I am in a real rut at this point in my life?

Question

I know I suffer from Depression and I am very Depressed over my Money Problems in Life. I work for myself as a Handyman and I am not very happy doing it. It seems that when I get slow I quote too low on the jobs and I lose More money on them.
I used too have a good job in a large company But the Industry Has dryed up. Now being in my early 50's I work for my self as a Handyman. I find customers treat me as a a lower servent then a pro. I get so depressed that sometime I gas up the truck and take a long rides along the beaches of longisland and not show up for work. I am like a kid playing Hookie. I always was a hard worker all my life now I could give a Dam!!!!!! This is not Me!!!!!!

Answer 1

Well, you know there is always counselling and supports available to you in your community, but have you tried the self-help approaches? Here are some good tips that you can try at home to see if this lessens your depression. Best of luck.

"GET OUT OF BED:

One of the most important things you can do is get up at about the same time every morning (even week-ends). Preferably, that means about 7 a.m. or earlier. You might not feel like it but Get Up. Such regularity helps your body function more normally so you're more likely to feel normal.

LIGHTS:

Light helps your body function better. So turn on a lot of lights as soon as you arise. Open curtains to get more sunlight. Better yet, go outdoors into the sunshine as soon as you can. Remove any eyewear so light will enter more readily (glass cuts out some of the sun's rays). But don't stare at the sun, of course.

MOVE:

Be active right away -- oxygenate! That means getting up and walking around your dwelling for five or 10 minutes, or perhaps riding an exercycle. Mild exercise gets the blood flowing and transports more oxygen throughout your body (especially to your brain), helping you feel mentally alert and alive.

MUSIC:

Select and play some energetic, happy music as you dress and have your breakfast. The audiovisual department of most libraries has albums and tapes you can check out.


BREAKFAST:

Begin your breakfast with protein (i.e., meat, eggs, peanut butter, nuts, cheese). When you get up, your body chemistry is ready to convert food, especially protein,into longlasting energy. To balance your most important meal of the day, add an orange or other fresh fruit and whole grain cereal or whole grain bread.

TALK WITH SOMEONE:

One of the quickest ways to beat the blues is to interact with others. You might not feel like doing that - you'd rather avoid people when blue. So make lt easier on yourself. Talk with someone you enjoy about a subject you enjoy so there is definite give and take.

And, force yourself to say "hello" to the persons next to you in class, those where you live, anyone around.

LIMIT CAFFEINE:

The long-term (four hours or so) effects of caffeine are depression. Try to limit coffee to no more than one cup in the morning. Coffee can make you more alert for an hour or so, but later you get an opposite reaction. Caffeine tends to increase the release of insulin in the blood, and insulin lowers the blood sugar level. When you have low blood sugar levels, you begin to feel less sure of yourself, and have low energy levels, which can lead to the blues or depression.

LIMIT SUGAR:

Sugar might give you an initial rush of energy, but within an hour or so the blood sugar level can become low, and when it's low you may feel low, too.

The caffeine/sugar cycle. It's easy to get caught in the caffeine and sugar cycle -- having coffee, caffeinated soft drinks, or something with sugar every two hours or so to "stay up." For example, cola contains about 10 teaspoons of sugar plus caffeine equal to about half a cup of coffee. In addition to bringing on the blues, this cycle can result in dependence, poor nutrition. and obesity -- reasons to get down on yourself even more and feel blue.

MAINTAIN FIBER:

Fiber helps food go through your digestive system at a proper rate, giving a more constant energy supply. Highly processed foods merely provide a quick surge of energy which can be followed by depression. You can maintain fiber in your diet by eating an orange or grapefruit rather than just drinking the juice. Eat fresh vegetables, fresh fruits, and whole grain breads and cereals.

STRESS B COMPLEX:

Some persons report receiving help by taking a concentrated vitamin B complex. You'll find these called something like "Stress B" or "B 50." This is controversial.
Some nutritionists say, "Yes, this really should be considered," and others say, "No, this is not a good Idea." You can try some and decide whether or not it helps you. If it does help, then perhaps you should consult a nutritionist to see if there are other ways you can augment your diet.

ROUTINES:

Changing your routines is another way to help shake the blues. Choose a different combination of clothes to wear, walk rather than drive, take a different route, eat at a different place. Do something different to help break the routine.

It's hard. Getting up in the morning, turning on the lights, eating a nutritious breakfast, keeping busy--keeping such a schedule is not always easy.

You might need help for the first few days, someone to help you form good habits, get you out of bed. turn on the lights, make sure you have a good breakfast, someone to help you be more active. One good way is to make a contract with a friend or friends who want to see you change. It might seem embarrassing, but
those friends want to see you healthy and happy rather than depressed and difficult to be around. Note: If you feel that you need the help of someone for more than three or four days, you probably should make an appointment with a counselor or psychotherapist. You don't want to wear out your friends!

DEVELOP SUPPORTS:

Good old-fashioned support works wonders. Most of us have not developed "support systems." We need to think about that idea ahead of time, if we have the tendency to feel blue, so that the supports can be available when needed. Plan ahead by filling out the last section of this publication and keep it handy. In addition to developing your own resources, you might know of some community support groups for persons with the blues. Call the local mental health center to see if there are some groups you might be a part of. Some places to call for leads at K-State will be listed at the end of this brochure.

What do I do when I feel myself coming down with the blues?

Recognize the change in yourself when you are "coming down" with an emotional slump. Don't deny it or feel guilty. Rather, take charge of yourself right away.

Perhaps taking a day off and doing some favorite things will restore you. Get more exercise: walk, garden, cycle, swim. You might not feel like it, but exercise is one of the best depression breakers and preventers.

PRETEND:

Put a smile on your face and pretend that you are happy. Stand straight rather than falling into that slouching, depressed posture. Sound hokey? Well, it isn't. Research demonstrates that forming a facial expression actually changes how you feel inside. And pretending to feel an emotion results in actually feeling it. Frowners feel sadder. And the depressing effects last for hours. So smile: at yourself and others, even trees or dogs or cats. Sure, it's tough to smile when you're feeling blue. The extra effort you muster to do it will help you break the blues.

Wear bright, happy clothes and pretend you are happy. You will then find yourself happy. Maybe, even wear a goofy shirt or blouse or cap so you can see others smile with you. Dressing cheerfully and pretending can beat the blues.

SEEK OUT HUMOR:

See a funny movie, read a humorous book, or listen to a comedy tape/CD. When you see a really funny cartoon, make a copy and save it. Consciously decide to use and employ these things when you find yourself coming down with the blues. Singing can help -- make yourself do it.

EXERCISE:

It's worth stating again: Exercise is a great way to break depression. Walk, go to the Rec Center and ride an exercycle, swim, or climb stairs if it's too cold or hot outside.

Do not give in to those inner blues that say, "I don't feel like it."
Doing almost anything constructive will be beneficial."

Answer 2

If you are not earning that much right now, you can get free or almost free help from your local Mental Health organizations, you will probably need to make a few calls to get to the right place, but it will be worth it if you can get some counseling and maybe some medication for your depression. I know its hard to believe, but medication sometimes can lift the cloud of depression long enough to think straight for a while.

I don't know if you have medical insurance or not, but you should get a full physical to see if there's something that might be affecting the way you have been feeling.

I can suggest two good websites for findiing and bidding on work as a handyman. Constructiondeal.com and Service Magic. Both work the same, you sign up and indicate what type of work you are interested in, such as Handyman, and for about $30 a month (at Construction Deal.com) you can bid on jobs that sound like something you might be interested in bidding on. Always bid high, to medium high, if you are skilled you are worth it. Consider that the people you are performing your work for don't know what you know, so don't ever think that you are not a professional.

You are probably going through changes that happen to some men in the construction trade, it has happened to my husband, who hadsbeen a residential and commerical painter for the last 15 years, and now is not able to do the physical work he used to. He went to Texas Rehab and is in the process of choosing what type of retraining he might be interested in. These services are available to people who need to be retrained because they are no longer able to work in the industry/occupation that they have previously done. Every state should have a Rehabilitation Commission, maybe you can check into this.

Also, and I hope I am not offending you with this suggestion, maybe you could try joing a church group that could offer group support, prayer and encouragement, so you would feel that you have to shoulder all your problems alone. Take care. Best wishes.

Answer 3

A handyman is very precious and there is nothing wrong with it. On the contrary, it is a noble job because generally, such person can do practically everything and those who are concienscious and honest are difficult to find. You should be proud of yourself! I believe you have been somehow traumatized from what happened with your job in a large company. It is normal to feel depressed because you probably feel your self-worth has been lowered to a manual job.

Please do not feel discouraged because there are plenty of potential customers for what you can do. Remember; there are many things you are good at! The only thing is you cannot get lazy on yourself when you are self-employed. It is all right to go and take long rides along the beaches, and take walks by the water. One can see forever on a clear day!...Do you understand what that means?...

Focus on bright and successful days in the future and go for it! You were always a hard worker all your life, so now is not the right time to give up on your beautiful values! Regain your control on what is the real you! And smile! It helps a lot with people!
You know what kids do ?... They kill us with kindness and that is the reason we always forgive them when they play Hookie! They outgrow this after they learn there is more to ife than play Hookie! You are a grown man and going through a rough time but you certainly have enough wisdom to know that the sun is still there behind the clouds, even when you can't see it!

GOOD LUCK to you,
Peace in your mind,
Love in your heart,
Aboundance in your life!
GBY

Answer 4

Get to the doctor. I have been suffering with depression and anxiety for more than 5 years. It took me a couple of years to get up the courage to even get to the doc, which I regret. And let me tell you, once those anti-depressants kicked in I was a changed lady. I still have times when I get back to my worrisome self, but I can fight my way through now. The doctors were always very understanding and helpful too. Also, find a job you love. You're in your early 50's, you should know exactly what you want in live and what things make you happy. You can do this! I did : )

Answer 5

wow. being that i am yournger than you i feel like i wouldnt wanna be in a situation in which i hate my job. Its never too late to make amends for yourself. If you are not happy, try again. Maybe take a few classes at a community college and get a degree in something you like or that pays better. I am not a rich person but I always find ways to have fun with the little that I have. You know to come to think about it I think the problems lies within your mental state, I mean you might need to see a psychologist for your deppression. some people are just their own worst enemies. Goodluck and don't give up it's not too late to better yourself.

Answer 6

You have missed the boat of learning about life. Answers is good so is chat. Those are cheap ways to learn and meet. You need to find a new friend who is an outcast\filler person like youself. Because the winner\players are good at games we lose. Be safe in a safe place and don't give up. But make some changes. Wrong expectations are the root of all mental illness.

Answer 7

I am sorry to hear that you are going through this, I would get to a doctor for some treament. Depression can be treated with medications and you will be able to think more clearly about what you want to do. As for everyone thinking you are a sub servant that is there problem. You know you have done well and are doing well now think of your accomplishments not your downfalls.
Good luck

Answer 8

I also agree that Jesus, and praying can and would redirect your thoughts and focus on what's important in your life. It sounds to me that since you have residual income and don't necessarily have to worry about finances that often, that you have more time to do things that are self destructive than things that are positive in your life. Do you have family to spend time with? It maybe time to grow up and leave the partying and gambling alone for awhile. These are just my opinions, so please don't take them to heart. But, i have also been a gambler, and a partier, and what helped me was church, and spending time with my family and focusing on that. The things that are important to you in life will be the easiest to focus on. at times, you have to figure out what is important to you, and that can be a challenge. So, good luck and God bless.

Answer 9

Find some one who's life is worse than yours and help them, you will gain perspective and feel better in the process. Some where near you there is a little old lady eating cat food to make ends meet, find her and help her.

Happy holidays...............

Answer 10

change jobs, and go on anti depressants. a doctor can help you.

Answer 11

Maybe you need to prove it to them that you are worth it of how much you charger them. Maybe you need inspiration in your life.