I am in my mid 20's married, and have been with my husband for 5 happy years. We own a house, have college degrees and have enough money to support several children.
We have traveled and feel ready to have a baby. My mother hates the idea of me getting pregnant, her excuse is that she wants me to wait until I am in my 30's to be a mom.
Is she jealous of me because she had two children by 22 and was divorced when she 24? She also had no education and was struggling when she was my age.
Is it that she doesn't want me to have children or is that she is jealous that I have a happy marriage and I am well off. Will having a child mean she has nothing on me anymore?
2006-11-29 09:51:28 · 15 answers · asked by PrettyWifey 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Honestly it's none of her business, this is between you and your husband. If you guys feel ready and prepare to have children then you should. She's only expressing her concern-she may think that waiting may be better for you guys. But you guys sound settle and ready to start a new journey together. You don't know how long it'll take you to conceive and if you wait too long then it'll only get harder. She can't let her life and her judgment be a factor in what you and your husband do.
2006-11-29 10:02:10 · answer #1 · answered by Annie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You wrote "My mother hates the idea of me getting pregnant, her excuse is that she wants me to wait until I am in my 30's to be a mom."
I always thought that the 20's were the optimal time to have children especially in your case where you are happily married and are financially stable. I don't see the point of waiting any longer if you and your husband are ready to start your family. It's impossible to know your mother's motives for telling you to wait until you are in your 30's, but I think, you should do what you want.
You wrote "Is it that she doesn't want me to have children or is that she is jealous that I have a happy marriage and I am well off. Will having a child mean she has nothing on me anymore?"
I think you feel hurt and angry with your mother. I think you feel that your mother is thinking only of herself rather than being there for you and supporting you in your desire to build a family.
In the last analysis, what does it matter? I know she's your mother, she should be on your side and want what is best for you, but what if it isn't so? Now you have your husband and yourself to think of and hopefully soon, you will also have your child to think of as well. So, try to put your mother's opinions aside, whatever her motive, and just live your life the best way you can and be happy. It's a wonderful thing to have a family and soon you will be a mother too.
Good luck and G-d bless you!
2006-11-29 23:12:57 · answer #2 · answered by happy inside 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most all parents want what is best for there kids but sometimes they can be a pain in the butt.Your mother is probably thinking about the hardships she had to deal with and what she would have done differently if she could go back.Not that its a bad thing but she can look back and see what you cant look forward and visualize.She has many more years of learning the hard way and she doesnt want you to have to make those same (possible) mistakes.I think all parents are like that.Good luck.
2006-11-29 10:04:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that mom wants you to enjoy your twenties before children come into the picture. I'm sure you have heard this all before. Your mom had it rough at your age. The decision to have children is your and your husbands. Mom will come around. I don't think it is spawned by jealousy. Or could be fear. Maybe your mom thinks if you have kids in your twenties your marriage will fall apart and you will struggle. Sounds like it is time for heart to heart with mom and let her know you aren't seeking her approval, your just letting her know that you will be trying to have a baby and she can either support you or not be there at all. Good luck to you.
2006-11-29 10:03:12 · answer #4 · answered by badoll 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think she is jealous, she is probably afraid that your happy marriage will go sour and you will have to raise a child on your own, that is all, but you are ready, college done, home, yes...being a young mom can be really rewarding especially when you have kids who are active and require parents that are energetic and can keep up with them. :) I was a mom at 23, college graduate and my kids love the fact that i can pass for their older sis. Your mom is not jealous, she is just afraid for you, that is all, you dont need her permission for this so go ahead and get pregnant and give her the news, once she sees you with your belly she is going to be supportive and happy.
2006-11-29 09:57:41 · answer #5 · answered by jayjay 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When you have a baby it will make her a GRANDMA, maybe she doesn't think she is old enough to be a grandma. Is she married now? Or does she go out and date. Go ahead and have a baby, she will come around the first time she see's her new grandbaby. You are old enough, you did everything the right way, you have every right to do what you want to do. You have a good head on your shoulders...Go for it. She'll get over it, if she doesn't she's the one with the problem...not you.
2006-11-29 09:56:54 · answer #6 · answered by Becky F 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
once you're off the medication and are wanting to be a sturdy mom then you fairly favor to get right into a remedy and remedy software to stay sparkling and to assist deal with the transition of replacing right into a mom. this stuff will be a neccessity making an allowance for that you're a improving addict and function no obtrusive emotional help equipment which include relations that would truly help you with the help of this. i have considered too many improving addicts turn decrease back to drugs with the point to address the strain of a infant and it not in any respect seems properly. a lady i recognize change into like that and both her little ones were taken remote from baby keeping agencies and at the same time as she saved being rejected custody she saved going decrease back to drugs and finally gave her childrens up for adoption (at the same time as they were 3 and 5 years previous, which i do not favor to even imagine how those females felt at the same time as mommy stopped travelling them).
2016-10-07 23:35:28 · answer #7 · answered by schwein 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and your hubby are ready go for it. there are no reason's to
wait, what society thinks you should have both of you have accomplished! but that's the least of, most important is what you guys want not any body else. do not live your mom's life, live your own! and if mother is jealous of your it's sad, it should be that way.
you should have a talk with her!
2006-11-29 10:41:38 · answer #8 · answered by Fiesty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its none of her busines. You would be the mum and her role the grandmother. She could be jealous and realises that you are no longer her little girl and a woman in your own right. Do what you want. She had her children when she wanted and you should do the same.
2006-11-29 09:55:37 · answer #9 · answered by Closed Down 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont think ur mom is jealous i just think she wantsto be shur that ur hubbie and u are ok before you have children. I think if u have the money to support the kinds and u and your husband both want them u should go for it
2006-11-29 09:55:06 · answer #10 · answered by cutie123 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋