My sister is nineteen- she's pretty wild- runs with a bad crowd. She has a "friend" that moved out of state a few years ago that has frequently talked about coming to visit, but never made definate plans. My daughter is very ill, our mother is very ill, and my sister is facing court next week for wrecking a car with no insurance. Nobody has time to entertain this "guest" and my sister and her "Friend" both know this. The "friend" arrived in town today- unexpected- with NO money and the two of them seem to think its everyone else's responsibility to help them have a fun week. They asked my husband to purchase alcohol for them (they're both underage- he said no) and when he declined they expected a ride back to my mom's house.. There's enough going on right now I can't deal with the added stress of all this- how can I say something to this "friend" about her poor timing and rudeness without embarrassing my sister?
2006-11-29 10:11:14 · 12 answers · asked by Jennifer F 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You definitely have one of those situations that requires you slap your self in the face immediately!
Your problem reminds me of a saying: "You can't drown in a puddle if you just stand up"
The reason you haven't said anything up to this point is, you don't want to embarrass your sister (you said it).
The insanity is: Your letting your sister get away with being rude in order that she doesn't get embarrassed!
Do you see where I'm going here?
Your sister brought a problem into your home and is making it yours.
Your option is clear, take your sister into the bedroom in private and tell her the truth and, she has two choices only. One: Tell her friend it's time to go. Two: Your sister and her friend need to go.
2006-11-29 10:25:03 · answer #1 · answered by ggraves1724 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Your sister's, friend is rude and immature, subtle hints won't get the message across. You will have to tell her directly, and firmly that this is a bad time for a visit, with two people in the family ill, she will have to go home now.Offer a future time for another visit,[one that is convenient for your family], and a promise of an age appropriate activity, so your sister has something to look forward too, give your sister a little heads up, explain to her,she could be a help to your mother while she is sick, [try to phrase that in a way , that sounds like you have confidence in her ability to help, so that it won't sound like a lecture],
2006-11-29 18:52:40 · answer #2 · answered by Kimberly H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say to her : it's great that you came to visit my sister, but unfortunately you caught us at a bad time. We would love to have a proper visit with you, but in order to do this we need to get our current affairs in order. If you like we could help you make plans to visit another friend now and we'll call you for a visit just as soon as everything is in order here. Hopefully this girl gets the point. If not, you may have to say : we really can't entertain you right now. We would really appreciate it if you would leave and come back later next year. Good Luck
2006-11-29 18:18:00 · answer #3 · answered by shortcakegirl45 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister needs to find another place for her friend to stay. Maybe another friends house?
Your sister should be a little less selfish and be there for her family. If she says she won't do this then tell her friend this is a bad time and she needs to go. I would put her back on the bus and send her especially when she asked your husband to buy liquor for them.. how rude of them!
2006-11-29 18:22:01 · answer #4 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say tell your sister that is a bad time for her friend to come over and to tell her to leave. Your sister should know better then to hang around with bad influences, and you seem to have a lot on your plate.
2006-11-29 18:45:40 · answer #5 · answered by "*♥*Nafisa*♥*" 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your sister's job to tell the "friend" if she cannot afford to host them, yet did the inviting.
She could say something like, "I'm sorry, but this is not a good time for me/us. If only we had known you were coming, we could have told you in advance. Let me help you find a place to stay that you can afford."
You can support your sister by helping in the "search" for a place they can afford to stay, if they in fact even decide to stay in town. However, since you did not extend the invitation, it is not your place to rescind it.
Good question! Good luck!
2006-11-29 18:15:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should just ask them to leave. you are obviously under enough stress as it is. and it's obviously bad timing on your
sister's "friends." Tell her the truth, that it's bad timing
and you can't handle the extra pressure of having guest around.
2006-11-30 04:43:43 · answer #7 · answered by anne 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just continue to firmly deny their rude requests-it's not your responsibility to entertain them. Maybe they will get the hint. Don't let them stress you since you didn't invite them!
2006-11-29 20:05:48 · answer #8 · answered by barbara 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't.
It's your sister's responsibility.
If you feel you need to say something, you'll have to decide it's okay to embarrass your sister at the same time.
2006-11-29 18:15:05 · answer #9 · answered by jplrvflyer 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They are moochers. Don't tolerate this behavior. Don't let them in your house. I don't care if it does embarass your sister. Don't put up with it.
2006-11-29 19:45:11 · answer #10 · answered by sheeny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋