I am just so depressed. I need to talk to someone who can relate to me. I love God but I have backslide.?

Question

I really feel like I'm being tortured.

Answer 1

that is the enemy trying to get you discourged dont listen to him pick up the bible and start reading..Know that God thinks of you like a special star and loves you so much..

Answer 2

Dear Button21:

"The silence of God has been, at all times, a great trial to mankind." W. R. Inge

"We cannot distinguish between advance and retreat. Some of our greatest advances we have judged as failures, and some of our deepest retreats [backsliding] we have evaluated as success." This is due to the Intellect and our Soul seeing things from different perspectives.

Further, the meaning of the above is that in religious/spiritual life our advances sometimes frighten us as we move closer to the "light." This causes a retreat or "backslide." We then feel like a failure. On the other hand, sometimes we feel we are sliding backward, but it is just the beginning of a new level and the trip backward will make us advance forward, shortly. The moments of reaching new spiritual levels can be very painful and upsetting. We feel, temporarily, that we are in no-man's land. We may experience feeling upside down because of the new enlightenment we are taking into ourselves. The integrating of what we can now "see," disrupts the old patterns of thinking and acting, and we feel what is now expected of us is - something we might not be able to do. This causes anger and depression.

That is how it is for people who are involved in strong spiritual study, and are moving upward from one rung of the ladder to the next.

I don't know, Button, if you are experiencing THAT , or you're mentally depressed because your religious/spiritual life is NOT alive enough. Along with Bible reading, it is good sometimes to read other spiritual books "on the side." It stops the redundancy of the same bible stories and parables and feelings of stagnation. We need to keep the Spirit alive. If we are no longer moving forward, and feeling stagnant - we need to add some pizzaz to our study of "The Word."

Lastly, sometimes we reach a level of growth where we see what is needed from us. We begin TRYING to alter our patterns only to find out that we cannot get very far and eventually are slipping back into old, comfortable ways. Then we are disgusted with ourselves. But, of ourselves, we can do nothing. Jesus and the Holy Spirit literally pick us up and push us forward when we are ready. It should be effortless for us. They require nothing of us but Willing-ness. The steps are: To think upon what we have read - as often during each day as we have time to. No efforting to change or alter anything. Just thinking upon it. Show Willingness to think in a new way through the process of creating a new habit (a new way of "seeing things"). This requires some discipline of mind. Just keep thinking of the new way of "seeing" what your studies are showing you. In a short while, Jesus and the Holy Spirit see your Willingness and desire to implement new thought. Suddenly, you will find yourself responding to situations in that new way. It has become integrated into your personality because you simply kept thinking upon, and looking at, the new way of "seeing." Jesus and the Holy Spirit then "move you forward." Of yourself you can do nothing - through Them all is achieved. They decide WHEN you will go forward ! For us, little effort is involved, at all!

Torture, is knowing something different from how we are acting presently, but can't seem to make any change. Having the new wisdom in our mind, but not being able to act from it - is indeed a torturous experience. We can literally "hate" ourselves. Try following the steps shown above.

Two books that can put some "spunk" into your studies are: "The Seat of the Soul" by Gary Zukov. At Libraries and possibly still in bookstores. The Library Journal called it "Remarkable. . ." Also, "A Course in Miracles." At Libraries or can be sold to you by the Publisher, directly, at: 1-415/ 388-2060 in California. This book moves you into a close relationship with Jesus and the Holy Spirit. You can feel their Presence in it.

P.S. Today is 11/30/06. I have come back into this because I suddenly thought it might be possible that you are speaking of an addiction that you slid back into, even though you are putting God into your life. IF that is so, I wish to tell you that the above two books will give you direct gains in that area. "Seat of the Soul" has one section for addictions. "A Course in Miracles" teaches of the human mind's dynamics, etc. Again,

Sincerely, Lana

Answer 3

maybe it means that you are not fully dedicating yourself to him and you might need to redicate your life. try talking to your pastor
hope this helps

Answer 4

e-mail me because I know how you're feeling and I can help you.

Answer 5

we fall down but we get up, pray, don't give up