I have been up all night checking out my boyfriends phone records. He says he isnt talking to anyone. Well he Has talked to "her" (his ex wife- married for 10 years) since April every month except July. Should I even care? They were married after all- and we arent. Why do I care that he talks to her? And HOW do I stop checking into it? I hate this!! Please help me stop!!??
2006-11-29 19:53:41 · 7 answers · asked by tbaby 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It has been a year that we have been "hanging out" together. They have no children together. She has two. This is a no win relation. I will move on, immediately.
2006-12-01 07:33:36 · update #1
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change = yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. They don't respect women or children. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
2006-11-29 20:08:30 · answer #1 · answered by Photographer 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
10 years is a long time to be married now adays (I am going on 11 whoo hoo) and so just because you aren't merried to them doesn't mean you just stop loving them right away. If it really bothers you, talk to him. The worst thing you can do is keep crap in you until it builds up and explodes. If he says there is nothing to worry about and doesn't shift his eyes to the left when he says it (true test seriously, people lying to you look left...dd does it all the time) then I would just let it go. He's with you after all However if you don't let this drop at sometime he's going to feel you don't trust him and then it's all over with for the two of you
2006-11-30 04:00:34 · answer #2 · answered by heartache 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Need more details. I talk to my ex only in relation to my kids . . . i.e. events that he needs to be awareness of in their life's, school, pick up times, deeper concern of illness (not just a cold). Aside from issues of kids, I don't care to or feel the need to talk to him. Your boyfriend calling his ex-wife...do they have shared children together, financial issues to iron out, etc. If none of those or related issues...then my vote is...don't talk to the ex too often (rarely). If says he's concerned about some personal issue of her's that she needs his guidance and/or help with...well, I'm sorry...that's one of the 'perks' of marriage...having your boyfriend help her out...no longer married...leave the ex alone...especially if he has another woman in his life. Do check into the reason(s) for the contacts and if not valid reasons...talk with him re: this. If he still continues contact with her...that is a clear message to you and cut him lose. I personally would be second 'banana' to no woman...ever.
2006-11-30 04:05:36 · answer #3 · answered by onelight 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like someone else said, if there are not children involved, there's not a good reason for him to be talking to his ex. That is YOUR man, now, NOT hers.
You should confront him with this, but here's how you do it. You wait until you know that he's going to be on the phone with her, and then you "walk in". Ask him who he's on the phone with. If he tells you the truth, ask him if he talks to her often.
If he lies to you, break it off with him. ASIDE from the fact that he's still talking to his ex-wife, now he's made a liar out of himself. You do NOT want someone who lies.
If he does, however, tell you the truth, make it clear that it's bothering you. If he refuses to change it, walk away. There are plenty of men out there who are emotionally available, as well as physically available, too.
2006-11-30 04:20:40 · answer #4 · answered by <3 The Pest <3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You obviously don't have trust in your relationship. Trust is HUGE huge HUGE. You shouldn't be together in this case if he's checking up on her still and you don't trust him.
You probably ought to talk with him about this, face to face. No more behind the back stuff from either of you or it will NEVER EVER work out. You'll end up ex #2 if you guys keep this up.
2006-11-30 04:05:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your addicted now you can't stop. you need to pray and ask god to help you. why do they talk do they have kids if not mayb you should be worried. or ask do you still talk to your ex and ask what do you 2 talk about if you don't mind me asking be discreet
2006-11-30 04:05:30 · answer #6 · answered by k2u 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i hitnk you should talk with him about this
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2006-11-30 04:03:41 · answer #7 · answered by john doe 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋