A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?"
“He said you're going to die," she replied.
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Shut Up
If my pants aren't at my ankles, don't open your mouth!
(That 1's bad)
2006-11-29 16:17:50 · 10 answers · asked by sk8ter_girl_of07 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A teacher asked her students to use the word
"definitely" properly in a sentence. Lil Susie goes first
and declares "The sky is definitely blue". The teacher
replies "It's cloudy, today Susie ... the sky is actually gray." Bobby goes next by saying
"The grass is definitely green", to which the teacher corrects him "No, Bobby .... it's late autumn and the grass is actually brown." ......
Then Lil Johnny asks a question "Teacher,
Do farts have lumps in them" ? ........
The teacher gives Johnny a very stern look,
and says in firm voice "No Johnny, they don't" ! ........
Lil Johnny replies back "Then I DEFINITELY shitt my pants" !
LOL
2006-11-29 16:32:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
heard the first one, loved absolutely loved the second lmao, hahahaha omg thats so evil, but come on girls u know u want to
2006-11-30 00:25:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The shorty is more funny, lol
2006-11-30 01:15:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lmao
2006-11-30 00:24:47 · answer #4 · answered by Amy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahaha
2006-11-30 01:27:33 · answer #5 · answered by i am the dream u r the dreamer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha funny... good choice to put here.
2006-11-30 00:31:48 · answer #6 · answered by ViCKi!™|` 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG.............. nearly fell of my seat laughing at this so much lol hey thanks for posting that one on this
2006-11-30 00:35:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha!! Loved it!!
2006-11-30 00:37:02 · answer #8 · answered by ηєvєrmorє 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol
2006-11-30 00:19:41 · answer #9 · answered by therichmark 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are great! Thanks!
2006-11-30 00:33:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋