I just lost my children's father. He was murdred. I can't stop thinking about him. Every since I found out I've been crying eveyday. We broke up but he started coming around from time to time. I told him I couldn't be with him because I refused to have my heart broken again. But I wanted us to be friends for the kids sake. I really don't get along with his mom or sister. Since he have a new baby with another girl, they show favortism to his 5 month old son and his 7 year old daughter, not our twin sons that are 5 years old. It really hurts my feelings because his mom and sister really get along with his new baby momma. Knowing that he's dead hurts so bad. He was my frist love. How can I cope with this and how many of you have a similar story?
2006-11-29 13:59:28 · 8 answers · asked by B.A.P.S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't have a similiar story to be honest with you.
How do you cope with this?
That is neither here nor there, because through out my life I have seen grief and have known those who have lost loved ones.
It is a pain that is hard to describe.
Perhaps I can ease the pain, at least I hope I can.
Just remember that God will not give you what you cannot handle.
Do not blame yourself for what happened. How were you to know that he was going to be murdered? You didn't.
I believe there is a season for everything.
A season for mourning because you have lost someone so dear.
A season for sorrow, where you can feel rightfully sad, and believe it or not this sadness can also help you to heal; how you go about it is up to you.
After the mourning and sadness have gone, how long that will take is up to you; there is the season of joy where you rejoice in the love that you had for him.
It takes time and it never happens over night.
I would like to advise that if things really get to be too bad talk to someone that you trust, and never mind his family, they're just the way the are, and don't take it upon yourself. You take care of those two boys, shower them with kisses and hugs.
Also talk about him to his sons, and praise him while you are doing it. Make him a shining light in their eyes no matter his past mistakes.
2006-11-29 14:26:42 · answer #1 · answered by Laela (Layla) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He lives on through the precious gift he gave you, those 2 little boys. I am so sorry for your loss. Time has a way of helping with these things, just remember the good times. Tell your boys stories about their Dad, and remember he will always be in your hearts. Don't worry about the relatives, they do not know what they are missing out on. You could try to tell them that it hurts you, but people that are small minded enough to play those games, do not seem to learn. Be the bigger person, put on a happy face, and teach those boys all of the good things in life. You have to go on, for them.
2006-11-29 22:11:52 · answer #2 · answered by Smilingcheek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have never been through this kind of thing before. but i would still like to tell you what i think.it will take a very long time for you to get over his death. but in time you will.as far as the Gram and sister and the way they treat your kids compared to the other children. don't worry about them, do what you need to do for your children and your self. look at it this way its their loss,that they don't treat them the same. don't make it your loss.please no matter what you think or how you feel about how they act never ever talk bad about them to your children or around them.be the better person and show these people that you nor your kids need them.all you need is each other.
2006-11-29 22:36:36 · answer #3 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it come and go, but never forget it. It's something you should remember, because it makes you who you are. It teaches you. Don't blame yourself though. You probably hear it all the time, that "it's not your fault," but guess what, it's true! It isn't your fault. Here's a tip: smile! Smile and laugh a little. Don't think about it too much. The closest I have had was losing a pet hamster, but any close death is the same and hurts just as much.
2006-11-29 22:04:23 · answer #4 · answered by Wingedhamham 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss.
I think you would really benefit from grief counselling. If you check your local paper, you should be able to find it offered free of charge. Talking to someone who will listen to you and let you go through all of the stages of grief can help you to move on. The fact that you had already broken up with him doesn't minimize the pain or what you have to go through when he is gone.
2006-11-29 22:14:36 · answer #5 · answered by Canadian_mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to a professional and all your friends, family, church leader
2006-11-29 22:04:04 · answer #6 · answered by Cristine D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a soap opera
2006-11-29 22:03:06 · answer #7 · answered by colberthelper 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him
2006-11-29 22:26:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋