My son's father has not had any contact with me since I was 4 months pregnate, by his own choice. He has no idea when my son was born or even what his name is. He is not even on the birth certificate because state law mandates that the father be present to have his name on the birth certificate. I would like to patition the courts for formal custody, just in case his father ever decides to track me down. But I am not 100% sure he is the father and I know the courts will want a fathers name and they will seek a paturnity test if I am not positive on who the father is. My major problem is the other possible father know the man who I'm pretty sure is my son's father. I was in contact with him awhile back but he made no effort to help pay for a paturnity test and didn't want to see my son unless he knew for sure that he was the father. SO how do I get formal custody from the courts without the potencial daddies finding out. #1 is a druggie and alcoholic #2 is a good guy and a great father.
2006-11-29 08:51:38 · 15 answers · asked by Angie 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
If your his birth mother and yours is the only name on the childs birth papers you already have formal custody as for if these guys come back and want to be daddy again before the child is 18 slap them with a child support lawsuit they'll go away again and after that it won't matter
now if you want sole custody which is what you actually want then go to court and plea your case before a judge I know in my area it can't be done without both parents present or atleast a legal representative for both people actually in the court room.
My advice to you is call up your lawyer and have them start up the papers in your area it could just be a signiture on the paper and done but the father will find out at some point and could if you do this in secret turn around and take you to court then you'll have a big custody case which shouldn't be to hard to win but could be costly Find out who the daddy is tell them you want sole custody and if they don't have a problem then it shouldn't take more then 3days to 2 weeks max
2006-11-29 09:09:11 · answer #1 · answered by topgunpilot22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, you have full custody of your baby right now. You will have full custody until the "Father" wants any type of visitation, in which he will have to get a lawyer to do so, & then if it be decided, that's where the joint custody or even sole custody is determined. There is no "Father" on the birth certificate, so nothing is legal & their is no such thing as joint custody if their is no signature.
If you do get a lawyer for full custody, in which you will have to get one, then the judge will order visitation to the "Father" & order child support if not already being paid.
If you want any type of child support, go to your local Child Support Dept. or even the DA's office & file for child support. When you get to court the judge will ask the "Father" if there is a need for a paternity test, if so will be done per your cost. (Unless state paid)
There is a girl here in the town I live that was with X for X yrs, he got worried about the 5 children he was helping raise & took her to court. Needless to say he was not the "Father" of any of them. She ended up having like 15-20 guys in there taking paternity tests!!!!
Good Luck!!
2006-11-29 09:16:54 · answer #2 · answered by yu247365 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sole custody is an attempt to take someones share of custody, so of course the courts are going to notify him (or hims) they DA will pay for the paternity test, and let you know the results, so you can serve the right person. Just call up the child support division at your DA's office and they will get you set up as a support case. I know that some girls lie and say they don't know who could be the dad, but if you do that, than the real dad always has the right to come back and want custody, since he was not told it was being given to you
2006-11-29 08:59:12 · answer #3 · answered by aprilnicole1979 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a part time birth-mom mentor for an adoption agency and I have also been to court over custody of my children three times. You will have to notify the father. If you cannot find him or your atty. cannot find him to serve process, they will put a legal ad in the paper by his home address and if he does not respond to that then the custody will go to you by default. Physical custody is 80 percent of the battle and you already have that and can prove that you are taking care of your child. Go for it and good luck girl!
2006-11-29 09:21:05 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had to do this exact same thing. What happens is that a notice is posted in the paper where you believe the father is living (In IL it has to be in the same county) It says something like "The unknown father(s) have to contact the court within x amount of days to object to blah blah blah. You have to get a lawyer though, to go thru with all of this. It lists the unknown father(s) names too. So if he reads the classified part of the paper he might see it & do something about it or not. I really had to do the same thing--my daughter has never met her bio dad but she is WAAAY better off without him!! So, your first step is to get a lawyer. It will cost about 400-600 to do all of this but if its what you want then go for it!
2006-11-29 09:01:59 · answer #5 · answered by Sugar Magnolia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though he is just a "sperm donor " to you-the court will see the case with no emotional aspect. So you really have no control sweetie-but if he is like you say he is-then why bother? He will likely not be involved anyway. I believe you mean sole custody-which means you will be the only legal guardian or parent. Good luck!
2006-11-29 09:03:23 · answer #6 · answered by dodlydink 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to the court...tell them you want full custody of your child. the father has not ever seen the child and is not around.they may have you place addin paper where you last believed him to be.
good luck with that. where i live ..there is a clause that states if a parent has not been in any way involved with the child for over 3 years,and you do not know where he is you may ask the court for full custody and to remove the parental rights completely of the absent parent.
2006-11-29 09:02:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oooh toughie....but u first need to find out who the father is. Test guy #2 first and if he's not then u know who it is. Eventually he will find out u want custody because he will have to be served. After paternity is established the father will also then owe u child support weather he chooses to be around or not. Good luck to u!
2006-11-29 08:57:03 · answer #8 · answered by [un]bro/ken 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't but just ask an attorney to have court award you full and complete custody of child.
very unlikely the father will see any print that may appear in paper pertaining such action..
why would he even be looking?
attorney knows how to handle this..
don't try to snooker him by hiding or court may later give visitation rights.
do it open and totally legal.
2006-11-29 09:01:50 · answer #9 · answered by cork 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you didn't mention who had custody now ( there is no informal custody ) if you have your son and nobody is contesting it the deed is done
and a potential parent can always sue for custody there is nothing to prevent that
2006-11-29 08:55:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋