My brother (early 20s) has been released after two years in prison. He is currently living with me. I want to help him lead a different life to the one that resulted in him being locked up. How can I support and help him in leading a productive life?
I will be expecting him to put effort in to help himself, and he certainly can not have everything given to him on a plate.
2006-11-29 07:37:09 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law Enforcement & Police
Teach by example...the very things you do that make you a good person are the simple things he too should do...work hard, save money, educate himself where appropriate...
The important thing for your brother to do is set goals for himself...what does he want out of life? both long-term and short-term...then figure out what he needs to do to obtain those goals and break it down into tasks...
Make sure each task has some sort of short term goal that will act as a reward...
And just love the heck out of him too...be patient and never, ever, ever give up on him...even if he gives up on himself...your brother might just be that cross you're expected to bear...
Best wishes,
Billy!
2006-11-29 07:47:18 · answer #1 · answered by Billy! 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband has been in federal prison for 26 years. Yes, there's a lot of prejudice out there, and I'm personally amazed to see all the good people writing in to you about this. Usually there is negative response to questions like this, per your "lower life form" remark. THAT is what I'm used to. No one will ever be the same after going to prison. For the third-generation gang-bangers, it's a way of life, and they aren't going to change. Prison doesn't rehabilitate, it simple warehouses people. However, smart people quickly learn that it hell on earth, and they never, ever want to go there again. They have an appreciate for freedom, and for choices, that most people never learn. In the prison world, two years is nothing, but to your brother, it was the longest two years of his life. Like war veterans, he has seen things he will never want to talk about. He won't be able to sleep at night, and he won't trust people right away, because he has seen the worst. So try to look beyond his actions you may not understand, work with him and be patient. Also be patient when people are nasty about his convict status. The general public has no idea what prison is really like, and what it took for your brother to survive those two years. Turn the other cheek when people make stupid remarks, for his sake. The term "scared straight" often applies to these younger guys, and I hope your brother was one of the smart ones. Good luck to him, you and your family.
2016-05-23 02:42:49 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help him to get a job, and if he already has a job, help him to stay busy after work.
90% of the people that go back to prison do so because they end up running with the same people that got them to do bad stuff in the first place. If you keep him busy or help him find alternative activities to what he used to do (like drugs, just hanging out looking for trouble, etc), that would go a long way towards helping him stay on the straight and narrow.
Finally, if you go to church, please take him with you. He needs all the love and acceptance he can get, and church is usually a good place to get it.
Best of luck to you.
2006-11-29 08:21:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't expect him to be his old self & don't tell him to let the past go & stop talking about life in jail. It's gonna take years for him to get those sounds & daily rituals out of his daily life. If you can't stand hearing about what he went through, then guide him to a place that has meetings or counseling sessions for ex-cons to talk about not talking about jail life in a way that will be healthy for him to stay away from his life before jail. Perhaps the parole department could help you to find a support group that could help you to understand what your brother has gone through. Keep him busy enough to stay out of trouble & don't expect him to be happy about being free. He is going to go through depression & this is when he will be a "sitting duck" for the others to drag him back into his old lifestyle. It is hard staying "straight" & in the end he will be the only one who makes those life decisions that will affect everyone in his life. Make sure he knows that he is not alone in this world. It just could make the difference between his staying out or going back in. Honestly, HE probably won't be as much of a problem as the other people that he met while he was in prison. They do their time & start looking for their old prison buddies, causing more trouble for everyone involved. Keep an eye out for the "others".
2006-11-29 08:33:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Friend Joe - Do your best to turn his life towards the pursuit of good. Get him in school. Involve him in healthy activities. Most of all praise him when he does good and love him no matter what. GBY
2006-11-29 07:41:11 · answer #5 · answered by Dust in the Wind 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Support him emotionally. Don't have him constantly under a watchful eye and just assume that he will go bad again. Think positive of him.
2006-11-29 07:45:28 · answer #6 · answered by Mariposa 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
help him get some job skills. college courses or adult education classes, this will give him self esteem and focus. you are doing a wonderful thing, don't hesitate to ask for help from the rest of your family if you need to!
2006-11-29 07:45:43 · answer #7 · answered by Jen 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take him to church. That would be a great start!
2006-12-04 06:52:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is up to him to want to change. You cannot change anyone who refuses to change.
2006-11-30 00:26:29 · answer #9 · answered by WC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just treat him fair
don't pre judge him
2006-11-29 07:50:31 · answer #10 · answered by wil_t52 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋