I only did try one cigarette why were parents so mad?

Question

I am girl who is 12 year old in 7th grade. I was with two of my friends and one of them had cigarettes she take from her mother and we all three did try one. I thought was icky and felt little sick after and made me to cough so i said i not do it again. My one friends sister found out about it and tell on us all three and my parents got phone call from hers and they were super mad at me I tried explain i just tried them because friends did and i didnt like it and would not do again but still they not listen and i got a spanking very hard!! Also my two friends i miss very much because i am not allowed play with them again!! How i make parents change mind?? Was that fair since i said what happen and said i never do again?

I really miss my two best friends at school!! Help please!!!!

Answer 1

Seems a bit drastic for kids will experiment esp with what they see parents doing-like smoking for its how I got started but stopped. Cigarettes - the Nicotine -is addictive,get very sick,have withdrawals and give cancer-probably why your parents were so harsh in the punishment. I would kind of cool it and be a very good kid who does extras for your parents -do little things that you know they like help set table,wash dishes without being asked to.when told to do somthing do it right away and so on-the thing is impress and get back into their favor then in a couple of weeks casually say you saw .-approach parents separately to feel each one out-if they are deadset against you being with your friends they will again tell you ( never is not always never) and if no remark or negative reaction then ask if Ok you sat with them at lunch at school and then take it from there.Realize several weeks is a long time but could just be a week or two-you know your parents best BUT its always a good idea to let parents cool off and put some time between what happened and your request to see friends again. If parents wonder at why you are being so nice and helpful tell them that you are really sorry that you disappointed them and are showing how sorry you are. If they really insist you never see the two friends then talk to your school counselor and in writing make a case for yourself-why your parents should trust you-list all your nice qualities and all the ways in which you have been a obedient child----from your school counselor get name of a book in the school library that tells of pre- teens experimenting (but NOT continuing as in your case) is NORMAL and does Not make you untrustworthy forever-also talk with the 2 friends parents to confirm that they 2 never smoked again and would they be willing to tell your parents that if necessary-for your parnts also need to know that your two friends are not the type that will break rules etc and would not attempt to influence you into doing bad stuff. Sorry you got a hard spanking most parents do not do that anymore but try to discipline-give consequences and not punish like spanking. Perhaps your parents did overreact but keep in mind only because they love you Use the book to show parents its not just you talking-copy those pageas that say normal and does not mean the child is bad. Good Luck

Answer 2

Cigarettes are not something to mess around with. I did the same t hing at 13 , but my parents never found out. I thought it was disgusting. Then I did it again at 16 and started smoking all of the time. I now dont smoke anymore ever, but I smoked for 10 years..Bad enough.It can be addictive and if your friends can persuade you to do it, what makes you think you wont try it again one day, even if you thought it was gross. I would be very upset if my kids did that too. You know I had a friend in high school who did that, and his parents caught him and made him smoke part of a carton of cigarettes until he was sick. At least your parents werent that bad....Id rather be spanked than made to smoke a carton. Your parents will probably ease up on the friends things too eventually after they cool off. Just dont do anything to make them not trust you anymore.

Answer 3

i think if you talk to your parents they might let up in a while. They got really mad becasue smoking is a very seriouse thing. I know I have been quite for 8 months. I started when I was 14 and am now 24. It is very hard to quite. It is very addicting, and a discusting habbit. My hubby is also 24 and got a scare that he might have lung cancer at 24 years old. That is horrible. I suggest you really think about what you want to do with your life, and chose not to do it ever again. Then mabey make a contract and sign it with your parents. They might apreciate the try.

Answer 4

Hohohohoho. If I was your mother I would have knocked you into next week on principle.

You're twelve. How many times have your parents told you not to smoke? Your teachers/religious leader/public service announcements on the television? Hmmm?

Now, I'm proud of you for saying that you won't do it again. That's good. But it is not unreasonable of your parents to smack your backside and not let you see those girls again. Unless they're physically damaging you (And depending on where you live it varies- in my state the child must require medical attention) they are within their legal rights as parents to discipline you as they see fit.

On a more progressive note, your parents will calm down, and eventually you will be allowed to play with your friends again. Just don't go smoking anything else, and it'll even out eventually.

Answer 5

Why were they mad?

Try this: they don't want you addicted/hurting/severely sick/dead...

(Disclaimer: I lost three good friends to those %$@*&#@! Cancer Sticks, so I'm a little emotional about it...!!!)

They're also a little afraid that those friends might get you to try something else that's not very smart. So now you have a job to do: convince them you have your head on straight, and they'll let up. After all - many say, "I'll never do it again (including grown-ups)!" and then go on and do it anyway...you have to SHOW THEM you've learned.

Hang in there...

Answer 6

well you can't make your parents change their minds. But if I were you, I would ask them to talk and tell them that you know what you did was wrong and dangerous. Tell them that you know cigarettes are discusting and unhealthy, and you are sorry to disappoint them. If you really want to show them that you are growing up, you will accept the punishment they gave you, and learn your lesson. Although I don't agree with spanking, I do believe that they are fair in forbidding you to see your friends (for a little while) Your parents should respect you if you admit you were wrong and accept the punishment.

Answer 7

I was once that kid that tried smoking and my dad made me smoke a pipe and smacked me every time I stopped - I was so sick and hated him for it.

Now being a parent I would hate for my kids to try smoking. I'm sorry that you were spanked but your parents are only punishing you because they know how bad smoking is for you. I agree that this will all eventually blow over..Give them time to cool down and realise that we all have to learn things for ourselves.

Answer 8

All it takes is one cigarette to make your parents think you've been doing it for a long time. You've lost your parents' trust. You'll have to work to earn it back. Try to stay out of trouble!

Answer 9

Your a child, your outlook in life is to obey your parents, if they care and love you and about your future.

You need to work with your parents and know their ins & outs and don't tell them everything. It's easier to ASK for forgiveness than permission and make arguements- YOU LOSE. Good parents are like GOD in your life at 12 years old.

Answer 10

Because they LOVE you

I started smoking when I was 15. I'm 30 now. I can barely run or walk a flight of stairs. All it takes is ONE and you COULD be hooked. Don't start, nearly impossible to quit and a painful way to die slowly.