We've been together for 3 and half years, we moved in together in a house 6 months ago and everything has been going great. I'm a very laid back guy but I just don't want hardcore drugs in my life or my relationships. She doesn't know I know about her LSD use but I'm 100% sure she has done it a couple times in the recent past. I love her a lot and I plan on speaking with her about it but I have a feeling that she'll keep doing it anyway.
I've told her in the past that I don't want these types of drugs in our relationship and she's been doing them anyway. I've asked her before if she's done them and she said no. So she has lied to me about her drug use and I don't think I can trust her anymore. Even if I do forgive her, the trust or lack thereof might later break apart the relationship anyway. I'm just at a loss. When I talk to her, should I forgive her or just break up?
2006-11-29 07:34:35 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Communication before rash decisions is best. You must care about her. Tell her that you know that she is using and that this is hurting you as well as her. The lies and deception are causing a rift between you two. You have discussed this before and let her know where you stand. Let her know that you love her and want to be there for her. Tell her for this to work trust is paramount. Best wishes for a solution. Be true to yourself!
2006-11-29 07:46:50 · answer #1 · answered by firefly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like this is about trust, not drugs tho. Nobody would blame you if you broke up with her for lying. The thing that always scares me about catching a lie, is how many others have you NOT caught? Then again, love and forgiveness are a matched pair, you have to forgive if you love. On another note, I don't believe LSD should be put in the same category as crack or heroine. It's not addictive and loses it's apeal when you do it too much. Also it's an intellectual high full of discovery and can be a life enriching experience.
2006-11-29 07:45:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's putting drugs over you, it doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't love you. It doesn't take away from the significance of the relationship. As many know, drugs begin as a choice, but after much use, they become an addiction, and what the users perceive as a necessity. Having been close with a few addicts, I know that certain drugs have a "hold" on the user, and make the user believe in the priority of the drug over anything else in life. I don't mean to call your girlfriend an addict, my intention is not to insult at all, but, if she is in fact addicted (in your opinion), then I wouldn't suggest leaving her. If you love her, then I'd suggest helping her however you can. Talk to her, and if need be, get her some professional help, through a counselor, rehab, detox, or whatever you see fit.
I really think leaving her if she has an addiction is a poor choice. Try and help her through it, and hopefully your relationship, her health, and both of you can be happy and healthy together.
Best of luck.
2006-11-29 07:44:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to accept her for who she is. If you have a loving and wonderful relationship than why would you want to destroy it. "A couple times in the recent past" doesn't seem like that big a deal. If LSD is running her life and causing your relationship some ugly bumps and cracks, confrontation is necessary. But if you have noticed a rise in communication, empathy, or even just the symbiosis between the two of you as of recent, perhaps LSD is to thank...
Also you should read up on all those "hardcore" drugs, you may be surprised to learn that two of the hardest are... cigarettes and alcohol.
2006-12-01 11:50:57 · answer #4 · answered by Popeye The Ladies Man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were honest and up front about your feelings regarding illicit drug use. She has lied to you. That is not a satisfactory relationship. You're right about the trust issue. Even if she promised to never use again, how will you be able to trust her? If you catch her using again, then what? If she lies about that then what else is she willing to lie about? You deserve someone that is truly interested in you and your feelings. She doesn't sound like the girl for you.
2006-11-29 07:40:06 · answer #5 · answered by Didi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no space in a healthy relationship for lies. Even white lies are damaging. I fyou know f her lies as a fact confront her and work her problem out with her. She might not even be a heavy drug user and just experimenting. You need to open that line of communication. She sounds young. I did that stuff at a young age and as great as it is I still grew out of it.
2006-11-29 07:39:13 · answer #6 · answered by Jimena S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you still love her then no, by all means stay with her! you may be able to help here with her addiction. talk to her about her problem, explain to her your concern. Tell her how much it would hurt you if she got hurt of worse. Of course, never get caught in the trap of doing it urself. Talk to a close adult friend who knows the situation and can help you. If she becomes hostile and will not listen to you, then it might not be a healthy relationship for either of you, then you might consider getting out of it.
2006-11-29 07:38:47 · answer #7 · answered by Sam Hunley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will need you more than ever to quit if she has a drug problem. You should try to get her into some sort of drug counciling, or any other type of help. Dont pretend it isn't happening, but don't abandon her.
2006-11-29 07:37:49 · answer #8 · answered by elcidiv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give her atleast one more chance man, if you really love her.. After that, there really is no point.. same thing happened to me and my gf a year ago, except she was stuck on weed... i still think about her all the time, but i couldn't accept the fact of her being a stoner and living with me
2006-11-29 07:37:14 · answer #9 · answered by catsarecool 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go into this discussion with a plan other than uncovering the truth. Let her say her piece, too, and go from there.
2006-11-29 07:37:02 · answer #10 · answered by randyken 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋