My boyfriend of 3 years has the worst friends. They are druggies, girlfriend beaters, and will do anything for a sex. The last of this group of friends will be turning 21 soon and my boyfriend got the idea for him and all his friends go out to a casino and party one night. I am not okay with this. I am going crazy. He hates casinos. He hates wasting money also which is why I am so worried about it. If it was with someone else then I would be okay, I just do NOT like these friends. They are seriously bad people that do bad things. I am afraid of what they will be doing.
I am totally against strip clubs, porn, drugs, all that type of stuff.
Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Do I need to confront him on it or should I just keep it to myself and let him live his life?
He has also been acting really weird lately. Not wanting sex, or basically not even wanting to kiss me. I am so confused, worried, and I can't concentrate on anything else.
2006-11-29 08:30:59 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you have every right to be concerned, i would be too. the choices you make with regards to what your against are your right to make. it seems like your man is friends with a rotten bunch of guys but ultimately he is a man and if he stoops to their level then he is just as bad as they are. i really feel for you because i can really relate to your situation. i am sure you really love him and are not ready quite yet to give up on things. you need to deal with him over the sex issue and get to the bottom of that because thats where alot of your insecurities come from. when it comes to his friends i will tell you from experience that the more you express how much you dislike them the more he will want to be friends with them simply because he is a man and doesnt want to be controlled by you. you're going to need to bite your tongue on the friend issue and play it smart. you are going to have to act as though the issues with his friends is not there and if he is going to have some fun with then why shouldnt you go out with your girlfriends and have a great time without him. act confident and secure despite how you really feel and that will grab his attention. let him wonder whats going on with you and why you seem so happy. fake it til you make it whether its with or without him. the odds are in your favor if play it cool and if after a while things dont improve and you're still unhappy you need to move on. time will only tell where your relationship is headed but do not compromise your morals and values so he can live his life and have a good woman like yourself. just keep your eyes and ears open for anything out of the ordinary but try not to let it consume you because that alone can ruin what may be left of your relationship.
2006-11-29 09:08:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
It is a bit strange that he would prefer their company to being with you. Some guys need the space once in awhile but this is an every weekend thing with him. Does he tell you what he's doing? I think you are questioning if there is hanky-panky going on. Is there any way he could take you with him on one of these get-away nights to reassure you he's being honest? I wouldn't be able to put up with the fact of not knowing. You said you are tired of fighting..that doesn't sound good. Maybe you should take some time away from him and look at the whole picture. What would he think if you told him you could only see him on certain days? Give this some serious thought and you may just want to move on. There's no reason for him to be this way with you. Good Luck!
2016-03-29 16:09:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to hurt your feelings but, obviously he likes going to Casinos and Gambling. If not he wouldn't have brought up the idea.....I had an X that stopped kissing me, didn't want to have sex, fought with me on purpose over little things to make it an excuse to go out and do his thing. I didn't want to admit and face the truth that he was possibly cheating. Cause I was stuck in my own bubble, love is blind even after my friends told me he was no good and I know they weren't on some misery loves company level. I just didn't want to face the truth and I was worried when he went out, I would'nt be able to eat sleep etc....Your not wrong at all for feeling this way trust your instinct and use your logical sense. I used to think ok I don't want to hold him down and not live his life cause than he WON'T want to be with me....well I gave him two inches and he decided to take twelve.....you don't want to go out with someone like this....it only hurts you more and more the longer you stay.....your better off letting him go. He's not going to change at this point in his life or maybe never. You could talk to him about it but most likely he's going to fight with you and do what he wants anyway. Do you really want to be with someone that doesn't want to be affectionate towards you....he has a guilty conscious probaly and I do believe it is because the fact that he is cheating on you theres a chance he might not be (I would say slim to none though), cause I don't know the kid maybe he has some major problems right now but he could at least talk to you about it. Trust, honesty and communication is key!!!! Well good luck and do whats best for you. In my opinion I wouldn't waste no more time than you already have.....and if you do dump him he might try to run back to you......but its ONLY cause its something he can't have and he LOVES the chase probaly not you. Sorry to hurt your feeling but I have been in the same exact boat PS: My X goes to the casino all the time and gambles.....Well good luck!!!!!!
2006-11-29 08:57:07 · answer #3 · answered by April 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, coming from an expert on this type of stuff (I'm a guidance counslor) i would try to explain to him,how you're feeling.For instance if you don't like how he's using the drugs then maybe you should dump him because any guy that's addicted isn't worth your life!!You should to start off tell him to go ahead then find out where he's going exactly. Then you should show up there and act all surprised. Good luck with him and I hope you get it straightened out!!!
<333 Charolette the Guidance counslor!
2006-11-29 08:37:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems strange that he wants to go to a casino when he doesn't like them. Especially since it was his idea, also he has been ignoring you, acting wierd. Did you come on here to find out about whether to let him go to the casino, or did you come to get someone to point out what im sure your really worried about? Sounds to me very suspect, maybe he is having an affair, which im fairly sure you are beginning to suspect! Confront him about how he has been acting, you need to get to the bottom of this before it goes too far. Something is up and you need to find out what!
2006-11-29 08:36:43 · answer #5 · answered by Jonny 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
guys are always going to have friend you despise and don't like.. if all guys were nice charming gentlemen.. then well it wouldn't be so hard to find one right? that's just another sad fact in life we're going to live with.
I think you should tell him how you feel about things and maybe ask him how would he feel if he were you. it's not good to bottle things up. with my boyfriend we made a deal.. I said whatever you do, I can do too. I let him go to a strip club with his friends and when my friends asked me to go he flipped out! he really wanted me to say no so he could tell his guy friends, and then by him flipping out to my friends asking me, we established that stip clubs are just simply off limits.
I can definitely see why you're concerened, but you also have to have trust. trust that your man isn't doing all these bad things and that he's just going because, well, there his friends.
as for him not wanting you lately, maybe he's been sensing some awkwardness or weirdness about you because of you getting so upset about it that he's turned off, or maybe it's just all in you head.
bottom line. talk to him and tell him how you feel. hope I've been helpful!
2006-11-29 08:50:35 · answer #6 · answered by .:*giggles*:. 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's kind of evil to be against something as natural as porn.......drugs, wasting money, strip clubs, all completely normal there and have every right to be against it......but pshhh, porn helps relationships far more than they harm it lol. Tell him to get some new friends or you'll start finding new ones of your own............I'd say an ultimatum's in order because I wouldn't want my gf hanging around the wrong crowd like that.
Also, it wouldn't be a bad thing if they weren't influencing his behavior as you said they are now......who knows what step he may take next.
2006-11-29 08:34:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ask him what's going on and tell him how you feel about that. Or flip that around. That might be better. I don't know the only thing I'm 100% positive is stay away from them. That is not good to hang around those kind of people.
2006-11-29 08:34:46 · answer #8 · answered by Kayla [(Adam)] 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's not acting weird he's distancing himself from your psychotic possessive ways. Too many rules makes bf a dull boy. You need to grow up, stop being so controlling and let people learn from their own mistakes. His friends and habits might not be what you go for but they are obviously what he likes and if you can't deal with it then maybe its time to move on to someone who is more compatible w/ you.
2006-11-29 08:38:15 · answer #9 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are not wrong for feeling like this and your boyfriend is not worth your time. get out of this situation and fast. if you don't, it could lead to your boyfriend convincing you to join in or mistreating you like he does the women at the clubs he goes to. if you are afraid to break up with him, bring someone you feel safe with and have them watch from a distance so that he won't see the person and feel intimidated. i hope you safely get out of this situation.
2006-11-29 08:37:11 · answer #10 · answered by Ask Tara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋