What Should I Do?

Question

What Should I Do?
i am a single dominican mother living in the projects...my son is 14 in the 10th grade...he constantly cuts class...he failed 4 out of 6 classes...he often gets suspended from school...and i recently found out he smokes marijuana...he says he doesnt care about college and says he isnt goin...he doesnt care about nothing...he says "i dont give a ****"...he steals at the mall with friends...he's just out of control

Answer 1

Depending on where you live, there are government funded bootcamps and I recommend tough love, no freedom, no parties, no buying him things, dont reward your child in the time of his wrongdoings if you like you may email me and I can give you numbers. Im in a Jamaican family and my aunt went through the same with my cousin he is now a warden in San Diego trying to help children just like the one he used to be.

Answer 2

he's at a rebelious age and probably hanging with the wrong people. if you have a program in your area such as 'big brothers and big sisters' you could ask them for some help spending time with your son. try a good therapist he's under 18 so you can force him to go. it sounds like he needs a good male role model in his life. my dad is raising my nephew and still has some of these problems my nephew is going to be 17 and refuses to try at school and says it doesn't matter because he's going into the army anyway. if he gets caught stealing they'll send him to juvenile detention and that will straighten him out (maybe) also they make boot camps for out of control kids.

Answer 3

Tell him if the crap keeps goin on youll call the cops let him go to juve then make him get his GED when he gets back at this age he will be rebellious with about whatever he does. My cousin was 15 when he started that crap his mom couldnt countrol him he always got kicked out of school and was caught with drugs at school then expelled and sent to juve. After he got back he was a new guy hes now 18 and is going to join the army and got his GED plans on going to college and is a respectful young man.
His mother trying to fight with him never helped it just made the situation to get worse personally I think juve was the best thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

SInce he's 14, he can officially get a part-time job. MAybe he could get a paper route or do some lawncare or snow removal. You need to require more of him. Tell him you need him to help raise money for something (Like a car when he turns 16) because you cannot do it alone. Let him know that you really need his help. And make time for him, especially to help him with his homework. Keep tabs on what he is learning about in school (take notes, even!) Ask him to teach it to you. When someone teaches something to someone, it reinforces what they have learned, themselves. It's a form of studying, but it is more hands-on, and less boring then reading a book and trying not to get distracted.
Make your rules and boundaries clear. Don't allow him to go off with his friends. If he wants to hang out and socailize, then let him have his buddies over, but don't let him go anywhere with them until he demonstrates better judgment. Like if he can pass a class, get an A on something, or earn a good paycheck.
Maybe, if you had his buddies over, you could get them all to discuss what they learned in school that day, and they might even compete or show off that they know more than each other. Make them all sandwiches or pizza, and get them involved. Maybe encourage them to start their own business, going to nearby neighborhoods doing lawncare and snow removal, or walking dogs. This could be fun.
If you have difficulty generating interest, you might have to be a little more drastic. You might have to cart him down to the Salvation Army Volunteer opportunities (look on their website). Maybe for a while you will have to force him to contribute to the community for a while. It will have an effect on him. He will accidently feel more important, valued, and appreciated by those in need.
Maybe you could get him involved in a big brothers and sisters community youth mentorship program. He is getting in trouble because he wants to be liked, respected, and admired by his peers. Unfortunately, the only way he knows how to do this is to defy authority and defy the laws. It gives him a misguided, false sense of pride and independance. But if he were admired allready by little kids (all little kids look up to bigger kids) and he was supposed to be an example for them to follow then he would probably rise to the challenge.
If you require more of him, he might just produce more. If you are too critical, unhappy with him, and berate him too much, he will give up trying to produce alltogether.
Criticism never motivates people to perform. You have to inspire them to perform, by catering to their ego needs. People want to be admired, important, needed, respected, appreciated, needed, and to get recognition. We all want that. When we give that to others, it comes back to us.
Working, mentorship programs, volunteer work, and starting a business are healthy ways to meet those needs.
Get with his school counselors, and find out if they offer any vocational programs where the kids go to school for part of the day, then to work for the other part. Find out how he could go about starting a small business or organizing a school event.
Give him more responsibilities and require him to accept them. Fill his time with doing things that contribute to the family and community.
Take care!

Answer 5

Send your son to military school. That'll teach him how to behave believe me. My friend was rebellious like this also so they sent him on that show Maury and then boot camp and military school. That cleared him right up. Believe me its the best option and if he continues on this path he'll be in prison before you know it.

Answer 6

well then he must probably care about you.. so ask him if he cares about you..then tell him about inner/ future things. ask him will a girl want to marry a boy like him in the future who smokes marijuana . talk to him about the future consiquenses

Answer 7

he said he don't care about nothing just put him jail