Ok this is a question to all men out there. Why are men such commitment phobes. How long should a girl (in her late 20s) wait before her boyfriend asks her to marry her? I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half and I dont want to scare or pressure him into it but I also dont want to wait forever for him to feel like he's ready. He doesn't feel comfortable talking about marriage. Should I keep waiting, talk to him about it, or just move on? I want to be married in a few years.
2006-11-29 11:20:16 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he doesnt even want to talk about marriage, then this should be a red flag to you that there is a real good chance this guy will never get married. True, men are afraid of committment, but come on at this age he should be able at least to talk about it. What does he thinks happens when people date for some time? Its time for your sake to have a very serious talk with him about your future together. Tell him your dreams and desires and see what happens. If he avoids the subject, then its probably time to look for more suitable marriage material, because this guy likes his single uncommitted life way too much and you two arent suitable for a long term serious relationship. Remember hes a big boy and he wont melt if youre direct with him. Good luck
2006-11-29 11:29:39 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a guy but I think I might be able to answer your question. My sister has been seeing this guy for over 2 years and shes been wondering when (or if) he'll pop the question. There's always been talk about marriage. I think it has to do with the fact the his parents are divorced. They got divorced when he was a teenager. And since he saw them going threw a bitter divorce I think it scared him from getting married. Hes definitely more couscous than the next guy. My sister doesn't want to wait around forever and neither do you I'm sure. I think they will eventually come around ( hopefully before its too late). Some women can be like this, its not just men. Some men want to get married! Its kind of the same with having children if you came from a big family then you are more likely to want a big family. Well whatever you do don't pressure him into proposing cause then he might break up with you or if he dose purpose then he might end up resenting you. Hopefully he will but whatever happens is meant to be. Maybe he might be waiting for the right timing (say Christmas) but I wouldn't get your hopes too high. I wish the best of luck to you and your boyfriend. Happy Holidays!
2006-11-29 11:37:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient. It has only been a year and a half. If it is meant to be then it will happen in time. Let it play its own course. Do not push for it. Think about what you are saying. I want to marry him. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man. Yet, if he doesnt ask me soon enough then he can go to hell. Would you stay if a hostess told you the wait would be an hour and you were starving? Or would you drive around to numerous local restaurants, scope out the parking lot and finally decide you found the right one only to find that you have to wait 45 minutes and you just drove aroudn for 1/2 hour. You leave him, Find someone new, wait with them and your 5 years later now than just sticking it out.
2006-11-29 11:26:05 · answer #3 · answered by James C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CC,
Your definitely do not want to make him have to commit if he's not ready. What you need to do is talk to him and tell him how you feel. Based on that conversation you may have to make a decision one way or another. I will say this a year and a half is not all that long to wait, but if you feel there is no commitment coming in the future then maybe it's time for that conversation, NOW.
TDCW
2006-11-29 11:27:11 · answer #4 · answered by TDCWH 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, then you've got a few more years for him to ask you! It sounds like you are in a serious relationship, and 1 1/2 years is nothing when you'll be spending the next 70-80 with him once you're married. Give the guy a break.
2006-11-29 11:22:51 · answer #5 · answered by salivate16 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a man I find this both presumptuous and sexist. Just because one man doesn't want to make one commitment, that means all men are "commitment phobes"? Anyway, this question is much better addressed to him. Just tell him you want to be married in the next few years, and if that isn't what he wants, leave.
2006-11-29 11:25:07 · answer #6 · answered by tacticallity 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first understand that people get ready at their own pace. What if he was ready but you weren't? you would expect him to wait for you "or he didnt really love you" right? having said that You two need to be able to talk about anything if you are going to get married. In a non nagging way. say im not trying to pressure you but I do want to know if marriage is something if our future. Let him know you love him either way. In the mean time save up and get your finances in order. But if he says no then really be honest and let him know how you feel. but no pressure and no nagging
2006-11-29 11:26:18 · answer #7 · answered by Armond B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a girl but believe it or not that once i herd that a cute collage couple wanted to get married, so the girl wanted to get married in about 2 or 3 years while the guy wanted 6 or 7.. guys tend to wait longer in marrige proposels.
2006-11-29 11:23:18 · answer #8 · answered by ♦Its•Possible•But•Not•Logical♦ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the big rush to be married ? I would say a good 4 - 6 yrs years before anyone thinks about getting married.. My gosh,look how easy it is to get a divorce these days..
You are sharing a lifetime with someone... choose a spouse carefully...
2006-11-29 11:25:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rushing anything is never a good idea...I think when you've waited long enough you'll know... I think it's going to be harder and harder for men to want to get married these days because of the rise in divorce rates...49% last time I checked...
Figure out what is in your best interest then go from there...IMO
2006-11-29 11:24:27 · answer #10 · answered by Dave B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋