I punish myself... =(?

Question

I punish myself for arguing with my fiance and making him feel bad all the time. We fight every day and disagree every day, most of the time it's my fault, to make myself get the point and possibly stop being this way... I started to cut myself. I am 18 and miserable while I have alot of things I want. I am also on medication for bipolar. What should I do?? PLEASE HELP ME

Answer 1

First of all, it takes TWO people to make a fight. Your partner also has some responsibility for each & every fight. I find it hard to believe that it is always & only your fault.

Every couple has issues to work out and that usually means some disagreements. If those disagreements are always fights that make you so miserable that you are cutting to cope with the pain, BOTH of you need someone to teach you how to work out compromises & discuss issues without destroying each other. That kind of help can be had from books, tapes, the clergy or professional counselors.

You two are preparing to marry & yet you fight everyday & the relationship puts you in great pain. What do you think will change when you get married? If you do nothing to improve communication & cooperation between you two, yor marriage is already headed for divorce. Or perhaps, if there is no divorce , suicide.

This difficulty must be worked out before you marry, for your own well being! If he loves you, he will learn to communicated with you. If you love him, you will tell him how bad this fighting makes you feel.

A relationship with your fiance should make you happy, not miserable.

Answer 2

It sounds like you are a glutton for self punishment. You may have borderline personality disorder. You don't want them to know because you don't want to tarnish the image that they have of you, at least the one you think they have. Is there anything else you can do to vent your anger and pain? Is there any creative outlet that you have, drawing, singing, playing an instrument, running, working out. Why do you think you should be perfect? What made you feel like you are not worth your family and friends' love? Depression happens for many different reasons. If you don't want to be depressed, you have to take steps to change your mind set. Coping skills must be learned. If you keep cutting yourself, eventually you will end up in a hospital bed, and then everyone will know. You cannot keep doing this to your body and expect it to recouperate time after time. Depression can cause your immune system to start failing, and you may actually give your self an infection with the instrument you are using to cut yourself with. Either you want to live or you don't. You shouldn't punish yourself because you're not perfect. No one is perfect, and even people who think they are, aren't. You are cutting to let out the pain. It probably doesn't even hurt anymore. I hope that you can come up with a solution to deal with your pain in a more productive way. Best Wishes.

Answer 3

You should certainly stop blaming yourself this way. Even if you are wrong or the source of the problems, which I highly doubt because it takes two people to have a problem and to argue, you do not deserve this. Considering that you are bipolar.... maybe you should speak to a counselor or a friend. It doesn't have to be a shrink... just someone you can talk to and someone who can hold you accountable. Also, I am assuming that your fiance does care about you..... he wouldn't want you to do this to yourself. maybe you should talkt o him about it. It'll show him how big of an effect this is taking on you and help push for change. And, depending on how close you are to the wedding, you may want to postpone it or hold of o the marriage thing for a while. If you fight and dissagree everyday.... you NEED to fix it. IT WILL NOT MAGICALLY GO AWAY ONCE YOU ARE MARRIED! I PROMISE!

Listen.... don't ignore this. Start doing somehting about it now!

I hope everything gets better. If you need someone to talk to.... my email is [e-mail]. It'll help to talk to someone.... and sometimes it's easier to talkt o a complete stranger than someone close.

Answer 4

I used to be a cutter too. Actually so did Johnny Depp and 1% of the entire population. It's weird, cuz it feels good in some way. This is because it actually releases healing agents into our body that give us a natural high. I have to tell you though...eventually you will get sick of bleeding, hiding your wounds and living with the scars. I think all you can do is make the decision to stop and seek help from someone who really loves you. I wish you all the best hon.

Answer 5

this is not a healthy relationship. first of all if you are fighting a lot that is one sign of unhappiness, secondly if u feel so bad that u think u have to cut yourself (which is never the answer) you really shouldnt be with him. i kno it would be hard to leave him but believe me sometimes its for the better.
hope that you find a way to fix this and please whatever you do stop cutting its unsafe and very unhealthy.

Answer 6

This may be mean so dont take it in a hard way.I used to do that so i no what ur feeling.You should c a councler or shrink or w/e you wanna call it.Or you could write angry letters and rip them up and set them on fire OR take a veeeeeeeery long walk.

Answer 7

there are other ways you can deal with this you can go for a walk or talk to someone that your close to but not punishing your self like that because that shows that you dont love your self you love self before you love someone else or write there heaps of ways out there. everyone goes through ups and downs in life but it dosent mean we have to punish our bodys that way.

Answer 8

Please stop cutting yourself! Do you think the physical pain of cutting yourself will stop the emotional pain that you feel? Are you also in counseling? You may need to up the miligram or change your meds completely. Please talk to someone, (parent, siblings or pastor, or even your doctor) , just get the help that you are seeking. God Bless!

Answer 9

Go to the DR and therapist and tell them that you have started to cut yourself and the DR can increase your medications and you can go to therapy and work on coping skills

Answer 10

Stay on your meds don't stop and hopefully you are seeing a counselor, just take care of you for now, if he really cares about you, he will maybe understand take him with you when you go for counseling..