ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
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OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
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SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
2006-11-29 11:15:56 · 34 answers · asked by Chocogal 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
there is no question
its just like a joke
2006-11-29 11:24:35 · update #1
Got a laugh out of them, I really liked the last one................. My wifes uncle is always asking me, why we live in a trailer, He always said when I get smarter, I would buy a house that will increase in value. After years of hearing this at every time I saw him, I finally told him one day, "When I get ready to divorce your niece, This way she can take the house with her, and leave me my garage." He never said it again. ..................quick note, WE still live in our trailer, And I have 5 houses/ apartments that I rent out. lol
2006-11-29 11:23:24 · answer #1 · answered by Speedbuggy43 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was pretty funny. Even though im a girl i still found that funny... better joke then the guy with the bottle and the frontal lobotomy.
2006-11-29 11:19:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is an incredible collection of cliches but one of them is very funny and that made up for wading through all the rest.
2006-11-29 11:19:28 · answer #3 · answered by Rich Z 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Outstanding!
2006-11-29 11:18:55 · answer #4 · answered by Norm 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I literally ROFL-ed at this the priest one was funny, but the last one was the funniest post more i'm putting a star for this
2016-05-23 03:20:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL Kudos to you. 10 out of 10.
2006-11-29 11:19:18 · answer #6 · answered by L-Rad 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I especially liked the one for longevity.
2006-11-29 13:01:51 · answer #7 · answered by 63vette 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very funny
2006-11-29 11:20:36 · answer #8 · answered by linsey5130 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats hilarious!
I LOVE IT!
Sooo True!
2006-11-29 11:18:19 · answer #9 · answered by Mad Jack Wants To Help. 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
these are funny...thanks i needed a good laugh...i'm going to pass them on. i especially like the last one as i get that all the time !
2006-11-29 11:18:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋