What is a good joke??

Question

Which ever one I laugh most at, will get my 10 points...

I've got a dry sense of humor, and a wet one!

Answer 1

Magic Beer

A blond lady walks into a bar and sees a really good-looking guy sitting at the bar by himself. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking.

"Magic Beer," he says.

She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after realizing that there is no one else worth talking to, goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says, "That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?"


"Yes, I'll show you."

He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times and comes back in the window.

The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again."

He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window.

She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having."

She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies.

The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real ar$e-hole when you're drunk."

Answer 2

This guy goes into a bar after a promotion to celebrate with his buddies. Aftr a few drinks he notices, behind the bar, a big jar stuffed with $50 bills, so he asks the bartender about it.

The bartender replies, "Oh that's just a running bet we have here. You gotta pay $50 into the pot and if you complete 3 tasks, you win the whole jar. As you can see, no one has ever won."

After a few more beers and 2 shots of Tequila, the man announces in a slightly tipsy voice, "Screw it, I just got a raise. I can afford to lose $50!" and he slams a $50 on the bar. "OK. What do I gotta do?"

"Well," says the bartender "like I said, there are 3 tasks. First you gotta finish a whole bottle of our homemade 200 proof Fire Water, after that you gotta help my pit bull tied up out back. He's got a sore tooth and you have to go pull it out for him. If you survive THAT, you have to go upstairs and pursuade the landlady upstairs to have sex with you. She's a virgin and she's 106 years old. Raping her is obviously out of the question."

"Fair enough" said the half-drunk man. The alcohol coursing through his veins had emboldened him. "Gimme that Fire Water!" And lo and behold, he managed, to everyone's shock to finish the whole bottle without pause.

Barely able to keep the contents of his stomach down, he was turned and nudged, by the astonished bartender in the direction of the back door, where the dog was tied up outside. The man stumbled drunkenly through the door and bravely slammed it closed behind him. A fierce barking, accompanied by breaking glass, garbage cans smashing, yelling and groaning erupted outside. After a minute or so of this racket, a loud dog yelp, followed by it's whining was heard.

Shortly afterwards, the man stumbled back through the door, his clothes torn, blood dripping from multiple bite wounds and looking like he'd been hit by a truck.

Then demanded in a drunken slurred voice, "OK. NOW WHERE'S THAT OLD LADY WITH THE SORE TOOTH?!!"

Answer 3

Doctors are checking the vital signs on a lady in a coma. When they are getting close to her vaginal area the doctors notice the woman's vital signs improve. The doctors then ask the patients husband if he would consider and experiment. The doctors suggest that he try oral sex with his wife in order to see if her condition improves. The doctors leave the room and monitor the comatose woman's vital signs from another room. While doing this the woman dies. The doctors come rushing back into the room and ask the husband what happened. The husband replies '' I don't know, I think she choked''

Answer 4

A white guy, a black guy, and an Iraqi were on a plane flying to South America. The pilot is looking at his gauges and says,
"Hey you guys, we have already dumped all of the luggage and we still seem to be a little heavy. One of you is going to have to jump out of the plane. I can't jump since I am the pilot, so I will ask each of you a question, if you cannot answer it...you have to jump."
The three men agreed and so he asked the white guy a question.
"What is the famous ship that sank in the North Atlantic?"
"The Titanic," replie the white guy. "Correct," says the pilot and turns to the black man, "next question. How many people died on the Titanic?" The black man said, "About 1,500." "Correct," and then turns the Iraqi and asks,
"Ok...what were their names?"

Answer 5

3 guys are stranded on an island with a canibal ad the canibal says,"go get 10 of 1 fruit and bring it here" so the first guy comes with apples and the canibal says put all of them up your a*s so after he tries to put the second one up he starts to look like he's constpated so he gets eaten the 2nd guy comes and has blueberrys so he thinks it'll be a piece of cake but when he's at the 9th one he starts to crack up so he dies in haven he meets the first guy and he asks,"why did you start laughing you were almost there?"he said that he saw the 3rd guy with pineapples!

Answer 6

A cab driver picks up a nun and on the way to the destination, he is a little upset.
The nun says "What's wrong my son?"
He says"I've always wanted a kiss from a nun"
The nun says "Well, you have to apply to two things. You have to be single and catholic"
The driver says"Great! I apply to both!"
The nun says"Well pull over my son, and I'll kiss you"
The driver gets excited and pulls over in an alley. The nun gives him a long wet kiss and they get back in the cab. On the way, the driver breaks down in tears.
The nun says "Whats wrong, my son?"
The driver says"Oh nun, I have sinned. I lied. Im married and Jewish"
The nun says"Thats ok. I lied too. My name is Kevin and Im on the way to a costume party."

Answer 7

This guy went to a tatoo parlor to get a tatoo, OK? The tatoo guy asked the guy who wanted the tatoo what tatoo he wanted, OK? The guy wanting the tatoo said he wanted a tatoo of $100 bill tatooed on his dick. The tatoo artist asked him why on earth would he want a tatoo of $100 bill tatooed on his dick. The guy wanting the tatoo answered this way. Well its like this - I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow and my girlfriend likes to blow my money. the end

Answer 8

Once there was a liitle boy in church. He had to go to the bathroom so he told his mother, ''Mommy, I have to piss.''
The mother said, ''Son don't say piss in church. Next time you have to piss, say, 'whisper' because it is more polite.

The next Sunday, the litle boy was sitting by his father this time, and once again, he had to go to the bathroom.

He told his father, ''Daddy I have to whisper.''

The father said, ''OK. Here, whisper in my ear.''

Answer 9

How do Germans tie thier shoes?

In Nazis!

Answer 10

whats black,white,and red all over................................. a nun in a blender!LOL!