What if my maid of honor seems not that into my wedding? She is expecting a baby in January and I am getting married in September. Does it just seem like she is preoccupied or does she not want to be in it? Perhaps she is too consumed in her baby plans? How do I get her more into it? We have been friends since 3rd grade and we are 26 now. I would like her opinion on what looks good. Should I just plan it with my fiance then? This baby has changed her like she doesn't want to talk much and she is so into her boyfriend that it seems like there is no time for me. I think that my wedding couldn't have come at a worst time and I would rather not get married anymore! Help!
2006-11-29 11:34:23 · 11 answers · asked by Peek A Boo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'm sorry that you feel that way, but please don't take it personally. This is an exciting time for both of you!!! She is having a BABY!!! She has a ZILLION things to do, and a baby will definately change a person :) Ask her for her opinion and if she seems too consumed with the baby, then ask your fiance and your other bridesmaids instead. Give your friend some time to let this whole idea of being a mother sink in...September is a long ways away, I am sure she will come around shortly after the baby is born. Good luck!
2006-11-29 12:30:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to accept that at this point, there may be soemthings that are more important at this moment. Her baby is due in just a few weeks and from a medical stand point - at this point she is exhausted, her brain is overworked, as is her body, and she probably has trouble getting excited about much of anything other then chocolate and pickles, lol.
The first few weeks after the baby comes will not be much better - adjusting to being a mom is a HUGE chore on it's own. Go ahead and start planning with your fiance. After the baby has come and she has had some time to adjust to her new role - you can expect her to be more willing to be involved but remember - she is a mother now and she will NEVER be the same person she was post baby. She is a mother and has responsibilities but taht doesnto make her incapable of being a maid of honor.
2006-11-30 00:17:05 · answer #2 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand how you are feeling. I am also getting married in September. It seems like a couple of my bridesmaids are in that mood. I just think that it is the holidays and preoccupied. I decided that we will order the bridemaid dresses the first sunday in feburary and they all know that. I would bring bridemaids dress books over to her place and you two could sit and look then decide what dress would be the best for everyone. Make it fun and relaxing. I hope that I helped you out. Your wedding is going to be wonderful and beautiful. I feel the same way at times and I have learn to not sweat all the small stuff. Best Wishes on your special day.
2006-11-29 19:48:25 · answer #3 · answered by Charlotte H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am also in the same situation...well almost. My MOH is kinda MIA! She is super busy with school...in fact getting ready to graduate. Sometimes it seems as though she is preoccipied with it at all times. One thing you have to remember is that you are the one getting married and you shouldn't let her get you down. It is a drag to not have your best friend engaging in the wedding plans. I think sitting down with her and the guest list or catering menu and discussing some things is key. She is probably getting to the point where she doesn't want to go shopping for dresses or decorations. But remember this is your time. I bet if you help her plan for her baby she will be excited to help you! Also your wedding is still a ways away so hopefully by then she willcome around!
2006-11-29 20:53:07 · answer #4 · answered by Blondie98_01 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure she's just go the coming baby in her mind, January is a lot sooner then September. You can get her opinions but the planning--for the exception of the dress--needs to be done with you and your groom to be. If it bothers you this much why not talk to her, maybe she's feeling just as rejected that you are not "in to" her coming baby. A friendship that has lasted this long would be a sad thing to throw away, just talk to her, maybe talk her out to lunch and just chat, but also ask her how she's doing don't make it all about the wedding as about what plans she has for the baby.
but this is just my opinion
2006-11-29 22:02:33 · answer #5 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a bride, you of course want all the help you can get--especially from your maid of honor.
However, you need to also understand that her priorities have now changed. Talk to your friend. Express to her that she is special to you, that's why she is your MOH. Let her know that you understand that baby plans are her priority, but that you need her desperately now. Ask her if it would be okay to have another bridesmaid help with the wedding organization/planning--while she can be involved as much as she is willing and capable of handling. This way you don't have to offend her, and still get the help and support you undoubtedly need.
2006-11-30 01:19:37 · answer #6 · answered by Benji's Mommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say to her that you understand that her life is really hectic right now with a new baby on the way, but that her role as maid of honor is incredibly important to you and that you wouldn't have asked her if you didn't think that she was the best person for the role. Tell her that you don't mean to sound selfish, but that you need her to be involved in your wedding planning or, as much as this would hurt both of you, you'll have to ask her to step down. Explain to her how much you care about her and how much it means to you to have her as your maid of honor, but also stress how special and important this day is to you and how important it is that she makes this a priority. Good luck and congratulations!
2006-11-29 21:32:58 · answer #7 · answered by ms. teacher ft 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find another job for her to do at your wedding and ask her to step down as MoH.
She IS preoccupied with her baby as she should be. And the fact that the baby will still be rather new when you get married, well, she may not be getting much rest. Her life is about to change like you will one day find out.
Let her off the hook. She isn't doing this purposely, it's just how things go.
2006-11-29 20:53:10 · answer #8 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your friend is expecting her baby in about 6 weeks time.
your wedding is not for another nine months.
put yourself in her shoes & see which event would be taking priority in your life just now.
her pre-occupation with her life does not mean she is not interested in yours.
show her that you are the friend you expect her to be by giving her some support in the next few weeks,I am not saying to put your wedding preparations on hold.- just show some patience for a few more weeks - your friend is also going to need some understanding in the first few weeks after the baby is born
one day - you may know the joy/pressures of the imminent arrival of a baby & want her support - yet again- at that time
it also sounds like you are somewhat jealous of your friends romance even though you are planning on getting married yourself- step back for a moment & try to remember how you were acting in the earlier stages of your relationship with your man
2006-11-29 20:49:41 · answer #9 · answered by fairypelican 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I guess you can't ask her not to be your maid of honor, but you also shouldn't put any reponsibilities on her that she doesn't want to take on. Get someone that you like that has good taste, and bond with them over the planning of your wedding, your fiance sounds like a great choice! You can't expect people to be as excited for you as you are...surround yourself with more enthusiastic people or hire a coordinator.
2006-11-29 19:43:26 · answer #10 · answered by CruelNails 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋