I met this awesome girl in college one day. I took offered to take her out to lunch and then a few days later asked her out. So we ended up going on two dates and she recently told me she just wants to be friends. I mean, we had pretty good conversation, she seemed interested in me, and everything seemed to go really well then she ended up breaking it to me that she doesn't see us going any farther than just being friends. She would even commit to future dates. What can be done to keep her? I mean where did I go wrong?
2006-11-29 17:30:52 · 12 answers · asked by dannyb 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The honest truth is you can't 'win her over'. At least not now, any way. It may not be what you want, but it's what SHE wants. And you are going to have to respect that wish if you still want to be close to her. If you try to change her mind yourself, you may end up souring the friendship. And a friendship is much better than no relationship at all.
If you still really want to go for her, be the best guy friend you can be! Just no touchy-feely boyfriend stuff. Be there for her. And if this girl is the right one for you, she'll come realize your potential. But don't be discouraged. There's lots of other cute chicks out there.
P.S. You did nothing wrong. Every person has their own ideals, interests, and persnickity ways. It's probably just how she felt at the time.
2006-11-29 17:48:00 · answer #1 · answered by Shiomi Ryuu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a girl tells me "I just want to be friends" I just say "cool, you seem like you'd be a cool friend."
Then I make sure she sees me flirting and dating other girls. Dude, when a girl tells you that she's either involved with someone else, has her eye on someone else, or you didn't generate enough attraction.
You started off wrong by "offering to take her out to lunch". You didn't even qualify her first. Secondly, "good conversation" doesn't necessarily create attraction. Did you ask her open-ended questions? Did you create a powerful, sexual vibe between the two of you by using playful teasing?
You asked: "What can be done to keep her?"
Wait a friggen minute! You don't even have her yet. So clearly you've got a bad case of tunnel vision. It's VERY important that you practice your flirting skills and game on at least several girls per week, otherwise you'll never have sharp skills. Chalk this one up to as that she is probably not interested in you. But stay playful and flirty and make sure she also knows you're going out on dates.
2006-11-29 17:38:43 · answer #2 · answered by thedatepro 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
are you sure you have done something wrong? I think before you even started kicking it with her... she may have had her mind set that she just wanted to be friends (for some reason). If you want to win her over though give it some time, it's only been two dates!haha. She's probably at the point where she's wondering should she really invest in a relationship. weighing her options you know? show her what you're made off man (like your humble, compatible, sociable) everything that you think she needs in her life. you know what that is, i'm sure... you got it mane give it another shot in a few more dates.
2006-11-29 17:42:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you went wrong anywhere but there needs to be something called "chemistry" which you either have or you don't. I have gone out with incredible people and have had great conversations with them but there was no spark and I ended up just wanting to be friends, not because there was anything wrong. I say be her friend and maybe in the future something can come out of it but don't pressure her into anything more if you truly like her. Who knows...
2006-11-29 17:43:28 · answer #4 · answered by exotica 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys got to know each other better and perhaps she just didn't see in you what she was looking for. Hey, you sometimes gotta date lots of people to really find someone who makes you feel okay about yourself. What really did you have in common?
2006-11-29 17:39:12 · answer #5 · answered by Rosey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Google for "dating advice" especially a guy named David DeAngelo.
Basically, you're coming across as a wussy. Chicks are not attracted to wussies as mates.
2006-11-29 17:33:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well dont chase her too hard...girls like a challenge and also a guy who is confident :) dont be mean but dont overdo it. Show her you care but dont be a stocker. If this is meant to work out she will change her mind :)
2006-11-29 17:37:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
shes probably confused right now. respect the fact that she jsut wants to be friends. Act normal but still be really sweet to her, to let her know that you still have feelings towrd her, jsut give her space and she'll come around
2006-11-29 17:37:34 · answer #8 · answered by shelly s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your doomed
there is no future there but friends.
you have been placed in the good friend category and no one ever gets out of there.
You could try to ignore her and she if that changes her but I doubt it will work.
Play hard to get.
2006-11-29 17:37:34 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just listen to her and find someone else to date. nothing is more annoying that a guy who wont take a hint.
2006-11-29 17:36:58 · answer #10 · answered by bamboozled 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋