should i be judged for being a stay at home mum?

Question

i have a two year old daughter and i feel that staying at home and taking care of her before she goes to school is realy importent, but my boyfriend and other people think i sit on my ass all day. and it realy offends me. what do you think should i put my daughter into daycare and go to work or should i take the oppertunity to stay at home and take care of her while she is still young.

my boyfriend is the father of our daughter and he workes its tight some weeks with money, and i keep the house clean everyday.

Answer 1

I know you do not sit on your ass all day but yes my husband says the same **** you know what i did i quite doing the house work for one day and he came home and know he knows that i do not sit on my ass all day that i acutally do work OH YEAH and did i mentioned that he stayed home with the kids one day while i had to go to school. SO back to the question NO if you want to stay at home and take care of her by all means do it. SHE will learn so much from you while at home. MY son can do so much and he learned alot with me and he knows more then some kids because i tought him while staying at home. YOU need to make your boyfriend do all the things that you do make a day were he does not have to work and make him DO EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO and you do not do a damn thing to help him. MAKE HIM SEE WHAT YOU REALLY DO.
good luck i know how you feel.

Answer 2

You didn't say if you had a source of income, but if you're living with your boyfriend and he is paying the bills, and if this is his daughter, you should do what you think is best for your child. I used to be a television reporter, and I'm now an at-home Mom in New Orleans with a sewing business. Staying at home was also very important to me because I grew up as a latch-key child. Both my parents had to work, and since I was the oldest I had a lot of responsibility at a young age. I am married to someone who makes a good salary and although it's sometimes tight because college is just around the corner for our oldest, I wouldn't trade my time at home with my girls for anything. I also don't know what your skills are, but keep in mind, if you can only take a low paying job, by the time you pay the expenses of going out to work, such as child care, work clothes, lunches, etc, you really won't be making much money. As for being offended by others, I found that even though I was working at home, people acted like I was also sitting around doing nothing. First you have to be completely comfortable with what you're doing, and the next time someone accuses you of being lazy, tell them you think raising a decent human being is worth the effort.

Answer 3

I was once in your shoes, but now I am a stay at home mother of three children. I've also been a working mother and a working single mom as well. My experience has been that now that I am married my husband doesn't have a problem with me not working but rather what I do while I am home with the children. He never seems to bring up my lack of income except when he comes home to a messy kitchen, no clean laundry, dinner not available and plenty of things I should have done or said I would that he feels he needs to take care of. So, I try to make sure that the house is clean and the kids taken care of so that my husband doesn't have any resentment about the fact that he works hard so I can stay home and then he doesn't perceive me to be sitting on my ass all day. Does this ring any bells?

Answer 4

Children that are raised by a parent (SAHM) for at least the first 5 years are usually so much better off in life. I am lucky, my husband let me quit my job and is now going to get a part time 2nd job to help with bills. We both have researched and understand the importance of staying at home and taking care of your child. No one will love and take care of your kids the way you do. As for returning the thanks to my husband for this privilege, he has hot meals to come home to every night, a semi-clean home (we do have a 2 year old), and me whenever. You need to do whatever it takes, do the research, talk to counselors, anything to convince your boyfriend that you staying home is the right thing. That is your job as a nurturer and his job as a provider is to make sure there is food on the table.

Answer 5

Your "Boyfriend?" Sweet guy. Dump him. Staying home with your daugher is a MAJOR investment. You've probably seen it a million times, Mom drops the little one off at daycare and the little one starts to cry and carry on. There's a message here. A lot of people will tell you that it's just separation anxiety and that the child will quickly get over it. And, this is true. But how great would it be to not have to get over it because you never had to go through it?
Look, my wife left me a little over a year after I came back from the war. She was given full custody of our son and within four short months, had abandoned him. It took me three long years to get him back. He was one when that happened. Life was not kind to either him or me. You have opportunity to be there with her. Take it and cherish it.
And, as for your boyfriend... Just sitting on your hind end? He REALLY is clueless. Isn't he? Either have him spend a couple of days with you to see for himself, or just kick his silly butt to the curb. Support like that you don't need.

Answer 6

No, you shouldn't be judged for being a stay at home mom. You miss out on so much when you leave your babies to grow up in a day care. But most moms don't have that choice. If you can afford to stay at home, then do it and don't feel guilty. You won't regret it. You can get a job when your children are in school.

Answer 7

I think it is wonderful that you get to stay at home with your daughter. I think you are so lucky to get this chance to be a huge part of your daughter's life. She will be off to school soon enough and there will be plenty of time for you to work then. If you want to stay home and you can afford it, I think you should do it and ignore what others say you should do. My mother was a stay at home mom and I think that made us even closer.

Answer 8

Stay at home moms are awesome! My mom raised me and my two siblings as a stay-at-home mom and I can't imagine what life would have been like had she been out working.

Don't let ANYONE tell you that wanting to raise your daughter instead of giving her over to other people to raise, is wrong. It means you are a dedicated mother who cares for her.

As for sitting on your as.s, are you??? If not, you have nothing to worry about. People will see the proof through your daughter as she grows.

Answer 9

In today's world people put their kids in school so that they can work. You; however, have your own reasons for doing what you're doing.
What do you want to do stay at home and take care of her? If the answer is yes take her out of preschool stay home with her for the next two to three years until she goes to kindergarten, or do you want to work while she is in preschool? If the answer is yes, find a part-time job that works according to your schedule, and talk with your bf about it in terms like can he watch her, let's say that you won't make it in time to pick her up on any certain day.

Answer 10

Be with your daughter. Anyone worth their salt will realize that is doesn't make any sense to pay someone else to raise your child. What you do is a real job. Especially if you are doing all the housework while tending your daughter. The first 3 years are monumentally important to the formation of a child's personality and emotional development. It's better for someone who really loves them to be there shaping the person they will become.