who lives outside of state. The only people that qualify for that right now are my parents and a mentally handicapped brother I have who I love very much. The ultimate reason/argument/excuse he uses is that he and his family don't send gifts to people outside of state, they only send greeting cards. And I don't have anything against that, I don't send gifts to all my relatives b/c that would be thousands of dollars. But he should have nothing against me sending a gift to my parents and a gift to my brother. Or if not, a gift for all of them. THey wouldn't mind not receiveing a gift, b/c before I got married we were poor and we really didnt have money to give each other too many gifts, we just did meaningful stuff together. But now I have a job and can more than afford to get a small gift and he's giving me such a hard time about it and won't compromise one bit. The real reason he doesnt is b/c he doesnt like my dad at all, but that is no reason not to let ur wife get them gifts
2006-11-29 18:11:55 · 14 answers · asked by ccmarket1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I asked my husband in the nicest way and respectful and all and logical...but no is no and i'm having such a hard time. Normally a wife should not even have to ask her husband if she can get her family gifts...it should be like mutually agreed. B/c wife is not retarded to make her husband go broke for Christmas...and I work too. and i'm not into big gifts i'm into meaningful things that the receiver would have for the rest of his or her life. :( Anyways anyone out there who has a wise word for me? Thanks
2006-11-29 18:14:23 · update #1
I know its not right...and he says "why are you arguing about this with me?" and see how you're taking ur family's side over mine? and i'm liek WHAT THE HECK that is not waht i'm doing!!! You're not the one who's not letting me do something that is NORMAL and that I wanna do. ANd he says well they should be happy with a card...a nice poem from the heart means more than a materalistic gift (then he says i'm materialistic and my family is materialistic) and i'm like WHere do you get THIS from? then i say why don't u give all ur family poems too then huh? giving gifts is not being materialistic. and he says well if we see each other its normal to give gifts u cannot go empty handed...but if like my sister lived out of state i would just send her a card. i'm like ok wel if thats what u wanna do then fine i dnt care how u deal w/ur sisters or w/e but if i wanna send more than a card you should not have anyting against it!!! and then i'm the bad one and i'm the one he gets mad at etc e
2006-11-29 18:28:06 · update #2
oh and by the way he's letting me get gifts for the sisters i have living in the same state w/me b/c i'm gonna "see" them...then my other family is gonna wonder how come i didn't give them anythhing...they'll prob figure out anyways and they dont' make a big deal out of it they don't wanna create issues for me and my husband...but it just makes me feel TERRIBLE
2006-11-29 18:31:30 · update #3
If i do that hidden gift card thingy my family will thank my husband for the gift card then he'll say "what gift card, i never got u guys a gift card" and really i don't want more fights... but thanks for your feedback!!! Yes a gift card i was tihnking of too...no shipping charges...but thats not good either. And if I do that then my parents will think my husband was ok w/it which is not true...and they might return it when they find out that he wasn't ok w/it... I"m sorry to you all who read that my question here got kind of out of hand and its more like a whole essay.... I"m sorry about that.
2006-11-29 18:43:26 · update #4
He can't force you to conform to his family's way of doing things. You have every right to send gifts to your family. Do it.
2006-11-29 18:26:35 · answer #1 · answered by G.V. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remember this blood is thicker than water. What your husband is doing is trying to control you and quite frankly you shouldnt give him that right. SO what should you do you may ask? Go ahead and send a gift, your husband has to work at some time or maybe you work and you can do it on your break or something ... just dont tell him you are doing it ...
If you are afraid of that I think you seriously need to rethink about your choice of being married to him, do you really want to stay with someone who tells you who you can send gifts too?
2006-11-30 03:09:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have only one thing to say. Does he fo gift shopping with you? While you are shopping get a gift card and a nice card and you both win. Then he won't see the gift and they can buy something meaningful and you don't pay shipping. You can even buy it and keep it a secret and just slip it in the card. Buy it while you are out at work.
2006-11-30 02:37:57 · answer #3 · answered by marilee w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need some serious help in your marriage. Your husband appears to be a control freak and you my dear, are his doormat! I would advise you to seek some counseling as soon as possible because this relationship will not get better only worse if you don't both change. You need to be more assertive and he needs to be more compassionate and giving. Stand your ground, send whatever presents you want to your out of state family and if doesn't like it , tell him to take a hike!!! Family is forever but men are a dime a dozen. Good luck.
2006-11-30 02:43:57 · answer #4 · answered by jesshispet 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only reason I would be weary is because of shipping, that can be dangerous, but if that isn't the issue, he really doesn't have a case. He can't force his family traditions onto you, and if he persists with stuff like this, maybe you should get out because he is trying to be controlling.
2006-11-30 02:15:19 · answer #5 · answered by Mikey 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry hunnie but sounds like you need to tell your husband that that's the diffrence between his family and yours. And if he doesnt like your dad then tell him that you'll just say that the gift was from you only because your husband was being childish.
2006-11-30 02:24:44 · answer #6 · answered by bluesweet00000 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just do it anyway. You're husband doesn't control you marriage is a partnership. Even if you didn't work he shouldn't dictate to you who you send gifts to.
2006-11-30 02:18:56 · answer #7 · answered by uknowme 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if you sincerely wanted to send them a gift so just do it...he don have to know!
2006-11-30 02:56:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a Jerk , The Scrooge? The Grinch!! o well this is one Jerk that is on the knotty list this year , More presents for me!
2006-11-30 02:18:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man is mentally abusing you. He's trying to cut you off from your family so he can have more control.
GET AWAY FROM HIM NOW BECAUSE ABUSERS ONLY GET WORSE!
2006-11-30 04:24:49 · answer #10 · answered by Voodoid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋