Answer 7

Take this as a lesson and you can't make it up to her, never. Let them be, that's what they want and you and your bf go on with your life's. Just let her know you are sorry. O, I think both of your relationship won't be for long anymore, the trust is totally gone.

Answer 8

I dont know if you can save yall's friendship...Right now she sees that you betrayed her..Yes her boyfriend did to, but you being her best friend counted far more important to her..Drinking never helps anyone for they all tend to get into situations like this...I would suggest if she will listen to you,,sit with her and apologize without drinking with a sorrowful heart..Ask for her forgiveness then it is up to her to decide...Forgive yourself...If you dont some day it will destroy you...People get together and all start drinkin then fights start then mistakes and some mistakes have a lasting effect....I pray that all will work out great for you all but if it dont I pray it is a lesson for you all...I dont judge for i have made mistakes in my life and i dont call names cuz that aint right for any reason...But he made the advance first and even though u should have got up and walked away you being drunk messed with ur head....Ask forgiveness from all and one day who knows with God's grace,,she will forgive you but her trusting you again will take time...I will keep you in my prayers

Answer 9

Who are you kidding? You messed up big time, and if I was your friend I would literally hurt you, but then again your friend should thank you for showing her ,what a scum her BF is. If it wasn't you,it would have probably been someone else. Just keep apologising and don't ever do it again, to anyone. Keep yourhead up, and move on.

Answer 10

Mistakes happen. In my opinion, if you truly respect her and her relationship, you'd keep your distance and slowly gain her trust again. I would recommend doing this by reinforcing your apology through various methods. One option could be calling her up, and leaving a personal message on her voice mail. Another, could be going out to lunch, having her come on her own, so she's coming on her own terms, and provide an apology once more.