Has anyone ever had a problem getting along with their step parents?

Question

Since my younger brother was born 18 years ago me and my step father have never gotten along. You see my step father is from the middle east and he thinks women basically should roll out the red carpet for men. So my step father has always shown favoritism to my younger brother. Anything my brother did was right but if I made a mistake i was dead wrong and was punished.I remember as a teenager going over to my grandmothers crying about the unfair treatment. My mother did the best she could because #1 he made her quit her job and #2 my mom has rheumatoid arthritis. Now i that i am grown and have moved away from home I am much happier. I do not speak to my step dad at all because he is such a chauvanist. I am worried that my little 8 yr old sister will be treated the same way i was because she is a female.However, I promised her that she could live with me one day. My mom beggs me to reconnect with me step dad, but i can't because he irks me with his sexist remarks. What should i do?

this is why i am uncomfortable with the idea of marriage.

Answer 1

I had a very similar issue with my step-mother only the problem had nothing to do with sexism. My father married my step-mother when I was just 6 years old and adopted her son, likewise she adopted my sister, Holly. I felt left out and unloved. Whenever my dad and his wife would fight I would get punished when he left for work.
Sometimes it was because I was too much like my father (our looks are near identical) or sometimes it was because I had a personality like my real mother.
Either way me and my sister both ended up leaving home before we turned 18 to avoid my step-mothers wrath. Over the years my step-mother has come to realize just how mean she was and on several occasions has apoligized to us.
While I forgive her I can never forget what she put me through and I will never trully respect her.

In your situation the only thing I can say is that you shouldnt have made a promise to your sister that you cannot keep and you should hope and pray that the situation isnt repeated with your sister. You are old enough now to escape, so do your best to do exactly that and if the situation comes around where you see your sister is being mistreated simply talk to your mother (alone) and ask if your sister can come stay with you for a little while.

Answer 2

Write a very long letter to him and explain everthing you just did. Also explain how the things he says are logically wrong. Remember, men are inherintly logical and women are inherintly emotional. I would end it with, if you cannot change your treatment of my sister she will think the exact same things and you will end up having no relations with either of us. Also make it a "compliment" sandwich in which you are complementing him at the beginning and the end of the letter. Or something like that.

Answer 3

Your stepdad is an abuser. Your mother and your sister are being subjugated and taught that this is best for them. Your brother is being taught how to subjugate women.

You know this because you were there.

Talk to your mother. And then talk more. You may not be able to save her, but you can save your little sister. If they are living in an abusive environment, then child services will step in and take BOTH children away.

You know what you have to do.

Answer 4

i m really sorry for u first of all. i live with my own parants and they love me very much. even i cannot think my life without them. if u feel better now, then what's the reason to reconnect with ur step father,when u dont like him? just try to have a happy and safe life. and i think it is the only way to avoid this kind of mental pressure. if u need help further, then pls dont hassitate to contact me. i always try to help those who involve in problem. i dont khow whether i can really help people, but i try my best. All the best...............

Answer 5

try calling your nearest
Focus on the Family centre
they have a wonderful programme to
help you .....................truly