Help me!!!?

Question

How can i make sure my girls have a good christmas, I,m new at being single parent. I,m trying so hard to pay morg polltax and all the other crap. I,v got to have their dad over for xmas dinner and be all happy when really i wana throw forks at his face. I,m being civil for my girls sake. last xmas i saved for months for prezzies and he turned up like mr I CAN DO BETA and made my prezzies look like sh.. !!! I NEED SOME ADVICE ...PLEASE XXXXX

Answer 1

im so broke right now i got a new credit card to buy presants for my kids i didn't want to do that but i have no choice so you could get a credit card and run yourself into debt like me

Answer 2

Unfortunately, been there an done that! Got the t-shirt! Will let you know it gets better, kids grow up and realise for themselves who the real parent is. Firstly it depends on how old your daughters are, if under 13ish you could have them do a xmas list, telling them they will not be getting everything on the list! and you can choose what you can afford from their lists, he could buy this most expensive gift there is but if that child wants a £10 teddy bear, that's all they will play with. If they are older explain that you cannot afford a particular present at the moment so choose something else. They will have seen lots of changes going on around them, tell them this is just another change but things will get better.

Why have him over for dinner? let him come over in the evening or early in the morning, start as you mean to go on!

Answer 3

I agree with most so far... Your kids will DEFINITELY figure out who's there for them most (every single parent family Ive EVER known has the same dynamic and not once has the mum come off worse....)

Why not try and start a few 'traditions'. I STILL watch The Snowman and Father Christmas (Raymond Briggs cartoons) every year with my family (and we're onto third generations if that means much!)

Sitting under a duvet, with a few biscuits, the only light coming from the christmas lights on the tree watching a nice Christmas film is gonna be remembered more than which barbie daddy gets. Maybe also take them to a Chrisdingle service first (you know, get an orange and put raisons etc on cocktail-stick in it) at Church?

But ALSO, you have the advantage- you live with them, know their habits and likes/dislikes.... If one's really arty (for example) you could get them something to make on Christmas day or, if like me, they like to read, a book from a favourite author will be perfect (I got loads every christmas but was gutted if I didnt get a book....)

It REALLY is about the meaning of Christmas and knowing mummy and daddy still love them (even if you DO want to throw knives at him!)

And make sure he at LEAST does the washing up- warn him in advance and make sure the kids know "guess what daddys going to do!"!! hahaha that'll wipe the smile off his face!)

Good luck and DONT PANIC!

Answer 4

It can be hard to face that fact you can't give your girls everything. Believe me they are better off learning the true meanning of christmas. Try to instill a charitible spirit. Maybe do some volunteer work with them helping so they can see how good it feels to help others. Spend time with them watching xmas movies and drinking hot chocolate. If your ex can give your girls lots of nice things than so be it. At least they have a father willing to do that for them. Some just walk away and never do anything for their kids.

It is hard now, but I promise it will get better as the years pass by.

Answer 5

dont make christmas into a competition. kids pick up on this. restrain your emotions against their father, for the sake of your darling daughters. explain to them that you love them dearly, that the biggest present you can EVER possibly give someone is to love them, and that you love them with all your entirety! buy them the best presents you can realistically afford, and remember that should their father buy them something far better, (which will make them happy) be HAPPY for them, for so many children will not receive presents this xmas!!! You have the power to make sure your girls have the best xmas this year and this has very little to do with the prezzies you give them...God bless

Answer 6

first off, stop worrying about it, youre the one thats there for the kids on a permanent basis, and thats what counts more than one day of a yr. my dad left when i was four, and me and my sister didnt have a clue how much our mum struggled all yr round, let alone at xmas. and each xmas morning our dad turned up with tons of stuff and made it look like he was a doting parent by spending lots of cash. our mum did all the work on xmas day while he just sat there coming across all loving and caring. now that weve grown up, we appreciate how hard it was for our mum and we know who the better parent was. so theres no need for you to feel so bad about it, just remember that he only gets to be like that SOME of the time, you get to be a great parent ALL of the time. your kids will let you know im right when they get older.

Answer 7

I just want to tell you I am so proud of you and there need to be more role model mothers out there like you. Do the best you can for your girls for christmas presents because the will not be worrying how much they get and that is really great how you are haveing their father over for dinner and hiding your feelings against him. I am very proud of you and you are doing just great and on the right track!

Answer 8

I'm sure your girls love you. If you want them to have a good Christmas. depending on how old the girls are, material items doesn't matter. I mean it matters but it's not everything. You could always try to plan a nice Christmas vacation for the girls, I'm sure it don't have to be anything big but a nice little outing. that's a good Christmas plan.

Answer 9

just do the best you can do hun...f*ck him...he's not there every day doing what you do so what gives him the right to think he's any better...if he makes you feel like that darlin...then have him put his hand in his pocket.....your doing a great job, being a single mum is so hard....i am talking through experience...been a single mum since my youngest was a year old...he's nearly 18 now and is doing good.....you can only do what you can for your kids...they don't expect anything more....so if i were you i would be proud of yourself for being strong...at least your there with your kids.....just one more thing....you have not GOT TO have him over for Christmas...but i know what you mean about doing it for the kids....not a good situation to be in....

Answer 10

Christmas is so competitive, which spoils it. Buy the presents you can afford, make the day special for your girls by playing with them and having fun. Rise above this confrontation with your ex, come this time next year and you'll be saying "who"?. Remember you have the best presents of all, your daughters!

Answer 11

Why dont u do something simple yet fun with your girls ie bake some xmas fairy cakes? or make up silly songs and have fun dancing and singing together. My mum would play music and we would dance like mad. I remember laughing and having the best fun with her! No matter what he buys them, you can be the one that makes them smile without having to give them materialistic things - trust me, they will remember the laughter long after the pressies are gone

:-)