I have two questions- 1. about potty training, and 2. about a mouthy tweleve year old..?

Question

I am asking these questions for my brother... He has a three and 1/2 year old who is pretty much potty trained execpt for going poo. He wants to know how he can get his child to go poo on the potty...Also he has a very disrepectful twelve year old child, and though I won't go into full detail, this child has a bad mouth. My brother does moster timeouts and a bunch of other techniques, but nothing seems to work. How can my brother get this tweleve year old to stop being sooo disrespectful? Please don't answer the question if your answer is to hit, spank, or smack...

As to the accountablity - my brothers' son is showing other signs of a deeper problem and is not not not showing responsiblitity, he won't bring home his homework, thows out teachers notes, roughs up his three year old brother, this kid is in counseling and is given many chances to show responsibility... When the child is given these chances and still doesn't conform, take responsiblity and goes way out of his way to make sure he does nothing what are you doing to do?

As to him having the things taken away he just doesn't care... They've done it before. It didn't change a thing. In fact things got worse.

Answer 1

For the potty training: I showed my daughter the Bear in the Big Blue House: Potty Time with Bear video, it worked wonders. Lots of praise and maybe a sticker book do great too.
For the 12 year old, it's a toughy. He can try a swear jar, where he has to put in a quarter for every swear word, and when he runs out of money, I guess he could put in priviliges and other things. It's a cry for attention and testing the boudaries. Your brother HAS to be consistent. Just because something doesn't work at first doesn't mean it won't in a week. Time outs need to go, he's way too old for them. If your brother completely cleans out his sons room of all stuff except a bare mattress and a blanket, the son will soon understand that his behavior is unacceptable. Try looking into some of the punishments the mom from Malcolm in the Middle tried. She has some great ideas for kids that have seen every punishment under the sun. Good luck to your brother!

Answer 2

OK wow! as for the baby..i tried a potty chair that sings when you use it for my son and it worked he can Also instead of asking do you have to use the bathroom he needs to say OK lets go potty don't give the baby a choice to say no cuz soon as ya walk away....baby is gonna go! now the twelve year old take something like stereo away ..key is to find something they enjoy and use it to stop the negativity then when there acting better give it back....is your brother a single dad.....if so maybe the child is acting out after all babies do get more attention they do need it but sometimes we forget that just because there older doesn't mean they don't need there own special time! hope i helped!

Answer 3

Wow someone with the same problems as me. My 11 year old loves to swear and be disrespectful. I have tried to stop her by explaining how bad it sounds and what effect it has on others but when she is angry it all goes out the window - all I can do is take away every privilege - TV, friends, Internet and hope that this phase will blow over. My best advise is not to buy into each argument because it is stressful and never gets anywhere. I find with her I tell her the consequence and walk away. Follow through over and over....

As for toilet training I know why they wont go number 2 and its the sensation of it coming out free and the stigma we instill ie - yucky smelly pooey and all that. Reward and praise is all I can suggest as they do grow out of it eventually.

Answer 4

I have raised two daughters and a son...they are now ages 25, 20 and 19....All very respectful adults but they all had their moments as teenagers...At 12 time out is not going to work....take away priveleges...no phone, no tv, no going out with friends and no friends allowed over for a specified time....When I was 12 I went through a stage where I had a rather foul mouth...I thought it made me look cool to throw out a slew of four letter words.....my mom decided my mouth was so dirty it needed to be cleaned so she would take a cotton ball and soak it in liquid dish soap (like palmalive) and she would make me chew it like gum for 10 minutes or so. I think she did this 4 or 5 times before I finally learned to keep the cussing quiet when mom or dad were within ear-shot....The most important thing I learned raising children is you MUST be consistant and you HAVE TO follow through with any punishment you threaten to use. These two rules are non negotiable when raising children of any age...but especially teenagers!

Answer 5

In the Bible it refers to 12 as the age of accountability. Meaning that that is the age where a child should be held accountable for his or her own actions. I think 12 is a little bit old for time outs don't you? It sounds to me like part of your brothers problems that he is having with his 12 year old may be in part his own fault. It sounds like he is treating his 12 year old like a toddler rather than a preteen. I'm quite certain that if he treated his 12 year old like someone who is becoming a young adult rather than like an infant, he may have more respect. As far as the 3 1/2 year old poohing is their pants, perhaps he should just say oooh gross and show the child that it is disgusting.

Answer 6

Although hitting would be a logical solution, tell your brother to take away anything that the kid has, such as iPods, MP3s, games etc. And tell him to set ground limits such as only TV for an hour and sleeping at 9 everyday. That should teach that little punk who is boss.

Answer 7

Can't help with the twelve year old....
The potty thing, though.
My three year old son thinks it's a hoot to sit backwards on the toilet and watch the poop splash into the water. Gross... but, it works.

Answer 8

one time i yelled at my parents for something stupid and they washed my mouth out with soap and i'm pretty sure that it would clean up your niece's mouth in no time. btw i'm 13 so we aren't that far apart in age. does your brother cuss in front of the kids because normally that's why most kids in my grade act disrespectful.