Hey ladies, I need your advice!?

Question

Girls are the wisest. Will you please help me?
I have known this girl for two years, she’s 34 and I’m 30. She lives about an hour away. We went out a couple of times awhile back. First time she had an old friend get in the way, and they pursued a relationship. The second time she indicated that if I lived closer she would pursue a relationship but didn't want a long distance relationship. I told her I wanted to pursue it but she resisted, citing the distance thing. We kept in touch and emailed almost daily, pretty much excessively as many as 20 times a day (considering we both have office jobs, that wass pushing it I think). About 3 months ago I told her (casually) that I was seeing somebody. She immediately suggested that she was coming to my town and wanted to hang out for awhile. We did. She asked how things were going with the g/f, and I told her they were ok and that we were reaching the make or break point of the relationship. I asked her if she was seeing somebody, and she hesitated (what does the hesitation mean) before saying that she had been seeing somebody for a year. I told her I was happy for her. We had a nice innocent time together. On that following Monday I emailed her and said that I was happy for her that things were going well for her. It’s been a month and she hasn’t really kept in touch AT ALL, not like she used to. Any ideas on what her intentions were and what the heck she is thinking now? Thanks gals, I appreiciate it.

Answer 1

Her hesitation to your question could be that she's lying or that she was unsure if the news of another man would hurt you. If she lied she's probably pissed that you got yourself a woman or if she didn't lie, she's probably just busy with her new guy. If you guys were meant to be together, don't you think the higher up would have made that happen by now? make the most of your new relationship. Your friend will make contact with you again when she needs attention. Good luck with the new girl.

Answer 2

To be honest I think you have become the 'back-up plan', what I mean by this is that you two are great friends, she obviously adores you and thinks of you as a friend, but she isn't romantically interested. If she was romantically interested, she would go through hell and highwater to try and make it work or give it a chance. She clearly has no intention of trying to advance your relationship with her. Being the 'back-up plan' means that she keeps in touch and likes you, last resort and desperation you're the go-to guy for a relationship. It's also possible that she is getting vibes from you that make her think a relationship isn't possible due to what she feels you may want and what she may want and feel you're heading in opposite directions. Either way, you need to either confront her and ask her what her feelings are if you have feelings for her, be honest about your intentions and see where things go. Things are obviously strained and she has not kept in touch with you, which could mean back off and leave me alone. Women are hard to figure out, I'd just leave her alone for now and when she comes around next time take heed and proceed with caution.
I wish you luck, find someone else though. :)

Answer 3

Just an hour away and you call that long distance? If it were true love, it wouldn't be. It sounds like if she doesn't have anyone better to do, then she will pursue you. When you told her you had a g/f and then all of a sudden she comes running, she wondered if she made a mistake. If someone else wants you, maybe you are worth having. Now she's gone on with her life because she has a b/f at the moment...but I bet dollar to donuts she'll be calling again when there is no one else. You are young, you will find the girl of your dreams, just keep looking. (Actually, it is when you give up and stop looking they find you, lol)

Answer 4

Well soldier, that depends on the nature of your relationship now. Are you two getting along? Are there children involved? Has infidelity been an issue before? Is there abuse or neglect in the relationship? Being in a war could bring about some major psychological issues for yourself. If you've ever been there before, or know someone who has, then you know of what I speak, and that definitely has a strong bearing in a relationship. Make sure you do what you can to clear your mind of negative experiences and events that could manifest as abuse, avoidance, or non-communication to your loved ones. Take an honest look into what's going on now in the relationship, and what needs improvement. If your relationship is truly solid and faithful, I don't see any reason she couldn't or shouldn't stay with you, no matter the distance or time table. Best wishes, peace & safety to you and your comrades.

Answer 5

well i think that she really wants to be with you but she was playing a little on the hard side. I dont think she has been with someone for a year maybe she said that because you told her you were seeing someone. I've been there done that. It hurts when you love someone and you cant tell them how you really feel cause you are afraid of what they will say and the opprotunity passed you by when the other person found someone else and all along they really loved you but it was to late cause you didnt say anything. If you love her tell her exactly how you feel in an email or on the phone. poor your heart out tell her you have loved her for years that theres been other girls but no one can compare to her. that she is the one that has been in your heart and your mind all this time and you want to give it a shot. MY GOSH the worst she could say is that she just wants to be friends.

Answer 6

An hour? That's it. Any girl not willing to drive an hour isn't worth it. I wish that the person I cared about lived that close. 1 hour is alot closer than 1,000 miles. At 34, if you can't drive 1 hour for love, then you're not worth while. And to be honest. I stopped reading your entry after a few lines because that's an easy one when you're in my situation. Be done with that GIRL and get going on a new WOMAN!

Answer 7

Yeah I have an idea. Hesitant meant she kinda was seeing someone, probably not serious.

At first she wanted to pursue the old friend. But she still wanted to purse things with you.

Now is leaving you alone cause you are taken. And since you moved forward it shows you don't want to be with her.

Women are the craziest ... but I like the wisest! :o)

Answer 8

k, 1st of all, thanx 4 realizing that girls r smarter. 2nd, if shez trying 2 make u change 4 somethin that ur not even sure about than i dont think shez the gurl 4 u. dont give up, though! there is some1 out there 4 evey1!

ps: hesitation w/ us either means we r embarrased 2 tell the truth ( which is the most common) or, we dont want some1 2 get hurt.

bye, hope i wuz SOME help!

Answer 9

Sometimes us girls like you and do not want anyone else To be with you even though we are not with you ourselves. Women are very wishy/washy. I think that when you said that you were "seeing somebody" she immediately pulled back because that gave her and excuse to leave with out looking suspicious. But what she did not realize is that it id just the opposite especially sense she did it so fast. Give her the space that she wants...but just did not have the courage to ask for. Wait a few months, then e-mail her. Make her miss you. Women like a challenge just like men do.

Answer 10

Hmmm. Its hard to know what she was thinking exactly... but it seems like, she wanted a relationship in the beginning but not enough to do the long distance thing. I would say that she feels like you have moved on, and that because you said you were happy for her, was ok for her to move on to.

She probably doesnt want to pursue something she thinks you both have moved on from.