how can I end meal time battles with a 5 year old?

Question

I have an extremely picky eater-who will actually gag on foods she doesnt want to eat..I've been too lenient and catered to her a bit too much.I'm thinking of starting to send her to bed without dinner if she refuses to eat what she is given.Any opinions,tips or thoughts would be greatly appreciated. When I say picky-I mean there are only 4 or 5 things she will eat and 3 arent healthy meals

Answer 1

You might try a compromise, if she eats one of what she doesnt like she can have one of what she does like...make a game, take her to the store with you saying that you are going to try one new thing, fruit, vegetable, bread, and let her pick it out and if necessary do 2 new things and make the other one something like ice cream, cookies or candy....she will eat if she is hungry, sending her to bed is an option but then you are using food as a punishment and that should never be done! :o)

Answer 2

Remember that 5 year olds won't starve themselves to death, and ultimately, what your child eats will be what they choose to eat. It's a lifelong habit, and you are in this for the long haul. So it may not be fun now, but you will get to where he/she will eat more.

- Make sure you are setting a healthy example. Eat well yourself, and offer what you are eating.
- Put a tiny amount of each item that's being served on the plate, and don't offer seconds of anything until all the items have been tasted. I remember reading somewhere that sometimes kids need to taste something two dozen times before it becomes familiar to them. We require our kids to taste everything, then they can have more of what they like. (As an aside, my youngest gagged on things she didn't like when we started this. She's perfectly healthy, gets plenty to eat, and doesn't gag anymore.)
- Stick to your rules. Offer a healthy meal, let your child determine when she's done eating, don't comment or plead, then put the plate away and no more food until it's mealtime again.
- Set your child up to succeed. Offer a variety of foods, but include one thing your child is likely to like when you first try this approach. In our house, we could almost always rely on the fruit being appealing, so we always had fruit as part of the meal.
- Be patient. My kids didn't become really good at trying new things until they were teenagers, and growing so fast they could not get enough calories. Now they are all pretty good eaters.

Answer 3

We have a 3 and a 6 year old. Therte is no doubt that this can be a huge challenge, and you must know that you are not alone.

I think that when there are picky eaters they are not doing to be difficult. I believe that food taste different for different people. And I think at 5 (and I imagine she has been like this for a long time) she is not doing this to be difficult she is not eating certain foods because she truly does not like the taste.

So that said I think making her eat food is not a good thing. She may get resentful and frustrated, which would be worse. I do not think she is old enough to be making a choice about the food "picky-ness" so that the consequense of going to bed without food feels too extreme.

I think building on what she likes is the first step. Try to vary within the areas she likes - so for example if she likes chicken nuggets continue to give them to her but maybe cut them up one day. or make them into strips - or if you think it will work try a different type or brand.

She will begin to like more and more as she gets older - but she does need to eat and as you know with children we are dealing with people that have so few choices about their lives.

Answer 4

I've had this same problem with my 4 year old. What I do is only offer her things that are healthy to eat. At first that meant giving her a dinner of something snackable like carrots and cheese or something before we concentrated on dinner. If she didn't eat her dinner... fine, but she gets nothing else till bedtime. I think that only happened a few times, but you have to be willing to put your child to bed hungry a few times which of course is heartbreaking. Now she knows that when she eats whats healthy for dinner, then she can pick someting that she wants to eat after dinner (bananna, raisins, peanuts, cheerios, etc.) It's a hell of a battle, but well worth it in the long run.

Answer 5

Try to give her a variety of choices that you can live with. Don't give her the option of not eating. Just say do you want corn or peas with dinner? Or let her be incuded in the grocery shopping. Bargain with her I.E. If you eat a few bites of whatever then you can have some of the food that she likes. Or make the unhealthy meals that she likes Healthy. If it's pizza that she will eat then put alot of vegis on it, or french fries: Bake them in the oven to make them more healthy Hope this will help ya.

Answer 6

I have a 5 year old, a 4 year old, and a 2 1/2 year old. We have a rule in my house. You must try everything on your plate. If you do not like something then you do not have to finish it. My 5 year old was the hardest to get to comply with the rules. He'd say I don't like that before even knowing what it was. He still does to some extent. But he has gotten better. I have my kids help me "cook" dinner. we go through a cook book and pick something that looks or sounds good. They would never eat meatballs (still won't eat them in spaghetti) So I make them plain with some cheese. When I make something new/diffrent I always serve it with at least one kid favorite food. IE: meatballs with mac and cheese. It does take at least a dozen tries before a child learns to like something. I have 2 cookbook/magazines that have healthy kid friendly foods in them.


My advise is to sit down as a family and go over some meal time/ any time rules. Explain that there is a new rule at meal times. Everyone must try all foods on their plate and if they really do not like it then they don't have to finish it. Have her help you plan meals. Bring her grocery shopping with you. and pick new foods together to try as a family. Mine never ate meatballs, peas, cooked carrots. Get creative with food. We make apple banana muffins, carrot cookies. Get creative with what you call the foods. Instead of cheese burgers call them mini cheesy burgers. Make foods smaller. My middle child will only eat mashed potatoes with ketchup on them. So I give it to her that way. If she likes chicken nuggets serve them but make your own to make them healthier and serve them with other healthy foods. You should also get rid of all the junk food (chips, cookies) if all there is is healthy foods then when she gets hungry enough she will eat them. My youngest is my "snacker" she'd rather eat snacks than a real meal. So I've cut out her morning snack. Now by the time lunch time comes around she is hungry and eats whatever is put infront of her. Too much snacking and snacking on the wrong types of foods can make a child not hungry for dinner or any other meal. Try making meal time fun. Instead of using a fork maybe once a week you can make foods that can be eaten with your hands or use a tooth pick to pick up foods. We do this once a week. I'll make meatballs, homemade french fries, raw vegetables W/dip, cut up fruit. We use tooth picks to pick up and eat the food. The kids think its more "grown-up"

Going to bed hungry once in a while will not harm a child. If you can deal with the crying, carrying on. I however could not. So I usually ended up giving them a PB&J sandwhich.

A few questions. Does she snack durring the day? How often? What are the few foods she likes?


Nick JR. website has some nice advice.
expert advice - http://www.nickjr.com/parenting/parenting_features/picky_eaters/picky_eater_advice2.jhtml

other parents tips - http://www.nickjr.com/parenting/parenting_features/picky_eaters/nickjr_moms_picky_solutions.jhtml

Answer 7

I am a nutritionist

I agree with sending her to bed hungry if she will not eat her meal (missing a meal will cause no harm)

the most difficult thing about that approach is that you will need to follow up, (no snacks after the fact because you fell bad)

Answer 8

You said it - stop feeding her. Like a dog, when she gets hungry enough, she will end up eating whatever is in front of her....

Answer 9

she will eat when she is hungry but dont buy junk food

Answer 10

force feed her with a slingshot lol just kidding