The English language joke?

Question

The English Language

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

Answer 1

good one.

Answer 2

English is one of the more difficult languages. French has many rules with some exceptions, English has some rules and is mostly exceptions. Rules make it easier to learn a language. Your right about the French fries, although it's not English (chips, fries) but American. That's why the French must have had a good laugh about " Freedom Fries"

Answer 3

That was awsome dude! You should write a book, you could make a ton of money. The english language is pretty confusing but once you get the hagof it, it's not so bad because hardly anyone every uses proper english. See ya(you).
lol

Answer 4

Some of those aren't that interesting. Nowhere in the definition of a ring does it say that it has to be a circle. Also, we add 'er' to the end of some verbs to make them nouns but that doesn't mean that some nouns can end in 'er' without being modified verbs.

Answer 5

Sum Ting Wong~ lol

thanks tho...:-)

Answer 6

haha! right. i hate our language, its so difficult. I mean, how do they expect foreigners to come here and learn it but i still dont know what half of it means myself??? maybe its just me, but our language is too difficult.

Answer 7

this man's a copycat. i saw this just a few days before in the UK & Ireland section and here's the original link:
http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AgrBD1.kjPbS9KgZMiOXMt2QHQx.?qid=20061120063142AAECIcr

Answer 8

Very cool!! Anymore?

Answer 9

Pretty long but interesting

Answer 10

We are very confusing people aren't we!!!! That's great!!!! I do feel sorry for anyone who has to learn our language!!!

Answer 11

Never thought about it that way! Cool!