After your parents die, does anyone really (I mean really) care?

Question

My mother is dying. I think she may have another couple of weeks, but not much more than that. My father was just diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer and may only have 6 months or so. I'm 39 and single. Just wondering... does anyone really care about you other than your mother and father? They would give anything - everything - to help. They would rush to your side if you needed help. They would cry when you were hurt. They would sacrifice gladly to benefit you. When they die, does anyone else even come close?

There are cousins and second cousins, but I'm not close with any of them. In fact, I would not even recognize most of them if they were standing in front of me. I have two sisters, but one has her own family and the other is aloof. I have close friends, but I know even friends have limits (unlike parents). My friends would not ultimately put my interests above their own. I think I am coming to realize that after my parents die, I will truly come to see how cruel and uncaring the world really is. And the horrible part will be that no one will ever care that much again. I am inclined to take my money and move somewhere I can just be alone for the rest of my life. Like buy 1000 acres in th Carolinas or something.

Answer 1

I am so, so sorry. When I finished reading this, I couldn't help but to cry. I hurt so badly for you. I do cannot imagine how painful and difficult it must be to go through everything you are at the present time.
However, to answer your question, yes! Yes, I am sure someone as sensitive and beautiful as you will find a most wonderful partner that will love, cherish, and care for you the way you deserve! To be realistic, there are a number of people out there are incapable of loving others the way they should (hey, they can't even love themselves, so how can we expect them to move beyond that!), but, there are a number of people to balance those sorry individuals, such as the wonderful people like you!
I hope that you are able to enjoy as much healthy time with your parents as possible. Please do not listen to the guy above, not all doctors are bad (I'm on my way to being a surgeon), and I hope with all my heart that your doctors are taking the best care of your parents as humanly possible and keeping them as comfortable as they can.
I will keep you and your family in my heart and thoughts.
Thank you for being courageous enough to reach out and share!!!!!
If you need to talk, vent, anything, please email me anytime at [e-mail]. My name is Sarah and I am always available to lend an ear, shoulder, and a heart.
I am so sorry

Answer 2

The hard, brutal truth is that no one cares about you the way your mother and father does (at least this is my opinion). I have three brothers, but there is absolutely no comparison between them and the love my parents gave me.

I also have friends, but again the same thing, no comparison. Even a close friend does not love and care about you in the same way.

I never married so I don't know if a spouse can love you as well as a parent can. Perhaps, that is possible. I hope so.

My advice to you is to spend as much time as possible with your parents. After they pass on, you will spend a lot of time mourning them and you will never forget them.

Then you must build your life. Even though no one can replace your parents, try to make close and good friends. Also, perhaps, you may decide that you want to marry and make that a priority in your life - to find love and have a partner in your life.

I understand your feelings completely because that is how I felt when I lost both my parents to illness (cancer and heart disease).

Take care and all the best.

Answer 3

Unless you often have dreams that come true, I would not worry about it. Are you at a stage in your life where you are "moving away" from your parents? You don't mention your age, but any drastic change in your life, such as starting high school, college, etc. can be exciting & 'wonderful", but can also mean some increased independence on your part. It's always comforting to have our parents around, even when they make you crazy, because they represent safety. I know that even some small changes can register in your psyche as a step towards being independent, and while that's what life is all about, it can still be very scarey. Don't spend time on the dream--you might go give your folks a hug & tell them what they mean to you. (I wish I had mine with me so that I could do the same. Do it while you still have them.)

Answer 4

I just lost my dad a week ago and although my mother is still healthy ( thank god), I kind of know what you are going through. I am not trying to be one of those people that act like they know what you are going through because I am not that person. Trust me you will hear alot of different things. I just want to tell you that there are people out there that do care. You can tell who they are because they are the ones that are always there, they are not the glory hogs that jump in after everything has happened. They are there during every aspect of what you are going through. Also I could not have made it without my brothers and sister. No, we don't always get along, but we are blood and no matter what we are in it together. My suggestion for you is to get closer to your sisters and even though they might have new families you are still THE FAMILY. new is silver old is gold. Keep your head up and remember with God all things are possible.

Answer 5

Not in my experience, depends on your life have seen spouses that care that much but not the norm. I am ironically in similar position. I can't say I had any support at work or else where. Most people aren't that close to their parents so they really don't understand, I don't think you can until you go through it. You have my sincere condolences and I really mean that. I hope you have a few good friends around you because there are people out there who are waiting to take advantage you and your grief.

Answer 6

I am so, so sorry. When I finished reading this, I couldn't help but to cry. I hurt so badly for you. I do cannot imagine how painful and difficult it must be to go through everything you are at the present time.
However, to answer your question, yes! Yes, I am sure someone as sensitive and beautiful as you will find a most wonderful partner that will love, cherish, and care for you the way you deserve! To be realistic, there are a number of people out there are incapable of loving others the way they should (hey, they can't even love themselves, so how can we expect them to move beyond that!), but, there are a number of people to balance those sorry individuals, such as the wonderful people like you!
I hope that you are able to enjoy as much healthy time with your parents as possible. Please do not listen to the guy above, not all doctors are bad (I'm on my way to being a surgeon), and I hope with all my heart that your doctors are taking the best care of your parents as humanly possible and keeping them as comfortable as they can.
I will keep you and your family in my heart and thoughts.
Thank you for being courageous enough to reach out and share!!!!!
If you need to talk, vent, anything, please email me anytime at [e-mail]. My name is Sarah and I am always available to lend an ear, shoulder, and a heart.
I am so sorry

Answer 7

I would like to think that a spouse would truly care if you have one or you will eventually have someone who will. But I don't think anyone cares like a mother cares about her child(ren). It is almost instinct I think. sorry to hear what u are going through, most of us have to experience this loss, it is just part of life, just as bringing someone into the world,we have to let them go when it is time and when it is our time to step up we know our parents went through it, we will go through it and so will our children, their children, etc. Take care.

Answer 8

your parents are your parents of course they care about you. i guess it depends on your friends and family. i believe that most of my family would sacrifice a great deal for me, even give their life. i would do the same as well. sometimes people form bonds like that with some friends, i don't have any friends that i would treat like family... but some people do.

i'm sorry for your loss try to make the most of this time. treasure it.

Answer 9

Not for me. I was an only child and although I have a lot of aunts, uncles and cousins, no one cares about me because of poltitics and would never call in years and years unless I called them. I'm all alone in this world. And I'm single.

I assure you that people most people don't care if you're dead or alive, and that includes doctors, who only care about your money.

Answer 10

Friends, even ones that you haven't talked to in years, they'll be there for you when you really need them.

This is also a perk of having a significant other in your life.

I'm very sorry for what you're going through, please spend as much time with your parents as you can, you'll never regret the time you spent together but you may the time you didn't.