How do you tell someone to go to therapy for attempted suicide?

Question

My boyfriend (21yrs old) took 30 sleeping pills (depressed about money and school) he went though the ER and only a day of suicide watch at the hospital . He's acting like everything is cool and there's no more problem. His family wants him to go to therapy but he refuses . I don't want to pressure him even more. He's a good at hiding his emotions I just want him to be healthy. Please help how can point out to him that he may need professional help without sounding like I’m nagging.

Answer 1

I'm surprised the docs at the ER released him after one day. Suicide attempt sounds like a good candidate for an inpatient stay (but there are often a lack of beds in some hospitals).

If he is an imminent danger at any time you or his parents or anyone can call 911 and have him taken against his will.

In the meantime, my experience is to use a bit of tough love to get people to actively seek and participate in help. They are cognitively buried in that day's pity.

I go through a list of questions. "Do you remember a day when you were happy? Or not depressed?" "Did you want to kill yourself then?" "What changed between then and now?" "Do you realize that hurting yourself might be a permanent solution to this problem? If you make an impulsive decision in this state of mind, do you realize you don't get to go back the next day and take it all back?"

Then I bring up the selfishness of the suicidal mentality (not in a harsh way but tough love, and pointing out that the person is loved and people are there to support him/her). Does he care that little about you and his family that he wont accept help during this period or that he will run away from you all permanently?

Basically the final steps of the conversation should be a mutual agreement that he needs help doing what's best for him and everyone who cares for him is right there beside him and that you will both go right away to start packing for an inpatient stay or looking up doctors for outpatient therapy. If I were you, I would consider the inpatient because one day isn't long to get over whatever he was battling that day. My guess is a serious convo about the situation will open him up and you'll see his real emotional state.

Answer 2

You probably can't convince somebody they need therapy if they don't want to go. Many people are not comfortable talking to a therapist - I am one of those people - so therapy may not be a realistic option. What you can do is tell him how much you and other people really care about him and how much it scares you to think he might die. You can tell him how much it would hurt you if he killed himself.

You can help by reading on the web as much about depression as you can find. Maybe you could mention to him things you find on the web that would encourage him to seek help, or even get him to look at some pages with you.

There are some really good online support groups for depression where your boyfriend can participate in chats and discussion anonymously, much the same as being in group therapy. Google: depression support; or try this link:

http://depression.about.com/od/onlinesupport/a/chatandforum.htm

Its important for someone who is depressed to know that depression happens to a lot of people, and it isn't some shameful condition. There are many types of treatment, including medication, so maybe he would be willing to try antidepressants instead of therapy. Doctors usually have free sample for patients to try since finding the right antidepressant is trial and error.

If all else fails, maybe you would be willing to pretend you have depression, so you could go together with your boyfriend to a doctor's office to hear what the doctor has to say, and maybe at least get a prescription for an antidepressant that he could use.

I hope you find something that works.

Answer 3

It's a fact that people who contemplate suicide usually go through with it. It's said that suicides occur in the wee hours of the night, usually between 4 and 6 am.

I'm not an expert, but I have seen more suicides than I care to mention. Most of the time, it was a shock and even in hindsight, there were no clues. For those who fail in their attempts, they do behave as if everything is honky dory because they are either embarrassed about their condition or they just simply don't want to talk about it because they feel that no one on this green earth will understand what they are going through. They are so caught up with themselves that they don't see or know much else.

Instead of pestering your boyfriend about going to a shrink, instead urge him to go see his primary care physician for an evaluation. There are medications that can help and let the doctor suggest that he see an endocrinologist and/or a psychologist. Maybe he'll listen to what a doctor has to say.

No matter how frustrating your boyfriend might become, if you love him, try to hang in there. I know this has an affect on you as well.

Answer 4

If your boyfriend does not want help you can't do anything except let him know you care and you are on his side. If his family wants to take further steps it will only make him more angry. He is not proud of his actions or else is not proud that it didn't work. A few people do this for attention, but I don't think this is the case. If you keep asking him about this you will be nagging. Trust me it doesn't help. Just make sure he is not in possession of any meds. A doctor may or may not give meds to a suicide risk. They must make up their own mind they need help.

Answer 5

i have felt like that just recently. he needs poeple he can talk to and trust to talk to he also does need a job if he is worried about money it took me under a week to get myself into 1,500 dollars a fortnight job and i was a dole bludger untill i needed a job i have been there for 5 weeks and just about everything is paid for, then i can go out and enjoy my hard earned cash it wasnt and isnt easy but if he can put himself up to it anything is possible. he doesnt need sleepers i believe he needs relaxants they work much better.i believe i am also good at hiding my emotions see sleepers arent the way. you are a verry good girlfriend by the way keep it up i wish there were more women of your sort here in australia. best of luck to you both

Answer 6

you tell them stright out there isen't really any nice way to say it
People like that need to be told what to do!
You need to step in and make him dont be rude aboot it or anything but you have to think of it this way either he get's help or something even more worse might happen like he aucally goes all the way thorugh will suicide..
I know from personal experence i have delt with this too many times to count you know you just express to them how much you love them and you want them to be around and even say you will go with him for support do whatever it takes

Answer 7

Demand another therapist. You're in a tough position, but that is your best option. Contact your psychiatrist and explain it to her.

Answer 8

i went through the same thing... only the tables were turned.... ask him how he would feel and what he would do if you had done the same thing. tell him you care about him and that there are reasons why he feels like this and that there are people that can help.

Answer 9

Offer to go with him to therapy or ask him to go to maintain your relationship...

Answer 10

tell him to go in there because u care about him, or u love him( if u do). if u want to force him to go in there, make it a legal sitiuation where u tell the court he cant take care of himself lol..