PLEASE DON'T STEAL IT!!!!!! IT'S MINE! some advice would be appreciated!
The Front Door
What if we all had magic inside.
Making the world bend to our pride?
What if we all could touch the moon,
Never having to stay in our own cocoon?
Could it really happen?
Is it really real?
Something that's supposed to be forbidden,
but you can't help wanting to feel.
This question makes all minds go crazy,
something that still makes me hazy.
What if? Just these simple words.
It seems as if we are all cowards.
The fear of what these words mean,
it's not real, and it’s reality.
We see only what is meant to be seen,
but it leaves us with a sad finality.
I still can't help but wonder why?
Why can't life just be? Why do we have to die?
That's when What if? Comes into play.
Giving us hope - giving us something to say.
Life has to be based on something more,
what if is just the little back door.
It's time to face what lies ahead.
Walking through the front door is my choice instead.
2006-11-29 12:21:53 · 6 answers · asked by Sarah DeBouter 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Performing Arts
You are a very very very VERY talented writer, anyone can see that! if you aren't like studying this as like a college major or whatever they call it, this is very refined for not-a-professional.
you do switch the poetic technique sometimes, from rhyming ABAB, to AABB, to maybe what they call syllable or beat rythym i'm not positive, and some people may not like that but i personally dislike poems that are like ...cat...hat...fish...wish...meat...cow...beet...wow...??
listen to other peoples opinions too. the audience is who you want to reach. it think this is a very thought filled poem.
KUDOS!
2006-11-29 12:41:17 · answer #1 · answered by rltfish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a spectacular poem! I know this will not be as good as that other guys answer, but your poem is totally deep. It has a lot of thought provoking ideas in it. But be careful about the whole people stealing it thing. There are probably a lot of deranged poets out ther seeking a new analogy. So be careful but, good job with the poem!I hope you submit that to something.Or maybe publish it. Sounds like you'll be a great poet someday! Especially if you write more like that(thought provoking and persuasive).
2006-11-29 21:46:42 · answer #2 · answered by I like skushies! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a fan of your rhyming. The cocoon/moon thing looks extra forced. You think of a cocoon as something that makes you more beautiful. Good enough poem though. I liked it.
2006-11-29 22:27:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poetry does not mean rhyming, it means expression of one's life or their experiences and conveying that to humanity. Moving humans with their well chosen words, that speak their souls desires, that is poetry to me. Your poem has good ideas, and the ending has feeling and meaning. Keep improving, until your poetry is the essence of who you are.
2006-11-29 22:01:35 · answer #4 · answered by Lesha a Canadian. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nice and what I like about it is that people could have their own interperitations of the same thing.
I think it is a butterfly
2006-11-30 06:57:28 · answer #5 · answered by Uchihaitachi345 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you could state what it is that is the deciding factor in you choice......in a round bout way
2006-11-30 00:56:59 · answer #6 · answered by greckel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋