Advice please ! My boyfriend and I live together and have been together off and on for several years. Recently he has started an email relationship with one of the office girls at an office that he supports in Maryland. (We are in California). I have seen one of his emails where he calls her “Babe”. He says that she is only a fantasy and that I shouldn’t be upset by it – that he loves me but that he is not attracted to me physically and this helps him cope because she is young and cute. They IM each other all evening long. I am trying to accept this but it is eating me up. Any advice ?
2006-11-29 06:30:56 · 33 answers · asked by bbwcutey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What?! If your boyfriend is not attracted to you physically, why the heck is he even your boyfriend? Is there some financial incentive? An exclusive relationship between two people usually does not include an option to create an on-line romance. This can't be cool with you. It's incredible that he told you the girl was young and cute and therefore, 'helps him cope.' I'd let the guy cope with life's issues somewhere besides the place where you reside....and very, very far away from me. This is disrepectful conduct and behavior and I find it amazing what some guys try to get away with. You must determine how much you value yourself--he's shown you how little he values you and your relationship. Be glad you found out what he's really like before things get even more serious. At the very least, he's taking alot for granted. Good Luck
2006-11-29 06:36:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The interaction between your boyfriend and another girl is eating you up, and you told him about it and he defended the behavior.
Someone who loves you will not persist in a relationship that is upsetting to you. He has a right to have friends, but a guy who loves you shouldn't have a need to "cope" by calling a "young, cute girl" "Babe" and IMing all night. It's disrespectful to you for him to act this way with another girl.
You need to be more firm about telling him that it really bothers you. Don't yell or start a fight, just tell him that this extracurricular relationship upsets you and ask him to stop. Tell him that you want to be the one to help him cope; assure him that you care about him and that YOU are the one who is there in his life to support him. Invite and encourage him to open up to you about his work stresses and let you be there for him. If he argues, won't stop talking to the other girl (or change the relationship) and does not respect your feelings, time to kick him to the curb. A man that persists in doing something that upsets you that much and that disrespects you is not one you need to keep in your life.
2006-11-29 06:46:42 · answer #2 · answered by secondchild02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he realy means is that he is weak to find someone else to keep company with, maybe someone else will want and demand more,such as marriage, what he means is he found it easy living with you, as u seem to be ok with what he gives u. Don't u feel ur confidence collapsing with what he says. How can any person say to someone he loves that he is not attracted. LET ME ASK U THIS.
TO WHO would u ever say this word, if u are living with someone u don't feel attractive, why would u still stay with him, u don't want him anymore, but it is convenient to stay there.
THIS reminds me of a person who is not willing to accetp the reality of the relationship, lives everyday as it comes and has no efforts for a better life. this is not a succesful person.
Do U WANT TO BE HAPPY AND SUCCESFUL, U START DOING THINGS FOR U, BE KIND TO U, LOVE PEOPLE, MAKE FRIENDS AND FIND UR HAPPYNESS WITHOUT HIM.
2006-11-29 07:00:35 · answer #3 · answered by Julia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find yourself a new boyfriend...who is attracted to you and spends his evenings with you instead of "playing with his young good looking fantasy babe" He is a loser and you can do better! Good luck
There are some really great guys out there I hope you find one this time!
2006-11-29 06:37:10 · answer #4 · answered by Becky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He isn't physically attracted to you!! What a mean thing to say to someone who your in a relationship with. You need to go find someone who will be attracted to you. Who wouldn't be upset if there boyfriend was giving another women the attention you should get. Leave him.
2006-11-29 06:35:24 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel Bitchface 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The sooner you girls (begin to) understand men, the better off you will be!!!
There is not a (hetero) man on this planet who can resist the great temptation of occasionally thinking.........."Boy, would I love to grab a slice of THAT", if they see some smokin' babe!!! I don't care who the woman is, men are ALWAYS on the prowl for quality @ss!!!!!!! The only difference is some will yield to the temptation, and others will just keep walking.
Mr Happy
:o)
2006-11-29 06:38:08 · answer #6 · answered by hagtagg 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's not attracted to you?? He doesn't seem to respect you either. Move on girl. Let him try to have a long distance relationship with the Maryland girl.
2006-11-29 06:34:08 · answer #7 · answered by La Reina 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to have a husband, who I left. Then I had a internet boyfriend who i surely met perfect right here, and who now lives with me, so no i wager i don't have a internet boyfriend anymore. :)
2016-11-29 22:38:42 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not normal... if he isn't physically attracted to you then you need to do something to change that before you lose him! Join a gym, buy new clothes, get a makeover...
Now it's just an email relationship but I doubt it's going to end there.
2006-11-29 06:34:09 · answer #9 · answered by Eve 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Puhlease.
His behavior is totally unacceptable. Fantasy or not, she's taking time away from you and your boyfriend's relationship.
You need to talk to your boy and tell him you won't stand for it.
That's ridiculous.
He also shouldn't feel the need to have that relationship with her if he's completely satisfied with you.
Good luck.
2006-11-29 06:34:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋