I'm a 39 year old, sucessful guy with a 4-year old daughter and I've been divorced for over a year and dated several women since the divorce. My problem (and I know it might sound crazy or like a joke, but it's not) is that I'm falling in love with a 19 year old woman that is amazingly mature and seems to be falling in love with me as well. She's not in a rebound situation either. We connect on every level. Can this work? I'm not worried about what family and friends will say or think. If they have a problem with our age difference, then it's their problem, not ours. Does anyone know of anyone else this has happened to and had it turn out good? It shouldn't matter, but if it does, we have not had sex yet.
2006-11-29 15:30:32 · 25 answers · asked by ricktheirish1967 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You will hear some say she is too young and she's marrying her father, others will say shes a gold-digger. But few who say those things won't consider she may luckier to have you as a husband than some immature jerk who might mistreat her and make her an incredibly bad husband. On the other hand you could leave a very nice girl who would make you a good wife and be a good mother to your daughter because others think she is too young for you. And they won't consider that you could marry a 39 year old woman who will make your life miserable and mistreat your daughter. I would wait a bit because she is only 19 and not rush things. But if she wants to marry you, you may be the best choice for her. What kinds of gets me are the one who say the noble thing to do would be to leave her because she is only nineteen. As I seem to remember Lacy Peterson's husband was her age. When it comes to love and the decision to marry, character should be the only issue.
2006-11-29 16:05:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think it all depends on how you guys feel about the situation. You seem sincere in wanting things to work, but you also care enough about her to question if you are in the wrong for wanting to be with her because of the age difference. Our society is always going to be objective, we are just the type that will find a way to criticize others. I feel that you guys should be together if you really care about each other and don't let others' ignorance pull you apart. Maturity is the key to your happiness, if this is the level you want to take with her, then go for it. As long as you make each other happy and aren't doing anything to hurt anyone else, then there is not a big issue here. Love is love, that what really matters in the end.
2006-11-29 23:37:23 · answer #2 · answered by pumpk713 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've rewritten this twice, I want to tell you to go for it. But realistically, she is way to young for you. Your relating now, but what about two or ten years from now. You have a child, she is still a child!! You say she's mature, is she ready for a 4 year old daughter and a man who is 20 years older than her? I wish you all the luck in the world, I dated a man that was 18 years older and it didn't work out long. The sex was great and I was so crazy for him, then he wanted to sit at home and watch tv, I wanted to go out with my friends (who were my age) and have fun. We didn't last long. I thought I was mature too, I also thought I was in love and that he was the one. You really have alot to think about...
2006-11-29 23:49:05 · answer #3 · answered by poodlemama1965 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
CONGRATULATIONS! Sincerely. YES it can work.
If your young lady is mature and steadfast, there is no reason you two cannot make a go of it. You will both face some obstacles - ie her parents, your friends, whatever - but if you have found each other for the right reasons, none of it matters.
My good friend Dawn, age 28, fell in love with a man 30 years her senior. She knew that Don (yes, Dawn & Don) would get ill and die long before she did, but their love surpassed that and they have had 12 years and are still going strong.
Go for it! Love is blind... and it can't count, either.
2006-11-29 23:36:00 · answer #4 · answered by Samlet 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you sure your not just on an ego trip. Like, wow, I can still get the young chicks, when I'm old enough to be their dad. I asked my husband what he would think if our 19 year old daughter showed up with a guy pushing 40. He said, and I quote, " I'd want to kill the s.o.b., I would figure he is a pervert." But, Iike you said, your not worried about family and friends.
Can it work, who knows, just remember when your 60 she might start thinking you are a real old guy compared to her.
2006-11-29 23:43:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What's age got to do with it? She is of legal age, right? If she and your daughter have no problems that can not be worked out, go for it. My daughter married a man the age of my husband and they are very happy. there is 19 years difference and 23 years married. Good Luck and Good Love.
2006-11-29 23:39:12 · answer #6 · answered by maude_438 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I know of two situations with less age difference. Me, I was with someone 10 years older which to me was nothing. Long term no it did not work. My friend was with a man 18 years older and no it did not again work long term. For her it was because he was wanting to be home, he ran out of steam before she did. The age difference does matter long term in my opinion. Then others I am sure will tell you otherwise. If someone tells you it does not matter I would compare your personalities and that of this young lady to the person telling you how wonderful it worked for them. Because it will boil down to personality in the long run and what each expects. Good Luck...................
2006-11-29 23:34:44 · answer #7 · answered by chattylady47150 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dear , age is nothing but a number love dont have no count and shes legal but she has not lived yet shes just starting to spread her wings and when they blossom you may be in trouble .bottom line is she dont need to be tied down to one person right now she needs to explore her options as a woman you may be what infatuates her now just to know some very grown man wants to be with her . please if you care give her some grow up time and if this is what god has planned whatever the situation she will be back but if you make love to that child you are wrong because you didnt give her a chance cause you know first experience keeps us there ..would you want a 50 year old to do that to your 18 year old?all im saying is love her to live her life not yours....
2006-11-29 23:42:41 · answer #8 · answered by Darnella C 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hmm, I actually know several people who are happily married where there is a significant age gap. But, 20 years is a long time. See what happens, don't go to fast, and find out all you can before you get in over your head.
Who knows?
2006-11-29 23:34:55 · answer #9 · answered by somewherein72 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
LET ME SEE, YES IT COULD WORK!!
First of all, I will say this, my mother is in her 60's my step father is in his late 40's.
My Aunt is in her 50's and my uncle is in his 40's.
Needless to say, the women in my family look great and appear to like younger men.. lol...
I think you will be fine, as long as God is the center of your lives and you keep him first.
My father is 10 years older than my step mother.
Your Age Difference is Not that bad... come on!
You said yourself, she is amazingly mature. Women mature faster than Men. Its just a proven fact, not my opinion. If your as great a guy as you seem to be, no wonder she is falling in love with you. You are already putting her first and that means alot. And I might add, I think it is very admirable that you have not been intimate with her yet. My husband and I waited till we were married. It is so worth it! It honors her and God. Keep on Keeping ON!!
Hugs and blessings to you and her!
hugs and best to ya!
2006-11-29 23:51:42 · answer #10 · answered by sheheart77 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋