family problems?

Question

hello,i feel like i have losts my familly.you see my wife and i havent been geting along with each other for about 3to 4 yrs .we've done alot of dameg to each other and espeasity are 2 kids. my wife cheeted on me 1 yr, ago and i was a adict also but now ive been recoverd over 1 yr now and some how things dont change .you see i dont even now who that other person is or what he looks like .that guy that ifound out she was cheeting onme .for all i now he could be my next door neibger .and ived asked here and shell never tell me ..so i cant forgive something i dont now ..so i tryed for a year,and just cant forget somrthing i dont now .and i can live wth someone who belittle me and mentually abuse me .shes never happy evryday it seems i never do nothing right .i feel she stoped loving me along time ago,i just dont feel here love that used to have tords me any mor like when she did care.now i left the house andmissmykidsbuticanputkidsthrought this.butifeelishouldbeclose2themwhatshuodido

Answer 1

Hello. I understand that you are in a world of hurt but I'm not sure what the question is. It doesn't matter who you wife had an affair with ... if you can't forgive her it's not not going to work out.

Tell her you want to forgive her, you want to be a family again but you need some help.

Counseling, both religious and secular, is available to help you reconcilliate if that's what both of you want to do. If you guys believe in God the religious kind might the the answer.

Answer 2

If see will not talk to you about what she did then she does not feel remorece. Keep this in mind, you cannot change people. biblically, emotionally, and even with the state (not that u need a reason there) you have all the reson for divorce. if it was me i would divorce her. but, you are not me search yourself weather that is the answer. my point is that if you do chose this life, the state can give you rights to see your children. keep this in mind. whatever you do. do your best to make it stable, your children need stibility. unfortunatly a the state will not help with this. there really is no magical advice i can give you.
however, i can say this. my parents broke up. fortunatly i was young enough that i can only rember one court scean, this is what i do rember. My father picked me up every single weakend for the majority of my childhood. spend as much time with your children as you can.
I love my father.

Answer 3

im sorry to hear what you are going through. but if you want my honest opinion, i dont think it's wise to waste your time exerting too much effort on something that needs mutual cooperation. seems like you're the only who want things back to normal again. besides, she did you bad b4. you did too, but you mentioned you're clean now right?
you may not keep your family intact again, but the least you can do is spare your kids more hurt. You & your wife are adults, you know whats best to do. if you're children's feelings are on the line too, i guess you know that frequent fights would do no good. get a time out, a space to breathe. or else all that will be left in your family is but resentment & sorrow.

Answer 4

Thank you for strengthening my resolve not to have any relationships. How old are you? I'm almost 37 and never had a relationship for many reasons. But you've summed up my fear very well. Good luck.

Answer 5

Don't ever for one minute go back to that woman because if she's in any way abusing you and ur kids it will only get worse...good for you for quitting...get custudy of your children and lavish them in attn...im going thru something very similar and i can tell u u need to get out...my daddy never quit...he killed himself and let me be the one to find him-i was nine...my mom started dating abusive men...she went to jail and left us for well...left us...she tried to get us back but that didn't last..her new bf was a convicted child molester...so ilive with extended family now..and i can tell u i am so much happier...ur kids need u to save them...please get out and take them with you!