we are not going to have alcohol served, but relatives are having a fit. should we give a little something at our home for the drinkers after the rehersal dinner ,or just stick to our guns and let them drink on their own dime and time. we are afraid if we do not ablige them before the wedding they might slip it onto the church grounds and embarass us. please help.
2006-11-29 11:17:59 · 14 answers · asked by miyantai 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
i am not cheap at all. my deal and concern about the drinking is that we have family members that are alcoholics and we do not participate in the action so 1. we do not want to contribute to the problem and 2. no i do not feel if i do not drink i should not spend money on omeones bad habit. we love our folks and will do whatever, but we want this particular event to be calm and not out of contoll because someone cannot hold off on their habit. again i did say a religious affair. in a church and a fellowship hall.
2006-11-29 13:55:31 · update #1
It seems that your renewal is steeped in religious significance...and alcohol is not part of that. I will be the first to admit that I AM a drinker...and couldn't imagine my party to not include alcohol. But the important part is that is me. A wedding celebration or vow renewal is not a typical "party". It is a highly emotional exchange between 2 people that is shared with those that they love. You should celebrate this exchange how YOU want to. If you don't want drinking...and if the location doesn't allow it, simply state that to your friends and family. If they can not make it through one evening that is meant to celebrate you...then the problem at hand is a large one; but not yours. Don't serve alcohol because a bunch of whiny babies want it.
2006-12-05 09:43:31 · answer #1 · answered by Heather 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wedding is just that, your wedding. And if those you invite can't go a couple of hours without a drink then not only do they have a serious problem, they really don't have to attend. So many feel like it isn't a party without the booze.
I was at a wedding where at the reception was a keg of beer. It didn't take long for that to be gone. Nearby there was a grocery store. Needless to say, a couple of the guests made a trip to the store to spice up their pop. Was not a pretty site.
You hate to have bouncers at your reception, but they have been put in place at receptions before for those guests who can't seem to control their alcohol intake or some other potential problem.
You & your husband have to make a choice about this; then stick to it, whatever way you decide.
Then, they'll either come or they won't. But you will be able to stand before the person looking back from the mirror, and that's all that really matters.
2006-11-29 12:04:48 · answer #2 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married for 33 years. My wife wanted a renewal of vows ceremony, but I always disagreed with it and she didn't push the point. A vow, an eternally-binding oath before God in front of your friends, is not something that needs to be renewed. Or so I thought. I have come around to Suzanne's way of thinking, because so much has happened in our lives since we got married those years ago. We aren't the same people anymore, and we are still together because we grew and changed in more or less the same direction at more or less the same time. I don't think it's reasonable to infer that, just because someone wants a recommitment ceremony, there is necessarily guilt over infidelity. You are not sky-writing anything to anyone. In fact, you could also argue that NOT having a recommitment ceremony is evidence that you regret the decision to get married in the first place. That may or may not be true. If you and your husband want to have a recommitment ceremony, I would be inclined to just go for it. However, for the ceremony to have real meaning, it should be after at least twenty years. After all, many couples part company as soon as the kids are grown and gone.
2016-05-23 03:20:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We had the same situation when we got married. Don't stress over this. This is YOUR party and you set the tone. If heavy drinking is not your thing then why would you serve alcohol? That was how we felt.
In the venue we used there was a cash bar located outside of our reception area. Some of our guests went and bought a drink and we had no issue with that. Really, there was never a mention of the lack of alcohol, at least not to us.
Don't apologize or explain to your guests. Let your party represent who you are as a couple. Have a wonderful time!
2006-11-30 00:18:17 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not want to serve alcohol, then don't. It's your party. However, if money is the main concern and not a problem with alcohol in general then consider having a bar available where the guests have to pay for their own drinks. That way, the drinkers get to go to the bar but you don't get stuck with their big bill. You might want to provide everyone with one glass of champagne for a toast. I have been to a wedding reception where they did this and no one thought it was unusual or tacky. Good luck and Congratulations!!!
2006-11-29 13:12:36 · answer #5 · answered by hes 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A good compromise may be to serve two different punches, in punchbowls-- one lightly spiked with alcohol (and labelled), and one with none. So people can have a little something withour getting smashed. Plus, it looks festive.
Having a cash bar of any kind, at the reception OR at the rehearsal dinner, is RUDE. It is more polite to not serve ANY alcohol, than to charge your guests for anything being offered at your private event.
It is also very RUDE for your guests to be complaining about what you plan to serve. Make your decision, and then stick to it-- they are the rude ones.
2006-12-02 14:31:42 · answer #6 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make it a theme... If no alcohol is what you both want, then you should have NO problem getting family and friends to respect that. I know that sounds good on paper (alright, on screen) but stick to your guns (but leave them at home too :)
Why don't you offer an alternate AFTER party where they, outside of the church, can have all the liquor they want. This way, they have an outlet.
2006-11-29 11:23:50 · answer #7 · answered by websco137 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The two things that you definitely should not scrimp on are unlimited alcohol and a band...your guests should be your first concern and, honestly, the party won't be a party if people can't drink at least a little. If money is a problem, then have a 2 hour open bar instead of 4 or 5 hours...at least the guests will get something instead of soda and water. It is only fair...
2006-11-29 12:09:27 · answer #8 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Since when did a wedding have to include alcohol? There is absolutely no reason that alcohol has to be served.
2006-11-29 16:20:52 · answer #9 · answered by Chrys 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
RESPECT YOURSELVES BEFORE YOU RESPECT A GROUP OF PEOPLE ARE EVEN A RELIGION, IF YOU FOLLOW THE TEACHINGS OF THE WORD OF GOD, THEN REMEMBER THE FIRST MIRACLE THE MESSIAH DID, AND THEN ASK YOURSELVES A QUESTION, "ARE WE BETTER THAN OUR TEACHER". WHATEVER DECISION YOU MAKE JUST MAKE SURE YOUR CONTENT WITH IT AND IN THE END YOU WANT HAVE ANY REGRETS. CHRIST COULD NOT PLEASE EVERYONE SO THERE'S NO WAY YOU WILL. PEACE!
2006-12-05 06:11:58 · answer #10 · answered by Yahshua F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋