I think freedom...i am a bit of a free bird myself and dont like to feel caged,restricted or trapped...my idea here is that if you allow someone to be the person they are without imposing rules and restrictions on them then if they stay and if it works then it is because you are both happy where you are...when you impose rules etc on people surely half the time people only behave a certain way because they feel they must...and that grates...what do you think?
...i am speaking generally but in particular think about fidelity issues as despite the restrictions that society and couples place on each other the statistics show that an extroadinary number of people are unfaithful...men and women...;0)
2006-11-29 07:05:08 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am completley with you on this one she, but that feeling of restriction while being taken, well...theres no other feeling that could beat that in my book!
2006-11-29 07:11:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No doubt about it - Freedom.
The reason is that no one person can really 'own' another. They may be physically present but what goes on in peoples mind is a particularly individual phenomenom.
People who restrict another (or try to) are simply insecure about them finding a more attractive option than the situation they are in, hence the lame need to cling on and impose a set of rules.
Also, it takes significant courage to let someone do their own thing so I would say do your own thing too to match expectations and needs.
When people truly love each other thats who they prefer to be with anyway, so no restrictions necessary so to speak.
Infidelity only comes about when a need is not being met in a relationship, and that is so dependant on beliefs, moral codes, angst, embarrassment, lack of love, lack of desire, repressed and unexpressed needs and so on.
In fact it has been put forward by the guy that wrote Conversations with God that people only act out of two specific emotions, love and fear and that all actions derive from these. I would say repression is fear and freedom is love.
2006-11-29 09:11:31 · answer #2 · answered by Wantstohelpu 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definatly freedom. The catch is to make sure that its known that what is good for the goose is good for the gander. All I ask is that someone treats me the way they would want to be treated.
The best relationship I have now, we've never put restrictions on each other. We're together because we want to be together. Now there's a mutual knowledge that we don't have a desire to be with anyone else. When you are both on the same page, you don't need boundaries.
In the beginning he tried to get a reaction out of me. Talking about how good a girl looks on TV or talked with the boys about going to the strip club and taking home a stripper and smiled at me and asked what I thought. I knew he wanted to see if I would get possesive or freak out. So I spoke up in front of all of them and told him, do what you gotta do babe. I'm not worried about you. You are a grown *** man and you are going to do whatever it is you want to do anyways, so you can cease and dismiss with your little comments, cause they don't phase me. So go out with the boys and have a good time and if you get drunk, take a cab home or call me to pick you up.
Needless to say they were all dumbfounded that I was so cool about it.
He hasn't made those comments since :)
2006-11-29 07:31:07 · answer #3 · answered by jlonva 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Freedom, yes. However, I also feel every relationship should have a set of what I call "ground rules". You should be honest with each other and not abuse the freedom. Meaning, he can go do what he wants, when he wants, but if he and I have plans and he breaks those plans at the last minute, I have a right to get a little po'd about that.
So, be an individual, just don't let them walk all over you....
2006-11-29 07:10:40 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Freedom is best. Restricting people does nothing but annoy and cause fights.
People will do what they will do and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it.
Limits on people's behaviour should only be placed on a person by that person. That is the only way it can work. Speaking of limits being necessary is fine if the person being limited is limiting themselves.--- in a loving relationship that person would naturally limit their behaviour so as not to jeopardize the relationship or hurt their partner.--rules aren't needed common sense is. I do not need to be told that kissing another guy will get my boyfriend mad--A rule forbidding it wouldn't stop me if I were going to do it.
2006-11-29 07:08:45 · answer #5 · answered by artimis 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Freedom ..yes .. but not anarchy .. ;-))
simple rules hurt no one ... but I know that you are talking about very restrictive rules... and maybe having no restrictions is a rule in itself ...that can also be imposed.
I believe that a lot of people would like the idea of no restrictions... but not be able to live with the practicality of it ...only a minority would.
you have to be able to think more than a few weeks ahead .... before agreeing to any sort of relationship restricted or unrestricted ..and most people can't/don't
..and unfortunately feelings always change ...and get in the way ..and people change their minds.
but yeah .. if i didn't feel that I had to be faithful ... I wouldn't ..
Dr bad
2006-11-29 08:58:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
For me I would have to say freedom, if someone doesn't want to stay with you they won't / shouldn't whether you restrict them or not, so you may as-well enjoy the time you have with that person, rather then pushing them away and stressing yourself out!
In reference to the fidelity issues the same goes in my eyes. If someones gonna go and have an affair I think they're probably more likely to do so if they're being restricted!
2006-11-29 08:08:23 · answer #7 · answered by Pork_Purse 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one has the right to restrict or allow another individual anything, they have the right to be who they are. When you go into a relationship just go in being who you are and be up front about it. If you like your freedom then let the other person know. That gives him the opportunity to make the decision as to whether or not that would be acceptable to him.
2006-11-29 07:12:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am all for freedom, but there have to be some rules. If there were no rules in a relationship, then there could never be complete trust. Your idea and my idea of freedom will inevitably be at least a little different, as we are different people, hence there need to be boundaries or rules in place to maintain trust. It's a great idea in theory, don't get me wrong, but I think it precludes any serious or committed relationship.
2006-11-29 07:09:44 · answer #9 · answered by randyken 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow.....You got this really wrong. In order to have a relationship, one must put the person in a room with no windows and a tiny door just big enough to slide a plate of food and a cup of beverage through. The person must NOT have contact with "them outside" and must speak only when spoken to.
Work? You say? Well, they can sit under their desk and answer the phone when I give them permission. They can answer their emails when I say it's appropriate.
So help me, if another woman, girl, mammal, fish or mineral even looks in their direction, I'll get out the hot tar!!
Oh, hang on a minute, I'm thinking of prison.
Nevermind.
2006-11-29 07:16:35 · answer #10 · answered by KD 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you on that one.Sometimes it doesnt work, though, and the people who you trusted and allowed freedom betrays you. But then again they probably would anyways. I myself hate feeling trapped, and believe I choose stay with the person as long as I feel the choice is mine to make. Since I allow the same freedom to people around me, I sometimes feel like trusting fool. But it's all been worth it!
2006-11-29 07:12:00 · answer #11 · answered by Cold Bird 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋