I'm a Girl Scout leader that never gets a Thank You from parents. Getting burned out. Help!?

Question

I plan whole day activities when school is out so parents don;t have to worry about childcare, I babyit at last minutes notice, spend tons of my own money on parties, field trips, birthday & Christmas gifts, movies, cooking etc... but never even get a thank you. I love being a leader, but with no appreciation at all, it is making me sad and lose my passion. No one invites my daughter over to play even though I have their children over all the time. What can I do different? Should I buy each Brownie a Christmas gift this year? Last year I received a bar of soap from the dollar store as a gift from the entire troop. Help!

Answer 1

Thank you for being such a kind, caring Leader to the girls who are in your Scout troop!

One of the things I have learnt in my life is this - SOMETHING THAT HAS NO COST TO A PERSON, HAS NO VALUE TO THEM.

Start recruiting other Mothers to help you on field trips, movies etc., because right now they take what you do for granted and probably have no idea how hard you work for them and their daughters.

If you would like your daughter to play over at the house of one of your Girl Scouts, then ask her mother if it would be okay for them to have a play date. It is okay for you to ask, you know!

Remember that YOU teach people how to treat you!

NOTE: If there are any parents of Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, Guides, Brownies etc, out there - please take the opportunity this week to thank those Leaders who work so hard and also make sure that your sons & daughters also take the time to thank them every week.

Answer 2

So, give up on the parents and concentrate on the kids. Make a point of working on the Show Respect for Yourself and Others portion of the GS Law. It sounds as if your kids would be in better shape if they learn it from you rather than wait for their parents to get around to it.

Also, there is a ton of stuff you can do without spending money on troop activities. Check out the web (that's where I get most of my ideas). When there is something that you'd like to do that will cost $, tell the parents a month or so in advance and make sure they understand that if they can't pay you before the event, their kid won't be able to go.

Or, work out a yearly budget and tell the parents how much it will cost them. (I'd recommend that you get a check at the beginning of the year - January would be a great time to start) rather than weekly dues. The weekly dues tend to get to be a pain.

If your families are really too poor to afford the activities, I'm sure that your Council has money they can use for financial aid. Check with Council.

Ok - so that's the money part. The rest of it seems to be that you're being taken advantage of. You know that they can't do that without your permission. I am a leader, and I wouldn't even think of babysitting for free for someone (regardless of whether or not they are in my troop) if it seemed like it was a one-way street. Just say "no."

Kids usually get so many gifts that another small think from a leader really doesn't make much difference at birthdays and holidays. I'd stop it all if I were you. If you'd like to do something, make a bit of a fuss over the kid at your meeting. Maybe allow *her* folks to bring a special snack, and make her your special helper for the day (working on the Helping Others part of the law...)

Hang in there and see if you can make it to any of the leader meetings in your area. They can be a great place to vent and to get other ideas.

And, by the way... Thank You!

Answer 3

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Answer 4

If you received a bar of soap from the Dollar Store last year from the ENTIRE troop, then it sounds like you've either got some dirt-poor troop members or some really inconsiderate ones (their parents).

If it bothers you so much, you should consider resigning- not indefinitely, just for a year. Give yourself some time off. You've obviously earned it, and you obviously need a break if you're burned out. It's sad that something as sweet as being a GS leader is a thankless job (do you even get paid?). You're not being appreciated, and quite frankly, you don't need the hassle. You can still show affection for your current troop members after you've resigned, and perhaps these parents will realize just how much time and dedication you put in for their girls once you're gone and someone else steps in. Buying presents for these girls to show that you care is a)Not going to be effective- you already do plenty and it isn't appreciated, and b)Not setting a good example. You can't buy love and respect, so why bother? If you want to buy them presents simply because you enjoy making them happy, that's one thing. But if you're buying them presents to convince everyone that you're worth a Thank You, that's something different. Best wishes for whatever you decide. :)

Answer 5

Girl Scout Leader Gifts

Answer 6

Been there, done that!
It hurts, i know. The same thing, I babysat, spent lots of my own money, a lot of my time, talent and passion. No one invited my daughter over. I don't know why. But now that my troop is seniors and working on their Gold, I am starting to think about 'recycling' back to Brownies or even Daisy's. One thing I know for sure, I WILL NOT DO EVERYTHING this time. When you are a 'take charge' kind of gal, and I think that you are, people will sit back and let you. It took 'my' girls years! to realize that I was NOT paid to be a leader and I'm not sure that their parents ever got that too. I love it too and will continue although I don't think I am appreciated as much as I should be. (I don't get Christmas gifts either). But we're not doing this for the Christmas gifts, are we?
My advice is to have a parent meeting and at this meeting, tell the parents that things are going to change. You want their help, have jobs ready for them to take and if they don't do them, don't do them for them. It's time to have the parents step up and realize just how much you are doing.
If you want to be in total control then you will be taken for granted.
Good luck, and remember why you are a leader. It's not for the presents. These girls are going to be such good people a large amount to you. Later in life, these girls will be leaders in their community and they will be using skills that you taught them. When they are older, and they have children of their own, they will relaize what hard work you did for them.
That's why you are a leader. You are special.

Answer 7

I'd quite, I need appreciation and I deserve it, so if you aren't getting it, quite. No one deserves to be walked on, the parents are taking advantage of you. IT's takes 3 seconds for a parent to thank you, I don't think that's asking too much! Ignore some of the negative comments that were made, you matter just as much as the girls and if parents don't recognize you or appreciate you then let them get another leader. And really, a bar of soap from the dollar store - that's insulting! I'd rather have a homemade card with kind words than a stinkin bar of soap!

Answer 8

No don't go out of your way! I'm not sure how you feel, I can only imagine, but I would not go out of my way if I were you. And you know if your doing to much cut back! If they can't say thankyou then I wouldn't even bother! Sounds like you are a good community leader and i wish there was more people like you around!
As far as your own money, i wouldn't do that, just increase the girls dues for the month! We pay $3.00 a month in dues! Just no more than $5.00! Good Luck and Thankyou for all you do for these girls!

Answer 9

Maybe they saw the real u and wanted u to wash the reasons u r giving for being a true leader. U r complaining and acting worse than a child when u do things seeking gratification. The scouting movement is about caring for others without pay. It is something done from the heart. God blesses u with the ability to do what u r doing for each and every one of those girls and in the future when those girls grow up they'll want to be like the person who stood out in their life as righteous, self giving, outgoing, friendly, kind, warm, generous, and dutiful. U will certainly be remembered for ur kind acts and deeds by the children u serve with love and attention. Don't teach ur child at home that it is any different from what u r teaching her around the other girls. Don't let ungratefulness from others burn u out. God is keeping score u can bet on that. That is why U r one of the chosen few. Hope i helped bring ur giving spirits back up. Scouting is a never ending tireless job and responsibility we take on to serve God first them out scouts and then their parents. Believe me someone will get hip to u needing help and before u know it someone will help or have u tried asking for the needed help and really stressing it?

Answer 10

It is great that you do so much for these girls and the parents also. They are taking advantage of something they don't even know they have. I agree with the first person who answered your question (sorry don't remember their name). Give a lesson on "please" and "thank you" using things you do as examples. Maybe plan this lesson with the parents being present this day also. Teach them some common courtesy they are in need of learning also.

You could also stop taking on so much that isn't required of you. Maybe these parents would then appreciate you and all you do that is not required but done from your heart. Make the parents start pitching in some money or supplies for parties instead of buying them all yourself. Don't have all day play days on the days the girls have no school. Make the parents realize they do appreciate you. When they call you to babysit last minute, tell them you are sorry but you have other obligations to attend. They then should realize how important you are and how much they appreciated all you did for them. They will then remember to say thank you when you do so much! If they don't, don't let it bother you, they are just rude people to begin with. Be happy you aren't like them and you are teaching their girls and your own to not be that way.

Good luck! And as a mother, school volunteer, sunday school teacher, and volunteer sports coach I would like to tell you...

THANK YOU for all you do for these girls. I appreciate all you do for these parents and children. People like you are so important in the lives of our children today. Again Thank you!