Anyone see/seen a counsellor?

Question

My fiance and i recently did a pre marriage pshyc test for the minister who is marrying us.We had really impressive results and didn't need much counselling as a couple.However,the minister said due to the past relating to my mum and dad,i need to see a cousellor.The thought of facing my demons scares the hell out of me,but,i know it needs to be done!
I just want to hear your experiences with them and if they really did help you.
Thanks:)

Answer 1

I'm in therapy and it's the best thing that ever happend to me (I had demons to face too.. and, like you, they were related to my parents - specifically my mother)

Yes, it's scary to dredge up all those old painful memories, and it WILL HURT a whole lot.

But, if you don't bring those demons out in a controlled way, they will come out in an uncontrolled way and that will cause you a whole lot of pain and misery.

So, you should listen to your minister, and get yourself some therapy! You won't regret it, and you're life will be a lot happier as a result!

Good luck!

Answer 2

Wow it's too bad that getting "pre marriage counseling" isn't a requirement for everyone. It would be interesting to see if this wouldn't make a difference in the number of divorces.

My advice is to tell you there are good therapists and therapists who well...aren't worth their salt. Get references as to the quality of the therapist. Ask questions of the therapist relating to their credentials. Find out where they got their education, make sure they have at LEAST a master's level degree, find out what their major was. Find out what their area of focus is. If their focus is in working primarily with clients with alcohol and drug addiction or sexual disorders and only occasionally with other types then i would avoid that and try to locate someone who deals primarily with the particular type of issue you need to deal with. It's a lot like test driving different vehicles, if you get a vibe from the first one or two or a feeling that you just don't feel comfortable with them for whatever reason, then listen to that little voice and tell them up front, "hey I just feel like this isn't going to work out". You will know. and if they can't accept that graciously then that should confirm it for you. Remember they are often thinking about the money too.

If you find a really good counselor, it can be a life changing experience, for the better. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

New American Bible. Read Luke Chapter 11 37-54. Denunciation of the Parisees and Scholars of the Law. After he had spoken, a Pharisee invited Him to dine at his home. He entered and reclined at table to eat. "The Pharisee was amazed to see that He did not observe the prescribed washing before the meal. The Lord said to him, "Oh you Pharisees! Although you cleanse the outside of the cup and the dish, inside you are filled with pluder and evil. You fools! Did not the maker of the outside also make the inside? But as to what is within, give alms, and behold, everything will be clean for you. Woe to you Pharisees! You pay tithes of mint and of rue and of every garden herb, but you pay no attention to judgment and to love for God. These you should have done, without overlooking the others. Woe to you Pharisees! You love the seat of honor in synagogues and greetings in marketplaces. Woe to you! You are the unseen graves over which people unknowingly walk. (37-44) Woe to you, scholars of the law! You have taken away the key of knowledge, You yourselves did not enter and you stopped those trying to enter." (52) Read the whole thing though. God Bless..

Answer 4

Actually, I never had counseling after my brother died, and I wish I had because I think it would have helped significantly in dealing with it. However, I'm just gonna say that a minister is NOT a psychiatric professional, so do it if you feel it will help, but don't let him make you feel you HAVE to.

Answer 5

I was having relationship problems and seen a family counselor that based there counseling on the biblical aspects of counseling and it helped me and gave me a good peace of mind, Good Luck and God Bless, the counseling firms name was cord of three, hope it's some help, check yellow pages for christian family counseling or ask the pastor for reference.

Answer 6

I had a very nice, encouraging therapist who helped me through the few months following the end of a very bad relationship. On the other hand, as a teenager I tried going to a therapist and he turned out to be awful. Ask your therapist what his or her approach is before you start, and make sure you are comfortable with it. If s/he is unwilling to answer your questions, that is the #1 sign that you have a bad counselor on your hands.

Answer 7

Find a therapist who will concentrate more on how those bad things with your mom and dad affect your life now. I would not go for a counselor that makes you dredge up the entire past*not healthy!

Answer 8

I have been seeing a counselor. There is no shame in it and it does not mean there is anything wrong with u. I find it is easier than telling someone u know about ur problems. It is good to get things off of ur chest. All u do is go in and say what is on ur mind.... it releives a lot of things, suppressed feelings, anger, guilt, sadness, etc.

Answer 9

Your past demons may affect your marriage. I did not have counselling before marriage and should have so go ahead and your life and marriage should be a happy one. Best of luck.

Answer 10

Surely you are your own person .... you're NOT your Mum or your Dad .... You are You and should be treated as an individual and not be judged y past experiences
Just marry your fiance and find happiness in the realtionship ... if the Minister won't marry you until you dfo this so called evaluation give him the flick and go find one that will
Good Luck and Congratulations :)