How can I stop my kids from hitting each other?

Question

I have two kids, a girl who is 11 and a boy who is 7 years old. They constantly fight about everything and they have actually come to blows. I try to break up the fights and I get hit and bitten in the process. I am honestly at a loss of what to do.

Answer 1

I would strip their room of everything (I mean EVERYTHING like tv, computer, pictures on the wall, fancy clothes, etc) but the basics (even rid the bed of any printed sheets and replace with plain ones). Tell them that if they can't resolve their issues humanly, then they don't get their stuff back. They will have to "earn" their items back through good cooperative behaviour.
They have no right to lose so much control as to hit you as well. The line must be drawn. Dr. Phil styles!

Answer 2

Time out 11 minutes for the 11 year old and 7 minutes for the 7 year old consistently.
Every single time they do it, put them in time out.. even if it does sound LAME it works.
Put them somewhere with no toys, tv, etc.. like a corner..
Or you could Ground them.. take away TV for the night.. or for and hour or two.. everytime they hit.
You have to control them.. they have to know that there is a consequence to everything they do.. and hitting you should add more to those punishments... even if it is by accident.

Also, go to your local bookstore.. and look at some Parenting books.. they always have so many different ideas on stopping bad behavior.
Good luck

Answer 3

Set some firm boundries. Let them know exactly what the punishment (spanking isn't a good idea) will be when they have a physical confrontation and STICK to it. Do not back down. At the same time teach them alternative ways to cope with thier feelings. Try to identify their triggers and cut off the problem before the "blow ups" happen. Teach them to identify when they are too upset so they can stop and deal with thier feelings properly. Emphasize that love doesn't hurt. Most siblings actually do love each other. Most of the parents I know who have trouble with thier children fighting have not stepped up to the plate and parented them properly, they want to be the child's friend first, or they themselves are violent people and the children are acting according to the example they set for them.

Answer 4

Once you get them apart, put them in time out. Yes they are a little old for a time out, but if they act like babies, treat them like babies. After the time out, discuss punishment with each of them separately. They should recieve 2 or 3 separate punishments (fighting, not listening when you tell them to stop, and hitting or biting you). Make sure they understand that these are each separate issues and will not be tolerated.

Some suggestions for punishments household chores that they do not normally do, volunteer time outside the home, loss of privledges (phone, tv, computer, extra curricular activities...), physical exercises - enough to make them very tired (pushups, situps, jumping jacks, or anything else you can think of), or write a paper on why violence is bad. I suggest you stay away from spanking because they have already learned enough violence.

If you are married, allow the children to "overhear" one or two arguments with your husband so they can learn how adults deal with differences of opinion. Try to mediate the arguments before they get to hitting. Talk to them about how they can communicate more effectively with each other so they don't have to resort to hitting. Allow the argument to take place, but remind them to listen to each other as well. Don't be afraid to involve a family counselor in this. You can not allow this to continue.

Answer 5

I hope you have never spanked them or hit them. I wonder, if you haven't, just where they learned to strike out at others. They are modeling behavior they learned from somewhere.

When they start to go at it, get some handcuffs and handcuff them together. You could use duct tape, too. They will be really upset with you, but they will have to learn how to work together to acheive a common goal. Keep them like that as long as it takes (even overnight) for them to learn to get along and respect each other.

This is similar to what they do to guys in the army that get into fights. They are tied together with a "buddy rope" and it only comes off when they shower. They have to do everything else together, even moving their bunks so they can sleep tied together.

You just need to show them you mean business.

Answer 6

I have a sibling myself, and we fight all the time! We never really lead to actual hitting because we are both girls, but i know what your kids are going through. It really depends if they are fighting about serious things, or trivial stuff! It also does get better as they get older. My advise is when you hear them start to argue send them to their rooms for 10 min. then call them out and calmly discuss the situation. Also realize your boy is littler and may just want attention from his sister.
Good Luck!!!!!

Answer 7

They are hitting you as well? Sounds violent. I suggest taking them to a counselor of some sort for help. These arent good signs for their future if signs of violence are already appearing. This could get serious. Get a family counselor involved.

Answer 8

My mom tied me to my sister together with a bathrobe tie. For the whole day. Bathroom breaks and everything. One of us just had to look the other way. That stopped us from fighting so much.

Answer 9

you should take away the stuff of theres.

i am 12 and i use to fight with my sis and this worked.try yelling 1 time and only one and put them in a corner...seprate coorners.

Answer 10

I'm not sure you can stop it you'll just have to wait a few years till they mature a little this type of behavior is normal, my brother and I fist fought until I was almost 17 and he 15, Sorry and Good Luck!