I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year now. We knew we wanted to marry each other, just 2 months into our relationship. We knew exactly where we wanted to get married, and to be practical, we decided to go ahead and start looking at banquet halls, since the good ones book up fast. It's now been 3 months since we have put a deposit down on our banquet hall, our parents have done all the traditional formalities for us to be engaged, but my boyfriend still hasn't proposed! I have been nagging him about this for awhile, because it really frusterates me that we have already planned our wedding, and we aren't "officially" engaged. He got so frusterated with me nagging him about it, that he even told me how he was planning on doing it. Last week, I was so frusterated, that I seriously started doubting our relationship. Like many girls, I have always dreamed of a surprise proposal, and now I feel like it's never going to happen. Can anyone relate or give me advice?
2006-11-29 17:21:00 · 11 answers · asked by Waiting 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Oh, poor guy... Just listen to what you're saying: you're basically TRYING TO MAKE HIM marry you. With that kind of attitude, I don't think that guy will marry you without doubting himself whether this relationship will work. If you try to push him here, what else does he have to expect, once you're married and live together? He won't have a second of freedom to breathe - that's what you're telling him.
Don't get frustrated. If he doesn't propose just yet - he's got a reason to do that. Either he is trying to make a surprise for you, or maybe, he is still trying to figure out how will this whole marriage thing work. If you think he's not really planning to propose - then why in the world do you insist on him to do that? If he does plan to propose and waits for the right moment, you're pushing that moment farther and farther away, because you're thinking about it all the time, and he can't propose to you by surprise if that's all you think about. Maybe, he's been carrying a ring in his pocket for weeks now. But when you two meet.... "Hi, honey, when are you going to propose to me?" -" Oh, yea, I was just going to do that..." Sweet surprise, isn't it? Give him time and space, let him get ready. It's a big step in both of your lives. And it's not every day you get married.
Btw... Me and my gf have known each other for almost 3 years. And yet I still haven't proposed to her (even though we too talked about marriage many times). We are still figuring out each other, trying to understand the relationship better and soften out sharp egdes, which have a potential of ruining our relationship. Once we both think we've got to know each other well enough, then we'll start making plans of a wedding. Until then, we enjoy each others' company and get to know ourselves really well. One thing neither of us wants to happen is to find some really bad surprise about another person when we're already married. Way too many relationships brake up because they started too quickly. If people in those relationships would get to know each other before dating - maybe they'd never want to date another person and save tons of nerves and time.
2006-11-29 17:37:50 · answer #1 · answered by Negotiator 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can the man surprise you if you keep getting flusterated and asking him about the proposal? Calm down, you still have plenty of time and he must have been waiting for the right time... if you love him and want to marry him for life, then give it some time! If you doubt your relationship already because of your flustrations, then you might want to seriously think about your future with him!
So, give him a chance to make it happen ok... don't chase him off by nagging him already... wait till after you are married for that!
;0) Just kidding... Seriously, just show him that you are worth the wait, and that he is too! He won't even be able to stand it another day and he'll be on bended knee before you know it! :0)
2006-11-29 17:32:52 · answer #2 · answered by MaggieO 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay you NEED to stop nagging, if you want it to be a suprise, he wants to make it for you.... by you nagging all the time is putting too much pressure on him to get it and done you don't want to end up thinking in the long run he only proposed becuase you bugged him to do it. Now you already know its going to happen so just relax and enjoy the ride, he is probably waiting for it to be a suprise... don't mention it NOT once for about three weeks and see how it goes, guarantee that he will do it once he thinks its off your mind..... so it can be a SUPRISE.... GL
2006-11-30 03:21:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit harrassing the guy, he obviously wouldn't be going through all these preparations if he wasnt serious... However, I think it is jumping the gun a bit. I hope you work as hard on your relationship with the guy as you did in planning this shindig... because a marriage is forever not just one day. And from the sound of it, you need to quit picking up wedding books and pick up a relationship guide so your marriage doesnt end sooner than later... Good luck.
2006-11-29 17:27:57 · answer #4 · answered by mzagge06 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to slow down. When you first meet a person, love is always wonderful, everythings good. But trust me you need to get to know each other better. Take your time! Marriage is hard work and sometimes it's not all it's chalked up to be. If you can't get him to propose now, how do you think you'll get him to take out the trash later?
2006-11-29 17:29:23 · answer #5 · answered by icuassist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's not quite ready yet. Mine didn't ask until everyone left him alone so he could do it on his own time, his own way. Let him know how you feel and quite nagging. Communicate w/ him and see what the hold up is. There may be things you should learn now.
2006-11-29 21:55:18 · answer #6 · answered by tiger4mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot nag him. No man wants to be married to a woman that nags. Did you ever stop to think that your ruining it. Maybe he is trying to make it a surprise. Maybe he wants to make it special and then you go and nag and ruin it. You need to learn the element of surprise!
2006-11-29 17:31:37 · answer #7 · answered by Melody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since is it the Holiday season, you need to pipe down and be patient. Stop worrying about it and just enjoy your realationship.
2006-11-30 01:31:08 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STOP PLANNING YOUR WEDDING...wait for the proposal first. You are gonna scare the guy away if you keep wedding books etc, in your house....geez
2006-12-01 07:08:42 · answer #9 · answered by GrnEyedBandita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU ARE DRIVING A CAR HEADED NOWHERE, STOP, TURN AROUND AND THINK BEFORE YOU TAKE OFF AGAIN.
HOW CAN YOU PLAN A WEDDING WHEN NOTHING HAS HAPPENED TO PLAN IT!
PLEASE SIT DOWN AND TALK THIS OUT WITH HIM
2006-11-29 21:11:30 · answer #10 · answered by sammi girls mom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋