Last month my grandfather passed away and my grandma went to stay at her sister's while we took care of his things. While going through his closet we found a box filled with envelopes and letters from my grandma's cousin. The letters make it quite evident that grandpa was having an affair with the woman until the day he died, even suggesting that he was going to divorce my grandmother and marry her cousin. My grandmother loved my grandfather very much and now we have a dilemna, should we show grandma the letters or should we just keep it a secret?
2006-11-29 18:47:02 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
that is a hard one, best not show her now, she was married to the man so she has a right to know, i think wait till the grieving process has settled down then maybe broach the subject, you never know she probably even suspected, women do have a sixth sense about these things
2006-11-29 18:51:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No - why on Earth would you want to add to her hurt...... Throw away the letters (burn them, shred them). She's going to have enough awful grief to get through over the next few years. It would be awful to "pull the rug out from under her" when it comes to shocking her with this and a different view of the life she thought she knew.
Let that cousin who apparently didn't care enough about your grandmother to stay away from her husband take that secret to her grave as well.
One final note: Grandma may have kind of known about the affair but chosen to ignore it and not talk about it in order to save face. If that were, by any chance, the case; let her keep saving face. She'd be humiliated if she knew you saw what you did.
2006-11-30 03:01:27 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my thoughts on your dilemma, you better buried the letters together with your grandfather. then, do not let your granny be near with her cousin, if she hear any of this "secret affair", this will hurt her the most and might make her life miserable. let her remember their so-called "solid marriage" as is, it will cause a conflict on her relationship with her cousin. you should confront the "cousin" and tell her that you know about the "affair" and ask kindly that you don't want her to upset your granny at any cost....
i hope there are no "hidden outcome" on the "illicit affair" that might cause a trouble for all of the family..check out everything that relates to the property, accounts, wills or insurance, your grandpa might designate someone else as a beneficiary, your granny will be devastated if that is the case...
2006-11-30 03:04:52 · answer #3 · answered by salome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, do not show them to her. What good would it do to devastate her that way?
Another thought, Grandma may have known all along (us old birds are smarter than you realize) and it would just embarrass her that you found out about it.
Either way, Grandma will be hurt.
2006-11-30 02:50:58 · answer #4 · answered by maamu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not! With grandpa his secret should also be buried. Granny has such beautiful dreams and memories connected to grandpa which will support her mentally until her death! so do not shatter her ray of hope!
2006-11-30 04:28:31 · answer #5 · answered by jinitha p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont spend your energy in breaking a relationship than making one. If you tell your grand mother about your grandfathers affair then your grand father will not return from the dead, but your grand mother can reach there.
2006-11-30 03:10:27 · answer #6 · answered by rumble 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh...my...thats a dilemma! Digging on dead ppl secret, is not a thing to do but since you have discovered it you have to tell your grandma. She has ther right to know!
2006-11-30 02:51:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Burn the letters and never tell her about the whole thing, hes dead now. Let his soul rest in peace.
2006-11-30 02:50:50 · answer #8 · answered by Dr Dee 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Burn the letters...Let her remember him in a good way, this will do nothing but cause heartache for grandma...
2006-11-30 02:49:48 · answer #9 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definately do not allow your Grandmother to find out about this!
2006-11-30 03:23:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋