He brings up his past girlfrends alot in conversation and sometimes his ex wife,even though she treated him really bad. I find it irritating at times but dont like to let it show that it bothers me?
2006-11-29 18:28:11 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
He might be trying to get you jelous, because some poeple think that if you get jelouse it shows you care.. but your not budging! So maybe you should have a talk with him about it.
2006-11-29 18:37:02 · answer #1 · answered by wendy 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you plan on marrying him, you need to discuss this now, before you end up ex-wife number two. As a divorcee, I can tell you that his side is not the only one to the divorce. Sometimes knowing why breakups happened from the other spouse's point of view will offer insight into the honestly rude and unsettling behavior.
If he's remembering them fondly and mooning with hearts and flowers over "Whatever happened to . . . ?", he's thinking of someone else as a more passionate companion. If he's critical of them and bitter, he's probably talking the same way about you behind your back. If he's trying to be "open and honest" (a lot of men think women want to know this because of the whole need-to-be-completely-open-and-honest dookie of current pop psychology), then he's trying to respect you by letting you know everything about him before you make a decision on whether he's lifetime material or not.
There's no harm in sitting down and talking to him calmly about it. And if there is? He's not the man for you. If you get married, there will be HUGE issues down the road, and if you cannot talk to him as your best friend and partner, then you will be miserable for the short duration of your marriage.
2006-11-29 18:41:43 · answer #2 · answered by Jess B 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Men sometimes do that. If it makes you feel insecure or if it hurts your feelings, you should tell him so.
I was in the same situation as you. I got on my nerves! So i finally told him without too much drama, that I was tired of hearing about his ex and that I was not ineterested about hearing about it. I also told him that it was not a matter of jealousy, that I undesrtand and accept his past relationships as part of him, but that I was here NOW and that I would rather look at the present and the furtture, rather than dwelling into the past. I told him taht he should limit the ex-talk to the absolutly minuimun and only if it's necesary.
He apologized and I haven't hear a word about her since. Check my questions, I was there just a few months back.
Good luck
2006-11-30 01:56:05 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How does he bring them up? I've noticed lately my fiance and I have started discussing past relationships what we like what we did and of course the omg I can't believe I saw anything in that person. I think we do it as we are both in the final stages of saying good bye to our past. I mean in 32 days there will be a wedding we are looking at houses tomorrow its almost like a final farewell.
Is he talking of them like that or like gee Peggy never would have put that there (comparing you to them?)
If its the first I think let him talk the ghosts out of his head if its the second tell him how you feel if it doesn't work tell him to be nice when he talks about you and leave.
2006-11-29 18:52:52 · answer #4 · answered by emmandal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem. It was like we were reliving his relationsips constantly. I finally had to forbid him from talking about his exes because it was giving me a complex. When I asked him why he does it, he said he just doesn't see a problem with it and when he talks about his memories, they just happen to be involved. There could be a lot of reasons for why he brings them up - just ask him why and tell him that it bothers you, that you'd rather just focus on your current relationship than reliving past ones, whether they were good relationships or not.
2006-12-03 09:28:01 · answer #5 · answered by abrennan01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is insecure in your relationship... You do need to tell him it bothers you, or he will keep doing it. I think that most people bring up the ex file because they want to hurt their partner in some way, or make you jealous or something. He might be insecure about something and although his ex did hurt him, she also was there for some stuff. So I would let him know that your TIRED of hearing the ex flie being brought up and to STOP or you'll make it stop. He'll stop you just have to talk to him, NO GAME PLAYING!!!
2006-11-30 03:17:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Everyone comes with a past.. you have to accept that or move on. I understand being uncomfortable with his talking about past relations, but would you rather he told you nothing about his life during all that time? You would not know large pieces of his past! If he is dragging on and on about "ex's" then tell him you want to know about HIM during that time, not them. The point is.... to be able to accept him fully, youre going to have to accept that you werent the first woman in his life. You are the most important though (he is with YOU not them) and that is all that matters.
2006-11-29 21:51:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, i have had this problem... The best thing you should do is probably just talk to him about it.. I'm not sure why they try to compare us to their ex's but if you know that he loves you and you trust him then you have nothing to worry about... He's with you not them, he's either just remembering the good times or bad times with that person. I know it gets on your nerves but he will eventually stop... just give him more memories so he can talk about you instead
2006-11-29 18:37:45 · answer #8 · answered by Johnsgirl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he compares his exes to you and feels like he has so much more now than he did then. Sometimes me and my boyfriend do the "what were we thinking back then thing".
2006-11-30 16:28:17 · answer #9 · answered by MISS 84 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he brings them up because he trusts you and feels comfortable with you. he probably loves you and doesnt want to pour out all his feelings to the guys if you really dont feel comfortable with this then hes not the guy for you tell him that your not comfy with it and let him decide on what he wants but people who love each other need to be able to feel like they can talk about anything to that other person.
2006-11-29 18:58:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
let him know that its just boring to hear about his ex's. Ask for a more interesting conversation. If he wont stop then suggest to him that you will wait until he sorts things out in his mind, but you just find it too boring to sit through that. he will stop it
2006-11-30 20:35:56 · answer #11 · answered by spuds_suds 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋