How can I get my daughter to sleep through the night ?

Question

When I put her down in her crib she stands right up and starts crying this pitiful cry...the kind that yanks your heart out. Do I just shut the door and leave? Does the 5 minute interval method work? (coming back every 5 mins to console her)

I've tried letting her cry it out an it's absolutely heart wrenching to both of us. We've even given her a bottle in the middle of the night because she asks for it and she won't take it unless it's milk. I know it's a no-no. HELP! I don't get any sleep!

Answer 1

We did the cry it out method when our first baby was 9 months old. It was the hardest thing to do!! She cried/screamed for almost 45 minutes the first night, 25 minutes the second and less than 5 minutes the third night. I cried the whole time she cried because I flet so quilty. But, with that said, once we let her settle down on her own, she sleeps better, eats better during the day and is a happier kid all around. She's almost 3 now and still goes to bed fairly easily. We also have an 8 week old and I will do the same with her if needed. Once your daughter settles down, give it 15 or 20 minutes and go and check on her to make sure she's asleep. But, if she starts to cough and make choking sounds, go check on her. After screaming for awhile, they're mouth and throat will get dry and then they start to cough. Give her a sippy cup or bottle with some water in it and she'll learn to have a sip if she needs it.

If you go in to check on them every 5 minutes, it confuses them why you keep coming in and leaving again. Everyone I know that tried that, gave up after a couple of days and let them cry until they fell asleep.

Good luck!! It's tough but it works!!

Answer 2

Hello, I have three children and all are put down awake and get themselves off to sleep. Even my 16 month old. I WILL TELL YOU MY SECRET! my husband is a lazy **** and my kids have taken after him. Not really, well the bit about my kids is a lie. I found it really hard with my youngest. The way I cracked it was by putting him down, letting him cry for 2 minutes, then going in and comforting him. Once he was settled I would put him back down. He would always start crying immediately but I would then leave him for 4 minutes and go back in then calm him. Put him back when calm and increase the intervals by 2 minutes at a time. Could take 1 hour could take all night. Had to do this every night for 5 days but then he realized just because i was leaving him didn't mean i wasn't coming back. All kids go through a separation distress at any time between 9 months to around three years old. But one thing I was told to remember, if you start don't give up because all those minutes of distress you have put your child through will be for nothing, and that is just cruel. Good luck, if you don't want to do this there is nothing wrong with loving her to sleep. You cant spoil a child with love!.

Answer 3

We have a 13 month old that was the same exact way. Last week we bought a book (Solving you Child's Sleep Problems by Dr. Ferber) and have been using the 'Ferber' method which is sort of like the 5 minute interval (the intervals gradually get longer). We have been doing this now for about a week and it has been working great!! Naps are still hard, but the night has gone amazingly well.
We used to rock him to sleep every night, we tried letting him cry it out, but after 40 minutes he was still crying and it does yank out your heart.
So we tried this new method and the first night took 45 minutes (and checking in on him about 3 times). The next night he was asleep in 13 minutes. The next night it took only 3 minutes for him to sleep on his own!! I would definitely suggest picking up the book! It worked for us!

Answer 4

Awww...I totally know how you feel. The 5 minute interval thing DOES help. I know it's totally heart-wrenching to listen to them cry, but you will need to be strict for a while. If you really stick to your guns, it will actually take less time than you think to put and end to it. I used to put my son in the crib, and then go out and sit in the hallway (and cry right along with him) for 5 minutes. (I actually timed it on a watch.) Then I would go in, and NOT pick him up, but just stroke his head a little and go "Shhhhh..." but for NO MORE than about 30 sec. JUST ENOUGH to let him know that I was still there. Then back out in the hall for another 5 min. The next night, I upped it to 7 min, then the next night it was 10 min. By the third night, he started giving up on the crying sooner, and falling asleep sooner. Whatever you do, do NOT pick her up, do NOT give her a bottle, and do NOT stay in the room for more than 30 sec when you go in to comfort them. Also...don't TALK to them. Just "Shhhhh...".

For more help, try reading a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. I, and all my friends swear by it's advice.

Answer 5

Cut down on her day-time naps, make sure she's really tired before she goes to bed, turn on some soft music, use a night light, leave the door ajar and most of all LEAVE HER BE - DO NOT CONSOLE HER. By you running in there every 5 minutes, to console her, is only teaching her bad habits. Give her milk before she goes to bed and NO bottle in bed.
Let her cry - when she sees you're not in there every 5 minutes - she'll settle down and go to sleep. Once you get her through this, and a couple of years in the future, have another child - then you'll know how to toughen up and be a real parent.

Answer 6

How does she go to bed at night? Do you put her in her crib already asleep or awake? We made the huge mistake of letting our daughter fall asleep in our bed and then would put her in her crib. We then switched to rocking her to sleep to get out of the habit of letting her fall asleep in our bed. However, when she would wake up during the night, she always wanted to come in our bed and would cry and cry.

Her pediatrician told us that she doesn't know how to pacify herself and told us to put her to bed awake. I sit beside her crib for a few minutes and sing a few lullabies. I then tell her good night, I love her, and quickly leave the room.

Sometimes she goes right to sleep, but most of the time she will cry out to see if mom or dad caves. I try to wait 10 minutes before going back in there. If I have to go back in, I don't pick her up, I just lay her back down and tell her everything is okay and I'm there and it's time for bed. I'll stroke her head until she's calmed down and then I leave again. Each time I have to go back in, I wait an additional 10 minutes.

I'm not going to lie, in the beginning it took sometimes an hour for her to finally go to sleep. She's a strong willed little girl. It's been a few months now and I haven't had to go back in a second time for a while now. She's usually only cries for a minute or two and is asleep within 15 minutes tops.

It breaks your heart to hear your child cry like that, but babies need routine, boundaries and discipline. It actually helps them feel safe. By her learning to pacify herself to fall asleep at night she can also pacify herself to fall back asleep if she wakes up during the night, so she has gotten into a routine of sleeping through the night.

I hope some of this has helped you. Good luck.

Answer 7

Cut out afternoon naps as possible. Let her play after dinner until she's so tired she'll fall asleep in ur arms while u r watching TV. Easy as that. If all else fails hit her over the head with a ton of bricks, No, No I'm just kidding. Be patient she'll come around if u do what I just suggested.

Answer 8

Are you the mom or is she you need to learn to show her who is the boss it is more comforting to your child. When you put her to bed kiss her goodnight and leave the room. She is going to cry she has learned that mommy and daddy get upset when she crys and that they are going to come back in to talk to me or pick me up and then you have a continuous cycle and everyone is exausted. So my sugjestion is to put her to bed let her cry and if it makes you feel better bring a baby monitor with you turn it off and turn it on when you need to but don't keep it on the whole time she is crying it will break your heart. In the end after a while I can't tell you how long it will work out. Remember she is learning to control mommy and daddy and then you will have a monster on your hands

Answer 9

It's plain you do care deeply about her well being, and you should be commended for that. But you have been trying half measures. A reliable alternative is a teaspoon of chloral hydrate in a glass of warm milk.

Answer 10

It can be hard to let her cry it out, but that's what needs to be done. You can't just go back to console her everytime she cries. She needs to learn how to calm herself in situations like this.

Believe it or not, she's not crying because she's sad that you're leaving her--she's just crying because she knows her crying brings you back in the room. When she sees her crying won't get her that, she'll stop. Let her cry it out. She'll be fine, trust me :-)