my sister dropes my 3 month old nephew off six weeks ago. she has only called or came by once. i need some kind of advice on what to do about custody. i think she would let me have him. the dad is not on the birth certificate tho, i know who he is. he has came by twice. he said in a year or so he should be able to take the baby. if it was sooner ok. i get more and more attached everyday, i can't see loosing him after a year. does he have any leagaal rights? do i ? how do i get some? please help me, io love him and his mom is a crack head and his dad is a ding bat. i want him to be safe and loved. how can i keep him?
2006-11-29 13:58:03 · 9 answers · asked by Brandi B 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
At the beginning of the question I was wondering where your sister has been for six weeks, perhaps in the hospital or out of the country for some emergency. But then you say that she is a crack addict, and the 'father' has been by twice, well, I think you have just adopted a new baby.
You have to get a lawyer or go to legal aid tomorrow. If there is no intervention, then your sister could just pop back in and take the baby, then you'd be very sorry, because you know as well as we do, your sister is incapable of taking care of her child. Therefore, you need to do all this TOMORROW. I am sure you can get temporary custody until any court hearing, of which I think your sister and the father would probably miss anyway.
But has anyone told you how great of a person you are for doing this? You are giving this child a good life and you should be commended. You will not lose him if you voice your concerns to the lawyer and a judge. Good luck and God bless you.
2006-11-29 14:14:00 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not necessarily need the approval of the baby's father. The first thing you need to find out: Is the father on the baby's birth certificate? If he is, then that is hurdle number one. Second thing: Does the child have his last name? If so, believe it or not that is also a hurdle.
If you want this child and the child's mother agrees, she can turn the child over to you perfectly legally in most states without the father's consent. Granted, this requires bending a few rules, but it CAN BE DONE.
If she is young, and he is careless, odds are he will stop showing up after a while anyway. It is selfish and absolutely cruel to tell you that he can take his baby "in a year". Its now or nothing. I highly recommend dropping that child off with him for a weekend and then showing up with papers that request him to sign over his rights.
You also have to consider (and I'm sure you already have) are you willing to take on the responsibility of a child that is not yours? Please don't feel like if you don't take him his life will be hell--that doesn't have to be true. Your sister can always find a nice couple who wants a baby (as trite as that sounds). Your life is yours to live....not to spend paying for your sister's irresponsibility. Best of luck.
2006-11-29 22:06:34 · answer #2 · answered by A.R. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get an attorney fast. BUT, don't just go for custody, go for adoption, because even though you might get full custody, one day your sister may straighten up & fight you for custody of her own baby....it's been done!!
You do need to fill out the emergancy / temp. custody papers & apply for any other help that you can document. Sometimes CWS (Children, Welfare Services) will seek out other family members or even a Foster Home until your papers for such reach the courts.
Call an attorney 1st thing in the morning before you head out & get the best legal advice they have!! Make yourself very clear that you want to adopt this precious gift & not just seek custody.
Best wishes & Bless you for your kind nature!
2006-11-29 23:03:30 · answer #3 · answered by yu247365 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't afford a lawyer at this time - go to the clerk of the court and ask for emergency custodial rights papers to file. THEN go for an attorney. There are also Legal assistants, or even child protection services who can help you.
Be prepared to alienate your sister and the father. If you can get any documentation on their drug abuse that will certainly help.
Best of luck - you're doing the right thing for the child.
2006-11-29 22:13:13 · answer #4 · answered by Dez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would file for custody on abandonment of child. You may want to see a lawyer. But fight for custody before they do. My friend just lost her niece who she has been taking care of since she was 6 months old to her crack head sister. The child is now 5 years old. She is going through hell right now, but you can prevent this if you file for custody first. So do it as soon as you can. I understand I have two children myself but when the parents are only thinking of themselves they don't really care about the babies feelings or child's feelings.
2006-11-29 22:03:12 · answer #5 · answered by Miss Vira 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even though the father is not on the birth certificate he does have a right to his child. talk to a lawyer. it appears your sister abandoned the child. i would fight for custody from your sister and the father because they can't just decide when it's the best time for them to be parents. do what is best for the child - seek full custody.
good luck!
2006-11-29 22:03:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has legal rights but you don't (unfortunately). You should contact social services for help in setting up a custody arrangement. You will HAVE to get his approval.
2006-11-29 22:00:31 · answer #7 · answered by iampatsajak 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consult a lawyer.
2006-11-29 22:00:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET A LAYER
2006-11-29 22:00:53 · answer #9 · answered by Amy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋