Families and Depression?

Question

I need to know if I should tell my family (specifically my mother) that I've been diagnosed with Major Depression and Schizophrenia?

The reason I ask is that I've tried to tell her before and she denied that I was depressed. Now that I'm getting help I feel guilty that I haven't told her something so important.

If I should...how?

Thanks

If for any reason I am unable to take care of myself my husband would then step in and take care of me and what attention I need. He has priority over my parents...or at least I should hope so since we are married.

Answer 1

I think you need to tell your family, because in default of your own ability to take care of yourself, they might be the ones who end up making decisions about your care for you.

This is not something you should be dealing with on your own. I would suggest that your psychiatric care person/team might be able to suggest a way for you to get through to your mother. Perhaps she or other family members might be able to participate in counseling or therapy sessions with you.

What she needs to understand is that what you are telling her is not necessarily an attack on her parenting you, as in an accusation that she caused or somehow brought about your illness. If you and your mother have a history of not getting along well or communicating well, then you definitely need to involve a professional counselor in this.

With your diagnosis, you definitely need to give some thought as to who might become responsible for decisions regarding your care should something happen that requires someone else to assume responsibility for you. The default is to family members, and this may not be what you want. If it isn't, you need to find out how to arrange things so that the person you choose is legally empowered to make decisions for you should need arise. Your psychiatric care team should be able to assist you in this.

Good luck and take care. Be well!

Answer 2

Depression isn't contagious. Granted, if one person has clinical depression it will effect the entire family. If you've 'come out of it' I'm betting you aren't the one that has depression, but just sympathetic to that person. How do you make them feel better? Keep a cheery outlook. Stay happy, smile, help when you can. Depression is an actual physical problem. The brain creates chemicals and processes them to keep your mood up. The main chemical, Seratonin is usually where the problem is either the brain isn't creating enough or isn't able to process enough and this causes the depressed sensation. Exercise will create seratonin. Just going for a quick walk can sometimes be enough to raise the levels, done regularly it will fight depression. In worse cases, a doctor or psychiatrist should be contacted. There are medications available that will help create seratonin and help the brain to use it. Keep positive, that's the best thing right now. If you start feeling down, do some jumping jacks, enough to get your heart pumping, make yourself breathe a little harder. Give your brain a little kick of seratonin.

Answer 3

I think Schizophrenia is a serious illness and it is definitely something your loved ones should be made aware of, particularly in case of an emergency. A few months ago I told my mom I was getting treatment for depression with medication after I had been getting treatment for a little while simply because there have been changes I have been making in my life to reduce the depression so much so that I thought she should know why. Particularly because she has suffered from depression, but never sought treatment.

Perhaps depression is coming from your father's side of the family, but at any case, don't allow your mom to pretend like you are fine, that doesn't help.

Answer 4

I think that telling a loved one can be one of the hardest things in the world to do. I think that you should tell her because she's your mom but most people who suffer from these things usually the family has it and just doesn't know. When I told my parents i was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, my dad was like oh okay anything I can do, but my mom still denies that there is anything wrong with me, its just life, and she definately had nothing to do with it. Parents have a hard time realizing that their kids might have serious problems, for no apparent reason. Especcially when we act one way and feel another.
The best thing for you to do is tell her, invite her to one of your appointments. She'll accept you either way, she doesn't have to accept your diagnosis. But I am sure if you just tell her the truth she'll hopefully understand.

I agree with UsulaV She' your mom, she thinks you're perfect... Don't feel guilty... :) Smile

Answer 5

If she is in denial, tell her once, and let it go. If she starts denying it, either change the subject or leave. You don't need the stress of having to convince a relative who doesn't want to accept it.

My family refuses to deal with major psychiatric illness, even after my uncle spent 25 years in the state hospital. I've been hospitalized eight times. They refuse to accept or discuss it and that's fine with me.

More important than your parents will be your children should you someday have them. some mental illnesses are genetic and you might want to keep your eye on your children, especially once they reach their late teens.

You are extremely fortunate with the advances in medications. I'll assume that you're on an antipsychotic as well as an antidepressant. Just watch out for the side effects. Many antipsychotics can cause (in some cases, as a side-effect) diabetes or other illnesses. Still, that's better than the Tardive Dyskinesia that affected many patients with the earlier neuroleptics.

I wish you luck, and if you're looking for web resources, let me know and I'll point you to some.

Answer 6

You can tell her that you have been diagnosed, but don't expect her to jump on board with support because it sounds like she is in denial or possibly feeling guilty or ashamed. Talk to your therapist or doctor ahead of time about how and when to tell mom. But don't make it a big production either - just tell her you've been diagnosed with depression and schizophrenia, and are getting help. End of story. If she wants to engage you in some kind of debate or argument, invite her to visit your therapist or doctor with you, or drop it and tell her you aren't willing to argue with her over it at this time.

Answer 7

I have always suspected my daughter has depression. It can be hereditary, and it is possible that someone in your family - possibly mom's side - has had this problem. Which is probably why your mother seems to be in denial. I would try to talk to her, and if that doesn't work, ask her to go with you to a doctor's appointment. Sometimes, the burden of proof lies with others. Most important - DON'T FEEL GUILTY - it's not your fault. She's your mom - to her you are perfect.

Answer 8

That's hard because people who have never experienced depression don't understand it. They tend to think it's some sort of cop out or an excuse not to deal with problems. When I told my mom about my depression, she thought it was a load of crap - it really made me feel awful. I don't bother talking to her about it anymore.

I'm glad you're getting help. I don't think there's a problem with keeping that info to yourself. But if you really feel like you need to tell your family, just brace yourself for skeptical reactions. They may not understand, but they will probably still support you anyway.

Answer 9

Honestly, its dangerous for her not to be supportive esp your mom & you should tell her. Then say to her what would it take for you to believe that i'm depressed? Would i have to actually commit suicide?
I understand how you feel and i think that your mom denied it because she was in denial and just didn't want to think that her child is depressed.
i think that you should just take your meds and hand them to her. Then she will prob either say what is this or she will know. Don't use any words just hand her your meds. Then, ask her if she would please help you instead of telling you that you aren't depressed.

Answer 10

Take her out for dinner go to the moives and explain to her how your getting help and soon it will go back to normal. Shes not mad shes hurt no mother wants to know there child has a illness. Its hurtful. Give her time. Let her see your still the same person as before. lol