Ok, I am 20, my little cousin is 18.. when we were younger, we both promised that when we get married she will be my maid of honor and I will be her's... Well, we have grown apart a lot, I still talk to her, but we don't get along as well as we used to. I am getting married next year and I feel obligated to my promise.. My family on that side are all about drama and fighting and I just don't want to stir up anything... Am I a bad person for wanting my sister-n-law to be that woman standing next to me?? I'm thinking of skipping the whole tradition and just having all bride's maids.. =)
2006-11-29 15:26:59 · 21 answers · asked by me myself and I 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You have a right to change your plans that were made through the eyes of a young girl years ago. Back then your cousin was someone you most likely were with quite a bit, and you felt kind of like sisters. It is perfectly fine to want your sister-in-law as your matron of honor. Go for it. Ask your cousin to be a bridesmaid if you want to include her in the wedding, and if there is any trouble just tell your family that you wanted to honor your brother and sister-in-law in this way and you are still having your cousin in the wedding. They should respect your wishes as you are the bride and it is your wedding, not theirs. If feelings do get hurt, they need to think of the fact that you were both little girls making promises when things were different, and that now you are rethinking things logically. Even if you did all bridesmaids, there would still be an issue of who is standing where, so don't even bother with that. Enjoy your special time, and do not worry if someone is petty enough to fuss over it. Best wishes!
2006-11-29 15:34:56 · answer #1 · answered by still learning at 56 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Expalin to your cousin this was a promise you made as a child. Thing is, you grew up. If you are that close to your sis inlaw by all means give her the honor of standing by your side at your wedding.
You could ask your cousin to be a bridesmaid or something else in the wedding. And if she & that side of the family want to get their butts up in the air over this, you can have a wedding just the same without them.
This is your day; the day that you will take a man you love to be your husband, for the rest of your life. Don't let ANYONE spoil that.
2006-11-29 15:42:01 · answer #2 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok it doesn't matter if you skip the maid of honor thing. People won't understand that you have all bridesmaids. Plus it won't eliminate any drama if you have you sister in law standing next to you. You cousin will still think that you are considering her your sister in law your MOH. I would just explain to your cousin that you are not as close as you used to be. Therefore she will be the co-maid of honor. Have two of them, just ask you sister in law to stand next to you and explain to you cousin it is because she is older. Just print some programs that state both girls are maid of honors!
2006-11-29 15:32:47 · answer #3 · answered by Blondie98_01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a couple of things here. 1. It is your wedding and you should not have anyone standing up with you that you do not really want. 2. The promise made was between two kids. You two have grown apart. Don't let an old promise or a bickering family ruin your big day.
2006-11-29 16:00:16 · answer #4 · answered by loveseat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't feel obligated to a childhood promise. If you are considering having them both why not make them all bridesmaids. just assign them all jobs there are many to go around. I think as long as you do stuff with them all it doesn't matter. If anyone says anything just mention your cousin represents your past and your sisterin law your future all the imortant parts that have made you who you are and who you will be how could you possibly pick one over the other?( I know sounds corny but, worked for me)
2006-11-29 15:36:48 · answer #5 · answered by emmandal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say that you should do whatever feels right. But you can always make both of them maids of honor if you want to keep your promise. I don't see why your cousin would be mad if you don't keep your promise since you are not as close as you used to be. Good Luck!
2006-11-29 15:55:18 · answer #6 · answered by MISS 84 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to need someone responsible to stand in as your MOH...that being said, an 18 year old doesn't really understnad the duties that go into being a MOH so your sister-in-law is probably a better choice. If anything, just make your cousin a bridesmaid...if she doens't like it, then she'll say no.
2006-11-30 03:40:36 · answer #7 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not bad at all. Then was then and now is now and that means you can have anyone you choose in your wedding party. There will be someone who gets upset no matter how hard you try to avoid it, it is an age old problem. But, let it be THEIR problem and not yours. If you feel you must have this cousin in the wedding my suggestion is to have her be in charge of the guest book. Make it sound like a big deal.
2006-11-29 15:44:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your day and you shouldn't care what people think or say about you and your decisions you make for your wedding day ..
You seem like a nice person so the right thing to do is talk to her and tell her that you both are not as close as you use to be and it's important to have someone that there for you at all times ..
Best of luck to you !
2006-11-29 15:42:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the thing is - you're going to want the people in your wedding party to be the people that are closest to you. The day really is about you celebrating your new life, and don't do something just because you feel obligated you have to. If your sister-in-law is the one you want beside you then that's the way it should be. And your cousing really should understand - if not then you REALLY don't want someone like that as your MOH. They're in charge of really important things - make it who YOU want it to be.
2006-11-29 16:41:01 · answer #10 · answered by silllyfox 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋