No disrespect meant to all the wonderful childminders/childcarers out there but I just feel so nervous about leaving my little boy. He is two and a half and I have never left him with anyone but family before. I go to Uni two days a week and my mum has been looking after him so far and although she protests, she is not that well at the minute and I think he is getting too much for her, she is only in her late 40's but she had a bad illness recently and it's left her drained, but anyway I don't burden her with childcare duties at the minute (I do pay her by the way, even though she protests about that too) and Im considering a child minder but I just feel so nervous to leave him, how can I be sure he will be completely safe? my friend used a child minder who had great references but her little girl kept coming home with bruises and being withdrawn and it turned out to be the child minde hitting her!! I can't stand the thought of it happening to my little one, Im pretty torn.
2006-11-29 21:05:17 · 20 answers · asked by Smoochy Poochy 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
My hubby says I worry too much and he is probably right but we have a new baby due soon and she will probably go to the child minder too, she won't be able to say if something is wrong. It all sound irrational I know but it's how I feel!
2006-11-29 21:07:08 · update #1
Its always really tough when it comes to your kids, in the end you should just do what you know is right for you and your family
2006-11-29 21:07:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your worries can be a good thing and they can be a bad thing. You're right to think about all these possibilties, just don't let them run your life. I have an in home daycare and look after other people's children. I will never take my child to an in-home daycare. I know that's hypocritical, but here's the thing. I know what I do and don't do with the children. I know my home is a safe place for these babies. However, I can never know that about someone else. I have a sister that was repeatedly raped by our babysitter's husband. My parents are amazing loving parents, but had no way of knowing it was happening. This couple was best friends with my parents!!! Eat out - Game night - All that! Nobody knew. I think that there are lots of very good childminders out there! Lots! I'm one of them, but after watching what my sister has gone through emotionally, it's just not worth it. Now, here is what I would be willing to do. There are lots of daycares in the states now that are set up with video. The children and the childminders are recorded every second they are there and you as the parent have the right to request to watch any of them at any time. Some are even set up with a secret password on line so that parents can log on and watch their kids live through the internet while at work. I think daycares are a GREAT thing for kids. It gives them interaction with others that they would never get at home. The most important thing is that you are completely comfortable with who you leave your children with whether that is a friend, family member, established center, or a liscenced in home provider. You could even consider inviting someone into your home each day where you have cameras set up. It's cheaper than you might think. Follow your local laws of course. They are all great resources for child care when handled in the proper way. Best of Luck! I know it's a tough decision.
2006-11-30 09:00:38 · answer #2 · answered by Concerned Mom 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to research which childminder you are going to use. I put my daughter witha childminder only to find out a few months later that her boyfriend who lived with her was using heroin. what could have happened still scares me to this day. the woman in question is not allowed to be a childminder anymore. After that awful experience I kept my daughter at home, but had to consider childcare again when I went back to work. She is now 2 and a half and at a creche, which she loves. It is a lot safer as they are checked by inspectors just like a school would. There are also a lot of staff to keep a close eye on the children. If you want peace of mind put your children in a creche or nursery.
2006-12-03 17:29:13 · answer #3 · answered by megz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you looked into nurseries? If you study often you can get childcare cheaper than normal (term time only) - then your children will be able to be in a setting with more than 1 carer (and your fears might be less if there is more adults present) - often Universities and colleges have ones attached / ones they recommend - as lots of people nowadays have children + study.
The problem you face leaving your child is one very familiar to me, and I have gone through it too - particularly when you dont feel confident with the childminder. Do you not have any other family your child can stay with?
I suggest you look around for nurseries rather than a childminder - and after all it wont be that long before you can look after your child yourself - if you have another on the way
2006-11-30 05:13:53 · answer #4 · answered by schmushe 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i understand where you are coming from it is a very hard time for you but if the childminder is a good one she will allow you to drop your child off for an hour or so a couple of times to see if the child settles in ok and to let you get use to it aswell . i would tell the childminder your concerns and talk through things with her also pick your child up early sometimes to see whats going on what activites the children get up to, after a week or two your child should be settled and be quite happy to go there.Childminders are usually very kind caring people who love working with kids. You can read the childminders ofsted reports on the ofsted website to put your mind at ease. Hope this helps Good luck
2006-11-30 09:15:10 · answer #5 · answered by Becky K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
~I don't think you worry too much. I pay close attention to men hanging around the "childminder." I also watch how my daughter would act when I would leave and when I returned. I would ask how her day went. Does the Day Care provider treat the other children well?
Children can't communicate that well, so you have to watch the way they act very closely. When you pick up your son, allow time to just "hang around" and watch, let him show you around or carry him around and watch his reactions. NEVER be afraid to ask questions, it lets them know you are serious about your child's well being. Trust your instincts.
My daughter was in and out of so many day care facilities, I just quit taking her. Luckily, I had that option.
Check references, even though they aren't always a sign that everything is okay. You sound like a good mom.~
Good luck and Congrats!
2006-11-30 05:23:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have learnt that I have to let go of my children from the minute they were born. So why are you worried? What's going on here?
What do you think will happen if you let you children go to the minder?
If you make an informed and intelligent choice about your childminder you should be able to leave your child with her with total confidence.
2006-11-30 13:33:01 · answer #7 · answered by Sally E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are irrational at all! I am staying home with my daughter for that reason! I do childcare in my home for extra money. My advice is to try and find someone you trust! And the first sign of anything take your kids out. Even if you are just worrying too much who cares? Everyone worries about their kids. Some advice--get references, look for a tidy house, but not too tidy, (kids need to be able to have fun there) and just go by your gut instinct. Good Luck!
2006-11-30 12:26:38 · answer #8 · answered by butterfliesbrown 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do feel for you. I always think that no one can look after my children as well as I can. We know our children and would die for them. I was very lucky that my mom was there to help when ever
I needed someone. I was never in the position that I had to put my trust in childminders. However, I do have lots of friends that are childminders and good ones at that. I think if would help if you got to know someone personally or if they have been recommended to you. I think you will have an instinct as to whether you like that person and it all boils down to trust. You can really only be alert and let your childminder know how anxious you are - she will understand. Hopefully reassuring you that if your child is fretting or unwell she will contact you asap. Good Luck!
2006-11-30 05:27:42 · answer #9 · answered by Minxy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you're going to be worried - they're your kids and you don't want to leave them with just anybody. I've never used a childminder but I know a few of them through our kids going to school and if I had to, I wouldn't have a problem leaving my children with them. What you need to do is either find someone who has been recommended to you by a friend or........ meet up with prospective childminders beforehand so it puts your mind at ease. Good luck! x
2006-11-30 05:19:49 · answer #10 · answered by Lost and found 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my son is with a childminder who is fantastic i visited about 12 before i found her and what i liked so much is that the children were happy and she also gave me numbers of other parents who i could speak to. all i can say is go with your gut feeling and if your child seems comfortable with the person i also asked how long the other children had been with her that's usually a good sign if she has had the children years and has cared for older siblings
2006-12-02 16:13:19 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋