Is 3 years older just too old?

Question

I've known my boyfriend since september.
He is everything and more I could ask for in a guy.
While other guys were busy playing me, he was busy stealing my heart.
I finally found somebody I really like and care for. And for once, I'm just happy.
Why can't my mom accept that and be happy for me? Don't tell me to talk to her about it, I've tried. She doesn't understand that he isn't like all the other guys in the world. She thinks he is using me for sex and I'm get drunk and high with him ALL the time. She says I have no business running around with a 19 year old. But I'm 17 next Sunday...and my heart feels right with him.
She also told me its illegal for me to be hanging around with a 19 year old. I live in Kansas. If you know anything abou that please help. I'd appreciate it a lot. But what should I do? I miss him so much...we aren't allowed to talk or see each other...

Answer 1

First and foremost, congratulations on finding someone who makes you happy. That is a very difficult task in and of itself. As for your mom, she has every right to be concerned and it really isn't uncommon for parents to be overly protective, especially of their daughters. Even more so if the guy is significantly older.

Technically, you are still a minor and he is an adult. That could be an issue. I don't know what the law is in Kansas but here in California, if you two engaged in sexual acts, that would be illegal. This could be what she is alluding to. Hanging out without sexual activity is not illegal but since you two have an intimate relationship, that's a moot point.

I don't think 3 years is a huge deal considering your respective ages. But with legal ramifications and an upset parent looming large, it certainly does not help the situation.

My advice, let things be for now and give it some time. I would never advise going against the rules your mother has set for you, she is still your legal guardian. If she finds out you have been dishonest, you might pay an even heavier price and it just isn't worth it. When the time is right, maybe you guys can get back together again, but don't force it. If it was meant to be, things will work themselves out.

Answer 2

When you are a minor, then yes the age difference is a problem. You should be hanging with people your age. When you are 21, then it is not so big of a difference. There are also maturity issues that enter into play here. Also there is this issue of where you both are in your life. You are still in High school and though you may think that you are grown up, you are still very much a kid, in 10 years that will make sense to you.

Your mother is right about it being illegal. He could get in major trouble, I think that it is a felony for him to date you. If you have sex then it is called Statutory Rape, even if you are consenting . Those kinds of convictions, will require him to be on the Sex Offender registery possibly for the rest of his life. He should and probably does know this. If you really care about him, you won't allow him to put himself in a position that could get him thrown into prison.

Listen to your mother, she is very wise. When you are an adult, if you want to date someone with a three years age differnce (so long as they are not minors) than there is nothing wrong with that. I am sure your mother would tell you that.

Answer 3

Its fine to be with a 19 year old and its totally possible you have strong feelings for him In the UK the age of consent is 16 and I agree with that age You are 17 I have 2 daughters now22 and 27 so i know a lot about this . Just try to stay with it and see what happens as it may last but as you are young it also may not Maybe your parents would let you see him if they chaperoned at first until they trusted him If he cares for you he will try this Good luck

Answer 4

he's a approaches from previous. Chihuahuas can stay from 12 to 17 years. My little boy is 4 a million/2 and nonetheless going solid. The chi my mom and father were given at the same time as i change into in intense college lived to be 13. At which era they had to have her positioned to sleep. It nonetheless brings tears to my eyes wondering about it. She change into in a nasty way. It change into the right selection, yet as i'm constructive you recognize, that doesn't make it any a lot less puzzling to bear.

Answer 5

I know that you may not want to hear my answer but listen to your mom... for now anyway. If this guy really cares for you, there are ways he can let you know (and vise-versa) without disrespecting her wishes (send an e-card, e-mail, letter by way of a mutual friend, etc.) Not ragging on age, but there are a lot of young men that age who are really "out for one thing": sex. But, in his defence he may really be an exception to the rule. Only time will tell for sure so be patient. As you know by law, you are legally an adult at age 18. If he's still around (and the exception to the sex rule), then you may have found the right guy for you... but as time goes on and you're unable to communicate with him directly, you will really find out what type of guy he is. Spend time with your friends and do what you guys do for fun. Don't rush to be in love, trust me. If it's not right, you'll be harming yourself more than doing either of you (you, him or your mom) any good. Don't rush... if it's real, he's not going anywhere. But be warned - most 19 year boys are really only out for one thing... and screw it up for the one's that aren't.

Answer 6

Your mum seems tight, but she is right. she knows whats best for you. I am friends with this girl who is 13 and is going out with a 17 year old, she changed dramatically.. wagging school, drugs, asking my mum to buy her ciggies, she has even made 4 sex tapes. HOWEVER .. my other friend who is 13 and is going out with a 16 year old. He is the sweetest guy eva!! he does go out and party and **** but doesnt force her to do any of it and they have been going out for 5 months now. So my advice for you is that your mum should let you make ur own decisions and learn from them, she cant do it forever.
Good luck!

Answer 7

me and my bf are the same. hes 17 and im 14. we both love eachother but our parents yhink were to young. ive just written a letter to her xplianing everything. this way she knows everything without interuptions. bribe her with stuff like saying that ull clean up after dinner for this guy and stuff. i think that if ur 17 and hes 19 thats not a prob at all.

Answer 8

I think once you are 17 it's not illegal, just be careful not to make your mom right about him. Be good, stay off drugs, and no sex.
If he's Mr. Right, he'll respect your choices. And your mom will come around in time, if he proves you right.

Answer 9

you need to respect your mom as well...3 years is not too old, my max is 5 but I told some one if it was meant for me to be with some one who was 10 years older I would accept him, however Im still watching ages in my relationships, 3 years isnt to old though no.

Answer 10

YOUR MOMS A COW. but she might be right. i was in the same situation. i ran off married him. loved him did what i could. he still beat me and looked at kiddie porn. i was only sixteen because my parents gave up. a least your cow mom cares.