What is a good way to handle and control anxiety.?

Question

I am under a lot of stress and just need to relax, most times I handle it well other times I cry alot and feel vunerable. I am going to be moving 2500 miles away from home and I am going to miss my mom and my sister who have been a sense of security to me.
What is a good healthy way just to rest and be in the moment and not worry so much, what is a healthy way to let go of my family?
My sister Got married and I miss her a lot and wish I could talk to her and see her more often, but now she has her own life. Lots of changes, is this normal to feel this way?

Answer 1

whew! Changes indeed!

You are very conscious of your attachment (a good thing) to your mother and sister, and grieving that upcoming loss. 2500 miles is a longgggggggg distance, girl! Be gentle and understanding with yourself as you no doubt are with others (I can tell..hahaha).

These are some ways that I can think of that might be helpful in making the transition to "the great big world out there":

(1)Journal. Writing down how you feel (a blog can work as well) is a good way to clarify emotions and to validate them for yourself, such as you have done by asking the question here. Wow. Very mature.

(2) Letter-writing and emailing always filled in the gaps for me and my family as we did these kinds of transitions. I never felt that my son was emailing too much when he lived in Southeast Asia... I don't think you will get that sort of complaint from your mom or sister. Maybe don't expect them to respond as much as you do... it depends on how busy their lives are and what their point of view is... maybe they want you to be "toughened up". hmm.

(3)Take care of you. What do you do-- what have you done in the past-- that is really soothing and self-loving? A warm soak in lavender before bed? Devotional time? Music? Exercises that you prefer (that you will carry through with); Eating fresh, ripe, organic fruits and veggies every day; getting outside in the fresh air and sunshine as much as possible; giving up the stuff that you know is really nasty for you: transfats, sweets, dairy-- whatever you have discovered doesn't work for your body.

(4)Make friends. Find people your own age to hang out with, but also look for 'mentor' type folks who can continue to guide you in the way that your Mom has... I remember being a little...hmm... jealous when I first learned that many of our sons' friends were older women, but then I got feedback from the women about how kind and thoughtful, etc., our sons were and I realized that it was natural that they would seek out people who would encourage that in them as well. Read autobiographies about people who went from incredible struggles to incredible successes in their lives... these are also mentors for us as we transition.

(4)Celebrate everyday. This is going to be the time in your life that you will feed from when you get together with your pals thirty years from now (I did that this summer in Vancouver with some of my old College pals... there is nothing quite like it). End of the day is a good time to list all the 'gratitudes'-- everything that you are thankful for during the day.

(5)"BSFF" is a fast and effective method for dealing with stress, and was developed by a Christian psychologist so is not as difficult to reconcile with one's beliefs as some of the other alternative methods of dealing with anxiety might be. You can order the e-book by going to http://tinyurl.com/ychl3z or by coming to my Yahoo! site at http://ca.groups.yahoo.com/group/My_Monday_Miracles/

Enjoy this day!

God bless!

HealthiaCynthia
Certified Comprehensive Coach
Moderator for brand-new Yahoo! Group
http://ca.groups.yahoo.com/group/My_Monday_Miracles/

Answer 2

depends how bad it is. Some anxiety is normal and helps you to perform well. Some actors have some degree of stage fright their entire live - and they still are happy to stay actors. If it is not too bad, it actually helps to expose yourself to the situation repeatedly. If you are afraid of an audience play theater, or for a easier challenge sing in a choir or anything where you are in the spotlight with a number of other people so it's not only you. You get used to it. Also practicing the situation with friends helps a lot. Like if you have to give a talk or take an exam, if you know you are really well prepared you are obviously going to feel much less stressed than if you know you did nothing. If it is too bad so you cannot get yourself to practice or overcome the situation, see some counselor. Behavioral theapy may work. If its bad the person may also have to take some medication, but that obviously has to be decided by a doctor.

Answer 3

The easiest answer is RELAX. The wedding and everything after will be fine. Remember that as long as you and your groom say I do, the rest is just icing on the cake...it really doesn't matter. You and your guy are committing yourselves to each other...the rest is unimportant. As far as leaving your family goes...that's a little harder, but just remember, you've got your biggest fan and a full partner in life with you - your husband. He'll support you. Plus, there's always emails, phone calls, and then these really cool inventions called planes for when you really miss them. Shoot, you can still talk to them every day. So don't worry. Everything will be fine.

Oh, and I hear exercise is a great stress reliever and because of the endorphin release you'll be in better spirits...

Answer 4

Changes are always hard for anybody. However, perhaps you can see it as an opportunity for you to make new friends, be independent, explore new things and anticipate an exciting road ahead of you. By doing so, you will not dread the unknown future and thus, can't bear to let go of your current attachment with your love ones. Always tell yourself that the change is a new chapter of your life and there are many good things awaiting you to venture into . Of course, you can still keep in touch with your sis & mom via phone, internet , emails. It's not a problem, technology is very advanced nowadays. Best Wshes !!!!

Answer 5

Your doctor can help you. I finaly had to go myself. I thought it was something I could learn to control but it just dosent work. Its something you inherit. The med. is not expensive and it just makes the anxiety go away. You sound like a very nice person . I hate to see any one having to go through it. Some people dont like to go to the doctor for something like this but sometimes it is the only solution. Good luck.

Answer 6

I experienced the same thing. I had to move only 870 miles away from my family though. It is hard. I went to the doctor and he has me on medication to help with the anxiety. So far so good!

Answer 7

actually i recommend a yoga class as the best way to learn to deal with changes and loss in your life and still be able to be happy on your own.

Answer 8

YOU CAN STILL TALK TO YOUR SIS ON THE PH. OR NET. JUST TALK THIS OUT WITH HER. SHE'S ALREADY GONE THROUGH IT, SHE'LL BE ABLE TO HELP YOU A LOT. THINGS WILL WORK OUT FOR YOU.